aliensoul77
from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall.April 30, 2012 - 11:58pm
Utah can't win. You can't be the inventor of the competition and then win it, that's like the Monopoly Man dancing on the graves of the poor broken masses and laughing with blood money in his greedy little fists. I'm voting for a voodoo/Beckanator showdown. I want to see him use his magic ponytail on her ethereal goddess powers.
wickedvoodoo
from Mansfield, England is reading stuff.May 1, 2012 - 3:02am
I've been attaching barbs to the end of my ponytail so that I can use it as a cat-o'-nine-tails to flail my opponents with. If I do get to the final showdown then I'm gonna start windmill headbanging with it, and then everyone dies.
Crikey, I know there's plenty of time left but it's looking might tense again. Both matches are tied as I type this. There are very much four possible line-ups for the final still. Cue the suspense music from Jaws.
Bekanator
from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay HunterMay 1, 2012 - 5:08am
The cool thing about this round is that regardless of who wins or loses, there will still be another story from all of us, because of the bronze match. Am I right?
That said, I still want to win. There's some deep shit going on in the battlefield. And yet, voting is TENSE and I feel like i want to escape from God, to a magical island with a different God, wage war on all literature and knowledge by wroring myself out during this terrible apocalypse of undead voters.
Yesterday my phone died while I was at work, and I was a horrible mess of anxiety, not knowing...
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryMay 1, 2012 - 5:19am
Utah can't win. You can't be the inventor of the competition and then win it...
Yeah, that actually does concern me a bit. I'm leaning toward, on the off-chance I do win, either shifting all my phat loots down to the 2nd place person, or having Kirk send them to Avery for kick-ass running this show for the last 3 rounds.
Bekanator
from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay HunterMay 1, 2012 - 5:22am
Writing a shitty story would have been easier. *grudgefacebecausetheresatie!
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryMay 1, 2012 - 5:25am
Well. Thank you(?).
Bekanator
from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay HunterMay 1, 2012 - 5:29am
Seriously, all the stories this round are packing punches. We should all be damn proud.
Bekanator
from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay HunterMay 1, 2012 - 5:30am
ALSO, don't feel bad if you do end up winning this whole thing. If you do win the whole shebang, your victory shouldn't be slight just because you happen to have a lot of time to chill around here.
WAR's been tough on all of us.
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryMay 1, 2012 - 5:36am
you happen to have a lot of time to chill around here.
That part made me laugh. A month ago I had quite a bit of time to chill here. Now, not so much. And not so much until some time in September when my work (somewhat seasonal) slows down again. Of course then I'll have a new baby, so all my posts will be delerious, kinda like the posts Chester writes when he's on the pipe.
wickedvoodoo
from Mansfield, England is reading stuff.May 1, 2012 - 5:47am
You shouldn't be worried about that, Utah. You are like the host nation in the World Cup. They are allowed to win. The voting has always been blind so no worries man.
If we both get to the final though - I have no qualms slaying the delegate of the host nation.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMay 1, 2012 - 8:00am
"having Kirk send them to Avery"
Trying to buy my vote, huh? As the only person who can be 100% certain who wrote what, and seeing how close these polls are...
I'm not saying I'm for sale.
I'm just saying.
Bekanator
from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay HunterMay 1, 2012 - 1:16pm
is there no poll this round? It might be really interesting with only four stories to vote on.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMay 1, 2012 - 1:19pm
Oh. Sorry.
I'll go do that....
aliensoul77
from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall.May 1, 2012 - 2:19pm
I guessed every single story on the spot.
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryMay 1, 2012 - 2:22pm
What do you mean? As in, you guess who wrote each one?
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMay 1, 2012 - 2:23pm
Do you think you're right?
aliensoul77
from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall.May 1, 2012 - 2:27pm
I think I know everyone's writing styles pretty well but I could be wrong. However if I'm right then JY, you are gross lol
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryMay 1, 2012 - 2:28pm
alien, why don't you pm me your picks. I'm curious who you think wrote what.
Bekanator
from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay HunterMay 1, 2012 - 3:42pm
I also wanna know!
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMay 1, 2012 - 3:48pm
I wanna tell someone they are wrong!!
Bekanator
from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay HunterMay 1, 2012 - 4:53pm
First person to guess all four correctly gets a prize? Like a WAR losers consolation prize?
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMay 1, 2012 - 5:02pm
Yes.
I will determine the prize....
PM your answers - active contestants need not apply, one guess per user.
Prize will be awful.
Chester Pane
from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot DiazMay 1, 2012 - 5:22pm
Hmmmm.
I still want to fuck those prompts. Like have a jiggy prompt threesome with them. Wait, I might have already done that.
