Jose F. Diaz
from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary MantelMarch 6, 2012 - 4:52pm
Suzy is killing me in class. She is taking me out of my comfort zone and making me think well outside the box. My mind hurts. I really want to drink, but that isn't going to help me figure it out. FML!
Americantypo
from Philadelphia is reading The Bone ClocksMarch 6, 2012 - 5:09pm
Good luck to my opponent in round one, Liana. May the best writer win
Americantypo
from Philadelphia is reading The Bone ClocksMarch 6, 2012 - 5:15pm
SIKE! I hope your typewriter gets AIDs and you cant write your story!
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMarch 6, 2012 - 5:44pm
Typewriter AIDS is a pretty good one - cheers.
Bekanator
from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay HunterMarch 6, 2012 - 7:08pm
um, just read the prizes. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING, a hundred bucks off a class! Honestly my dream.
I don't understand the point in seeding, it seems like you paired one obvious winner v. one obvious loser (me). But I will have you guys know, I have won more "best effort" or better yet "most improvement" athletic awards than any of you.
A hundred bucks of a class would be rad, considering that all my cash as of late has been going toward heating bills and renovating. That said, Rach, I'm looking forward to the battle. The very least any of us will be getting out of this WAR is one story that we can work on improving, which is a hell of a lot better than, you know, dying.
Chester Pane
from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot DiazMarch 6, 2012 - 7:26pm
What's all this about tough clits, jumblies, girls not having balls, toyboys, nutrisweet, corpse rape, who's on whom tight pantsed chick bandied puff-n-stuff.
Did someone say there was going to be a bar?
Wow. The LR swag is shaggy.
Renfield
from Hell is reading 20th Century GhostsMarch 6, 2012 - 7:54pm
This should be easy. Have fun sucking, everyone.
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryMarch 6, 2012 - 7:57pm
I'd rather not suck everyone. I may have good stamina, but I also have self-respect.
Chester Pane
from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot DiazMarch 6, 2012 - 8:01pm
Rennie cheer down.
You are way too jolly.
You're making my jumblies hurt.
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryMarch 6, 2012 - 8:06pm
Strategy. I like this.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMarch 6, 2012 - 8:06pm
Rach - that's not bad.
Lots of great techniques here. Rach is impersonating, Utah is sucking everyone, Chester is...doing what it is Chester does.
Liana
from Romania and Texas is reading Naked LunchMarch 6, 2012 - 8:09pm
Americantypo, my typewriter always wears a condom.
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryMarch 6, 2012 - 8:11pm
Hey, I believe I was pretty specific in my assertion that I would not be sucking everyone. It will be a clearly defined list, with boundaries.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMarch 6, 2012 - 8:13pm
Will the list be limited to the people you are competing against, or only those voting?
Should I construct some sort of poll?
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryMarch 6, 2012 - 8:14pm
It might be a good idea, because at the moment I'm not entirely certain who to suck.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMarch 6, 2012 - 8:17pm
Ah, so should the choices be...opponents, voters, and then...other? I need a focus group here.
Jose F. Diaz
from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary MantelMarch 6, 2012 - 8:19pm
It is going to be a very long week for you Utah. You have no clue what I am capable of when I actually try. And have no doubt, I will be trying.
Chester Pane
from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot DiazMarch 6, 2012 - 8:20pm
I am thinking about girl balls and jumblies.
Actually, all day at work I was thinking about the girl balls question.
Girls have balls but in order to reach them you really have to stretch your tongue with all your might. Or use some sort of probing instrument. Ideally one with a fleshlight on the end for good night vision.
@Nikki: Do you mean you signed up for the workshop?
Chester Pane
from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot DiazMarch 6, 2012 - 8:23pm
@Avery: You should construct some sort of pole for this whole sucking exercise.
Jose F. Diaz
from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary MantelMarch 6, 2012 - 8:24pm
Chester, do you mean their ovaries? It may take more than a probing instrument.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMarch 6, 2012 - 8:24pm
What sort of pole? I can make a poll for the pole.
Chester Pane
from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot DiazMarch 6, 2012 - 8:27pm
Something with a fleshlight, ask Nikki, she has one you might be able to borrow. And she likes your jumblies, so you're in.
@Diaz: I think women actually have testicles in their abdomens somewhere.
Jose F. Diaz
from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary MantelMarch 6, 2012 - 8:29pm
It would be an interesting idea. I've been a Corpsman for many years and have never had to study that part of the anatomy. In other words...no, they don't.
Nick Wilczynski
from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. MartinMarch 6, 2012 - 8:29pm
You do not let someone else borrow your fleshlight. That's rule number one. I think it's printed on the box.
Nikki Guerlain
from Portlandia
March 6, 2012 - 11:29pm
@chester i did sign up for the workshop. i was going to later this spring/summer because i don't have a lot of time for it at the moment but i want to vote so i went ahead. it's probably a good thing anyhow. i enjoy going over other writers' work for them. but as nice as i am, i'm a pretty ruthless editor. i mean, i don't feel like stories are a precious part of someone but are sculpted and can always be better it's just sometimes it's good enough so ... on to the next thing. i'm sure i will be able to ferret out who will and won't benefit from what i have to offer. or i can just do what i did in the cult years ago ... which is wait until people contact me to review their work.
anyhow, yeah. i'm in.
btw, at first i thought you are responding to avery about sucking pole and i was like wtf but it was really funny!
