How often should a writer repeat their characters' names in narration? It obviously fluctuates in dialogue based on how it's spoken and what the context is, but I often feel that I'm either over-using character names or not using them enough when I write narration, especially when there are few characters.
I tend to say their name on the first mention in a new paragraph and then revert back to the pronoun, but I still sometimes catch that I've used only a pronoun or only the name for too long and feel that it's obvious. Is it just a case of being hyper-aware or is it an actual problem?
You know why I pay to be a part of the workshop? So I don't have to think about stuff like this in first drafts. No joke. I just write it. I go over it and try to use what I've learned to make it tighter, and throw it to the wolves. People have pointed out where they get confused as to who is who, or where they felt like they got it already, and I take all of that and make a cleaner draft with it.
And I'm not trying to pish posh your question. It's a valid one. But I think it's only valid when you're talking about 2/3rd drafts, and after you've had some new eyes on it to let you know if you're going in the right direction.
Names are like punctuation and speech tags (s/he said). I don't notice it. If the sentence structure doesn't vary and every sentence starts with "John (did something", then I'll notice the name. Otherwise, use it as much as you need to keep it clear who is doing what.
@Rian That's really reassuring, thank you. By the way, I have your latest submission saved on my computer, I'm doing a manuscript review at the moment though so it won't be done 'til tomorrow.
@Howie I think my problem is that I get hyper-aware of it. I notice that I say the name and then wonder whether it's extremely obvious. So I can't tell whether it's blending in or not.
I'm writing in third person -- one male character, one female. So it's pretty obvious who's doing what if I don't use the names, but I don't want to bury that completely.
I agree with the point about not worrying about first drafts. It's technically a second draft, but it hasn't been workshopped. I have this problem a lot -- wondering if I'm hyper-aware because I noticed or if it's an actual problem -- on workshopped stories, too. I should just quit worrying about it and let other people take a look at it.
Courtney, try this. Next time you are reading a REALLY seamless dialogue exchange, pull it apart, thread by thread and do what the author did.
Also, listen to people speaking - if they know each other, the tendency is to use names less frequently and names tend to come out where there is an intensity - passion/anger, etc. In long term relationships, couples tend to stop using each other's names for the most part, whereas with strangers or salespeople, they will pepper the person's name to establish a level of intimacy. Try it, Courtney. You'll see.
I prefer character names to be used as seldom as possible in prose. It's a pet peeve of mine to read a story and have the name of a character constantly shoved in my face. I almost take it as an insult--the writer assumes I am so dumb that he has to remind me ten times in two minutes what the name of the character is and who is performing the action. My general rule is if there is only one character being described in any given paragraph, you should say their name a maximum of one time, and none at all if you can get away with it. I've noticed a lot of amateurs constantly type things like:
Kyra moved to the bedroom, swinging her hips as she went. She went to the mirror and stared into it, making faces at herself. Kyra's eyes were blue and beautiful. Men loved to talk about her eyes. Kyra just wanted them to leave her alone though; her eyes were none of their business. She moved to the bed and laid on it. The ceiling was high above her and she could see her reflection in the fan. Kyra lifted her leg and watched the reflection lift its leg. She pulled down her stocking.
Et cetera. See that all the time. The reader knows Kyra is doing all the action, so it's unnecessary to repeat her name that often. I generally just ask myself, "Since I last introduced the character, has there been any reason to think anyone else might be performing the actions she is performing?" If the answer is no, there is no need to repeat their name. A subtle reminder in the form of dialogue is cool in my book, though.
I do drive myself crazy when I'm writing dialogue/action between three or more characters. TOO MANY NAMES. STOP WRITING SO MANY NAMES. BUT I HAVE TO. NOOOO. Gigantic brain explosion. I should just stick to two characters per scene.
I do drive myself crazy when I'm writing dialogue/action between three or more characters. TOO MANY NAMES. STOP WRITING SO MANY NAMES. BUT I HAVE TO. NOOOO. Gigantic brain explosion.
God, yes. This. And sometimes I get too cute trying to come up with unique pronoun synonyms, which sounds equally forced. My most recent book in particular, you've got a protagonist who shares a lot of scenes with a pair of detectives. Their personalities and physical traits are near-opposites of one another, but it still nearly drove me to a straightjacket not being able to just say "the detective." Ugh.
I think it both varies and depends on how often it is needed to be clear.
Exactly. Most everything boils down to clarity. If you need the name, use it. If you don't, don't. It's a matter of stepping back and putting yourself in your readers' shoes and wondering whether you could tell who's doing what.
For me, it's also a special case of "I forgot her name". I don't mind having the name repeated because in fiction, as in life, I do not remember names. Heck, I forget my name half the time.
But having the character named once per paragraph (depending on the size of the paragraph - no need for it in a short paragraph if no other characters have acted since then), is ideal for me.
If it's going back and forth, then I like having some sort of notice of who is talking and a repeat of the name (because, once again, I forget names). Whether the 2nd character says the name in dialogue ("Come on, Bill") or it's a speech/action tag.
Also has to do with genders. If you have a he, a she (and I guess a it) I feel like you have a bit more wiggle room. He did suchandsuch, then she did suchandsuch, than a fly landed on it. If you have gender overlap I thnk you need the name more often for things to be clear.
I'm in favor of a new gender-neutral singular pronoun = hir, to replace their so as not to confuse it with the plural. Unlikely to catch on, though. And of course when spoken aloud it totally defeats the purpose.
Anyone using the pool must first shower off hir feet.
I get really irritated when I see names repeated too often. I remember seeing a ridiculous passage at an early point in Peter Straub's Koko that drove me nuts. He not only used the character's name a ludicrous number of times, he also then randomly threw in the last name for no apparent reason, and then a few pages in was referring to the same character but wrote in the name of someone else entirely. That's a pretty extreme example (and I've generally not found Straub to be a bad writer at all, so it surprised me, especially given the popularity of the work), but yeah, I find it really annoying when it's used more than is necessary. I would likely find once per paragraph to be overuse unless we're talking pretty long paragraphs.
Dwayne makes a good point also about gender. It's so much easier to deal with multiple characters and name usage if you've got a male and female character rather than multiples of the same gender. This still trips me up sometimes, as I tend more toward male/female character interaction and don't get as much practice with the other dynamic.