All I can think about is Rebecca's wide-on and sploosh. And D'avery's jumblies. And the size of Utah's badge in conjunction with those other images.
I guessed two right last time.
There are only four now.
Has anyone seen my pipe? I can't remember which thread I left it on.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMay 1, 2012 - 5:35pm
"I still want to fuck those prompts."
A lot of people liked these prompts, and last rounds as well. So I'd like to mention...any of you can write stories if you feel inspired. WAR will not sue you.
Bekanator
from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay HunterMay 1, 2012 - 5:37pm
Can the prize be webcam videos of Danny jerking it while reading WAR stories?
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryMay 1, 2012 - 5:37pm
I so totally want that prize.
Was that out loud?
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMay 1, 2012 - 5:38pm
If Danny would like to donate...
Chester Pane
from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot DiazMay 1, 2012 - 5:45pm
I hear they're taking sploosh donations now down at the tongue bank.
So, whichever of you troglodytes opened with:
It's been sunny ever since the dead started walking.
Well, let us just say I splooshed myself.
Love that juxtaposition.
wickedvoodoo
from Mansfield, England is reading stuff.May 2, 2012 - 12:38am
I like how the fighting talk has totally turned into lovin' talk. Folk waging war on each other's genitals.
Out of curiosity, Jessica, what made you decide on those pictures rather than, say, pictures of wedding cakes or robot dogs or dead babies or chester's pipe or your jumblies? Just wondering.
Ooh, did ya see that Richard's Round 1 story went live in Danny's new magazine? It looks very sexy. One of my WAR stories is going to be in issue two of that very same magazine.
Bekanator
from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay HunterMay 2, 2012 - 1:02am
^ Yeah, is it just me or is everyone turned on?
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMay 2, 2012 - 4:37am
"Jessica, what made you decide on those pictures rather than, say, pictures of wedding cakes or robot dogs or dead babies or chester's pipe or your jumblies?"
Funny you should ask, my original plan was just to have them both be pictures of myself. I just went on a picture seeking quest and found about 20 I liked and narrowed it down to pictures I thought might make interesting stories. The picture of Thailand was going to be a picture of a stained glass window until the very last second.
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryMay 2, 2012 - 5:28am
Interesting. What made you change it? I picture you, at your desk at work, with your face in your palm asking yourself, "Which of these pictures would inspire the most rape?" Obviously, the one from Thailand.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMay 2, 2012 - 6:20am
Well, it was a Sunday, so I was at home, but otherwise, yes. I liked the window, but I didn't like the idea of people being boxed in with feeling the urge to write something religious just because it was a stained glass window. Ultimately I felt like the pictures I chose could inspire a variety of stories. About rape.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMay 2, 2012 - 6:21am
This was the runner up
wickedvoodoo
from Mansfield, England is reading stuff.May 2, 2012 - 6:26am
Jesus rape? Hmm. Might write that one anyway.
Vote - should Jesus be the rapist or the victim?
Heh.
Bekanator
from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay HunterMay 2, 2012 - 8:05am
I picture you, at your desk at work, with your face in your palm asking yourself, "Which of these pictures would inspire the most rape?" Obviously, the one from Thailand.
Oh my God, man. Reading that totally beat out the Folgers for the best part of waking up this morning.
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryMay 2, 2012 - 8:44am
My moments of true inspiration are infrequent but powerful.
Bekanator
from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay HunterMay 2, 2012 - 8:57am
As slow as it is, this has probably been the most exciting round discussion forum yet!
Rape AND prizes?!
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMay 2, 2012 - 8:58am
So far no one has tried to get the really terrible prize.
I'm a little disappointed.
Bekanator
from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay HunterMay 2, 2012 - 9:49am
Danny hasn't even responded yet!
Liana
from Romania and Texas is reading Naked LunchMay 2, 2012 - 11:16am
I enjoyed the 4 stories! As for the prompt, I think we should have a brand new mini-war where all of us come up with a short-short (a page!) about one of the prompts! That way our envy will be silenced once and for all!
jyh
from VA is reading whatever he feels likeMay 2, 2012 - 11:17am
Vote - should Jesus be the rapist or the victim?
I'm planning to run for city council next term, so I can't respond to this.
Chester Pane
from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot DiazMay 2, 2012 - 3:36pm
A propos of picturing Davery™ at her desk.
Well, I will let Howie tell you what I picture. He is better at telling you what I picture than I am.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMay 2, 2012 - 4:58pm
Side contest over!
Chester accurately guessed all the stories! I'm very proud.
Chester Pane
from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot DiazMay 2, 2012 - 5:09pm
Please tell me the real prize is not that Danny cuntcockshunny sploosh.