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMarch 6, 2012 - 8:36pm
Oh God. Utah changed his picture to some scary Punisher skull. This is so intense.
I don't wanna change my picture.
Jose F. Diaz
from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary MantelMarch 6, 2012 - 8:39pm
He can have a drawing, but my weapons are real. I'm locked and loaded for real in my pic. I was also on my way to a mass casualty situation in a CH-53. It's too bad that none of that makes be a better writer. lol
Bekanator
from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay HunterMarch 6, 2012 - 8:48pm
@Rach - I can probably help you with the third step. I don't really use perfume, so if you want something that smells like me then you can slather up your computer with the Herbal Essences in the orange bottle. For some reason that's all people seem to mention when they get up in my personal space.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMarch 6, 2012 - 8:55pm
<---- Can this be war-ish enough? I'm too full of myself to be out of the picture completely.
Jose F. Diaz
from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary MantelMarch 6, 2012 - 8:59pm
It is distracting and you are using your weapons effectively. It is war-ish enough for me.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMarch 6, 2012 - 9:03pm
Haha! Awesome. I'll go back to my sweet wonderful picture after the war. Or after I get knocked out of that war - one of those.
Chester Pane
from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot DiazMarch 6, 2012 - 9:07pm
@Nikki: Very cool. I hope your rip my shit apart in the workshop. I agree with your approach 100%. Yeah, I love the telephone game aspect of these forums. WTF is all the time. I can't imagine what someone who stumbles onto some of these extended conversations thinks.
@Diaz: No, really, I think they do at birth or something. Or in the womb.
@Avery: If by War-ish you mean War-jumblies. (Thanks Nikki, Now the Jumblies have attached themselves to my tongue).
@Rebecca: Aren't the Herbal Essence commercials the orgasm ones?
Nikki Guerlain
from Portlandia
March 6, 2012 - 9:09pm
Death Match Mode ENGAGED.
Transmission: I will swallow all of your souls and smear your residue all over hell's shit house walls.
//Must
//Suck
//Souls
End Transmission.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMarch 6, 2012 - 9:09pm
Chester - I think you have it backwards. All babies are initially female. Then later they get screwed up sometimes. Which is why I am pretty certain that IN THE BEGINNING there was only Woman. And one day a male was born, and he was a genetic mutant, and they probably should have killed him, but the maternal instinct kicked in and now we have War. The End.
Nick Wilczynski
from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. MartinMarch 6, 2012 - 9:13pm
So in the beginning women were hermaphrodites? Or asexual? And, in either case isn't gender status of any sort defined in contrast?
I only post this because your picture is distracting me. I always had ideas about those things with the old pic, now I can't stop looking.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersMarch 6, 2012 - 9:16pm
"those things" LOL!
I have no idea. Let's say asexual, that sounds right.
Jose F. Diaz
from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary MantelMarch 6, 2012 - 9:23pm
Yes, tadpoles to babies and in the development some grow up to fuck shit up and start the wars and others grow up to be fucked up and instigate the wars.
That's as much leeway as I will give you Avery.
Covewriter
from Nashville, Tennessee is reading & SonsMarch 6, 2012 - 9:43pm
I just realized who I'm up against. I don't know the people here that well yet so I checked him out. Any chance there are handicaps in this bloody sport -- for beginners? Joking! I'm just happy to get a topic and start on a fresh story. It will be fun and the assignment will give me focus. Also, I've never written transgressive, or read novels by Chuck P -- but I could probably pull out some dark and strange things if needed. We shall see.
Chester Pane
from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot DiazMarch 6, 2012 - 9:54pm
I remember now. You guys are right. It isn't testicles that both men and women have.
It's tentacles.
My bad.
Let's make out.
Richard
from St. Louis is reading various anthologiesMarch 6, 2012 - 10:15pm
hey covewriter! if it makes you feel better, i just checked you out today, sister. had to see who i was up against. any given sunday. just write whatever kind of story you want to, doesn't have to be transgressive or full of Chucky P. good luck.
jyh
from VA is reading whatever he feels likeMarch 6, 2012 - 10:23pm
Now that there are prizes, I'm probably never going to get in.
I guess I'll just take all these stories to the New Yorker... Malcolm Gladwell is going down!!!!
aliensoul77
from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall.March 6, 2012 - 10:25pm
jyh
from VA is reading whatever he feels likeMarch 6, 2012 - 10:28pm
What's that from?
aliensoul77
from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall.March 6, 2012 - 10:42pm
If you don't know, you lose the test!!!!!!!!
Just Kidding. It's American Werewolf in London. Best movie EVER!
Nikki Guerlain
from Portlandia
March 6, 2012 - 11:02pm
so hey are there many sci fi buffs here or are y'all a bunch of Palah-niks? Or neither?