I would prefer Jumblies™.
Chester Pane
from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot DiazMay 3, 2012 - 5:49pm
So, I just had another one of those mindsplurgy thingies.
And it goes like this:
If J.Y. Hopkins wins this round (and I am not saying he will) then I think we should do something totally radical.
Ryan Moon and J.Y. Hopkins would become a winning team of sorts (and I am not saying this is happening) and so...
Why don't (if this does end up being the case) they both write stories to go against whoever the other writer is?
I mean, Ryan was kicking tail before, right?
Just a brain sploosh.
Bekanator
from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay HunterMay 3, 2012 - 7:13pm
I'm not sure I understand this. So the final matchup would be three people? I think it's an interesting idea, but IF Hopkins wins, I think it's a bit unfair for the winner of the other matchup (either Utah or I) to have to battle two people in order to win, especially after coming so far.
Also, because voter turnout has been slimming down, a three-way might result in more opportunity for a tie.
I don't mean to be an asshole, but that's just how I feel about it.
Chester Pane
from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot DiazMay 3, 2012 - 7:29pm
Well, let us just say that this has created a very, very controversial situation.
What, you don't like three-ways?
And what I was proposing was this:
Ryan writes a story vs. J.Y.
The winner of that faces off against Fluke girl or Woooooo-tah.
But I already know Utah won, so I guess it would be Utah.
Bekanator
from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay HunterMay 3, 2012 - 7:48pm
AH! See, you said TEAM which I thought meant gang-rape.
Covewriter
from Nashville, Tennessee is reading & SonsMay 3, 2012 - 9:10pm
Wow down to a final few! This has been awesome to watch.
Utah can't win. You can't be the inventor of the competition and then win it, that's like the Monopoly Man dancing on the graves of the poor broken masses and laughing with blood money in his greedy little fists. I'm voting for a voodoo/Beckanator showdown. I want to see him use his magic ponytail on her ethereal goddess powers.
I've been attaching barbs to the end of my ponytail so that I can use it as a cat-o'-nine-tails to flail my opponents with. If I do get to the final showdown then I'm gonna start windmill headbanging with it, and then everyone dies.
Crikey, I know there's plenty of time left but it's looking might tense again. Both matches are tied as I type this. There are very much four possible line-ups for the final still. Cue the suspense music from Jaws.
The cool thing about this round is that regardless of who wins or loses, there will still be another story from all of us, because of the bronze match. Am I right?
That said, I still want to win. There's some deep shit going on in the battlefield. And yet, voting is TENSE and I feel like i want to escape from God, to a magical island with a different God, wage war on all literature and knowledge by wroring myself out during this terrible apocalypse of undead voters.
Yesterday my phone died while I was at work, and I was a horrible mess of anxiety, not knowing...
Yeah, that actually does concern me a bit. I'm leaning toward, on the off-chance I do win, either shifting all my phat loots down to the 2nd place person, or having Kirk send them to Avery for kick-ass running this show for the last 3 rounds.
Writing a shitty story would have been easier. *grudgefacebecausetheresatie!
Well. Thank you(?).
Seriously, all the stories this round are packing punches. We should all be damn proud.
ALSO, don't feel bad if you do end up winning this whole thing. If you do win the whole shebang, your victory shouldn't be slight just because you happen to have a lot of time to chill around here.
WAR's been tough on all of us.
That part made me laugh. A month ago I had quite a bit of time to chill here. Now, not so much. And not so much until some time in September when my work (somewhat seasonal) slows down again. Of course then I'll have a new baby, so all my posts will be delerious, kinda like the posts Chester writes when he's on the pipe.
You shouldn't be worried about that, Utah. You are like the host nation in the World Cup. They are allowed to win. The voting has always been blind so no worries man.
If we both get to the final though - I have no qualms slaying the delegate of the host nation.
"having Kirk send them to Avery"
Trying to buy my vote, huh? As the only person who can be 100% certain who wrote what, and seeing how close these polls are...
I'm not saying I'm for sale.
I'm just saying.
is there no poll this round? It might be really interesting with only four stories to vote on.
Oh. Sorry.
I'll go do that....
I guessed every single story on the spot.
What do you mean? As in, you guess who wrote each one?
Do you think you're right?
I think I know everyone's writing styles pretty well but I could be wrong. However if I'm right then JY, you are gross lol
alien, why don't you pm me your picks. I'm curious who you think wrote what.
I also wanna know!
I wanna tell someone they are wrong!!
First person to guess all four correctly gets a prize? Like a WAR losers consolation prize?
Yes.
I will determine the prize....
PM your answers - active contestants need not apply, one guess per user.
Prize will be awful.
Hmmmm.
I still want to fuck those prompts. Like have a jiggy prompt threesome with them. Wait, I might have already done that.
All I can think about is Rebecca's wide-on and sploosh. And D'avery's jumblies. And the size of Utah's badge in conjunction with those other images.
I guessed two right last time.
There are only four now.
Has anyone seen my pipe? I can't remember which thread I left it on.
"I still want to fuck those prompts."
A lot of people liked these prompts, and last rounds as well. So I'd like to mention...any of you can write stories if you feel inspired. WAR will not sue you.
Can the prize be webcam videos of Danny jerking it while reading WAR stories?
I so totally want that prize.
Was that out loud?
If Danny would like to donate...
I hear they're taking sploosh donations now down at the tongue bank.
So, whichever of you troglodytes opened with:
It's been sunny ever since the dead started walking.
Well, let us just say I splooshed myself.
Love that juxtaposition.
I like how the fighting talk has totally turned into lovin' talk. Folk waging war on each other's genitals.
Out of curiosity, Jessica, what made you decide on those pictures rather than, say, pictures of wedding cakes or robot dogs or dead babies or chester's pipe or your jumblies? Just wondering.
Ooh, did ya see that Richard's Round 1 story went live in Danny's new magazine? It looks very sexy. One of my WAR stories is going to be in issue two of that very same magazine.
^ Yeah, is it just me or is everyone turned on?
"Jessica, what made you decide on those pictures rather than, say, pictures of wedding cakes or robot dogs or dead babies or chester's pipe or your jumblies?"
Funny you should ask, my original plan was just to have them both be pictures of myself. I just went on a picture seeking quest and found about 20 I liked and narrowed it down to pictures I thought might make interesting stories. The picture of Thailand was going to be a picture of a stained glass window until the very last second.
Interesting. What made you change it? I picture you, at your desk at work, with your face in your palm asking yourself, "Which of these pictures would inspire the most rape?" Obviously, the one from Thailand.
Well, it was a Sunday, so I was at home, but otherwise, yes. I liked the window, but I didn't like the idea of people being boxed in with feeling the urge to write something religious just because it was a stained glass window. Ultimately I felt like the pictures I chose could inspire a variety of stories. About rape.
This was the runner up
Jesus rape? Hmm. Might write that one anyway.
Vote - should Jesus be the rapist or the victim?
Heh.
I picture you, at your desk at work, with your face in your palm asking yourself, "Which of these pictures would inspire the most rape?" Obviously, the one from Thailand.
Oh my God, man. Reading that totally beat out the Folgers for the best part of waking up this morning.
My moments of true inspiration are infrequent but powerful.
As slow as it is, this has probably been the most exciting round discussion forum yet!
Rape AND prizes?!
So far no one has tried to get the really terrible prize.
I'm a little disappointed.
Danny hasn't even responded yet!
I enjoyed the 4 stories! As for the prompt, I think we should have a brand new mini-war where all of us come up with a short-short (a page!) about one of the prompts! That way our envy will be silenced once and for all!
I'm planning to run for city council next term, so I can't respond to this.
A propos of picturing Davery™ at her desk.
Well, I will let Howie tell you what I picture. He is better at telling you what I picture than I am.
Side contest over!
Chester accurately guessed all the stories! I'm very proud.
Please tell me the real prize is not that Danny cuntcockshunny sploosh.
I would prefer Jumblies™.
So, I just had another one of those mindsplurgy thingies.
And it goes like this:
If J.Y. Hopkins wins this round (and I am not saying he will) then I think we should do something totally radical.
Ryan Moon and J.Y. Hopkins would become a winning team of sorts (and I am not saying this is happening) and so...
Why don't (if this does end up being the case) they both write stories to go against whoever the other writer is?
I mean, Ryan was kicking tail before, right?
Just a brain sploosh.
I'm not sure I understand this. So the final matchup would be three people? I think it's an interesting idea, but IF Hopkins wins, I think it's a bit unfair for the winner of the other matchup (either Utah or I) to have to battle two people in order to win, especially after coming so far.
Also, because voter turnout has been slimming down, a three-way might result in more opportunity for a tie.
I don't mean to be an asshole, but that's just how I feel about it.
Well, let us just say that this has created a very, very controversial situation.
What, you don't like three-ways?
And what I was proposing was this:
Ryan writes a story vs. J.Y.
The winner of that faces off against Fluke girl or Woooooo-tah.
But I already know Utah won, so I guess it would be Utah.
AH! See, you said TEAM which I thought meant gang-rape.
Wow down to a final few! This has been awesome to watch.