Chester Pane
from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot DiazMarch 6, 2012 - 11:05pm
I'm everything.
I mean I like every genre.
I like Sci-Fi. I don't know if I am a buff liker though, but I really like it.
aliensoul77
from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall.March 6, 2012 - 11:12pm
I like sci-fi and horror.
if you guys want to come in litreactor chat we are in there now
Bekanator
from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Ugly Girls by Lindsay HunterMarch 6, 2012 - 11:16pm
@Chester - Indeed, they were. Not sure if they still are, though, however that does make me realize that Herbal Essences was totally rocking the "organic" trend way before overpriced hippie food.
Chester Pane
from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot DiazMarch 6, 2012 - 11:34pm
Yeah, orgasmic trend. I love those commercials. In France they have them but the women are nude and caressing their breasts with the suds, on normal T.V.
So, you doing some remodeling? We should start a 'Houses' thread or 'Remodeling' thread or something with Renee and whoever else is into houses and whatnot.
Dave
from a city near you is reading constantlyMarch 6, 2012 - 11:39pm
Suzy is killing me in class. She is taking me out of my comfort zone and making me think well outside the box. My mind hurts. I really want to drink, but that isn't going to help me figure it out. FML!
Good luck to my opponent in round one, Liana. May the best writer win
SIKE! I hope your typewriter gets AIDs and you cant write your story!
Typewriter AIDS is a pretty good one - cheers.
A hundred bucks of a class would be rad, considering that all my cash as of late has been going toward heating bills and renovating. That said, Rach, I'm looking forward to the battle. The very least any of us will be getting out of this WAR is one story that we can work on improving, which is a hell of a lot better than, you know, dying.
What's all this about tough clits, jumblies, girls not having balls, toyboys, nutrisweet, corpse rape, who's on whom tight pantsed chick bandied puff-n-stuff.
Did someone say there was going to be a bar?
Wow. The LR swag is shaggy.
This should be easy. Have fun sucking, everyone.
I'd rather not suck everyone. I may have good stamina, but I also have self-respect.
Rennie cheer down.
You are way too jolly.
You're making my jumblies hurt.
Strategy. I like this.
Rach - that's not bad.
Lots of great techniques here. Rach is impersonating, Utah is sucking everyone, Chester is...doing what it is Chester does.
Americantypo, my typewriter always wears a condom.
Hey, I believe I was pretty specific in my assertion that I would not be sucking everyone. It will be a clearly defined list, with boundaries.
Will the list be limited to the people you are competing against, or only those voting?
Should I construct some sort of poll?
It might be a good idea, because at the moment I'm not entirely certain who to suck.
Ah, so should the choices be...opponents, voters, and then...other? I need a focus group here.
It is going to be a very long week for you Utah. You have no clue what I am capable of when I actually try. And have no doubt, I will be trying.
I am thinking about girl balls and jumblies.
Actually, all day at work I was thinking about the girl balls question.
Girls have balls but in order to reach them you really have to stretch your tongue with all your might. Or use some sort of probing instrument. Ideally one with a fleshlight on the end for good night vision.
@Nikki: Do you mean you signed up for the workshop?
@Avery: You should construct some sort of pole for this whole sucking exercise.
Chester, do you mean their ovaries? It may take more than a probing instrument.
What sort of pole? I can make a poll for the pole.
Something with a fleshlight, ask Nikki, she has one you might be able to borrow. And she likes your jumblies, so you're in.
@Diaz: I think women actually have testicles in their abdomens somewhere.
It would be an interesting idea. I've been a Corpsman for many years and have never had to study that part of the anatomy. In other words...no, they don't.
You do not let someone else borrow your fleshlight. That's rule number one. I think it's printed on the box.
@chester i did sign up for the workshop. i was going to later this spring/summer because i don't have a lot of time for it at the moment but i want to vote so i went ahead. it's probably a good thing anyhow. i enjoy going over other writers' work for them. but as nice as i am, i'm a pretty ruthless editor. i mean, i don't feel like stories are a precious part of someone but are sculpted and can always be better it's just sometimes it's good enough so ... on to the next thing. i'm sure i will be able to ferret out who will and won't benefit from what i have to offer. or i can just do what i did in the cult years ago ... which is wait until people contact me to review their work.
anyhow, yeah. i'm in.
btw, at first i thought you are responding to avery about sucking pole and i was like wtf but it was really funny!
Oh God. Utah changed his picture to some scary Punisher skull. This is so intense.
I don't wanna change my picture.
He can have a drawing, but my weapons are real. I'm locked and loaded for real in my pic. I was also on my way to a mass casualty situation in a CH-53. It's too bad that none of that makes be a better writer. lol
@Rach - I can probably help you with the third step. I don't really use perfume, so if you want something that smells like me then you can slather up your computer with the Herbal Essences in the orange bottle. For some reason that's all people seem to mention when they get up in my personal space.
<---- Can this be war-ish enough? I'm too full of myself to be out of the picture completely.
It is distracting and you are using your weapons effectively. It is war-ish enough for me.
Haha! Awesome. I'll go back to my sweet wonderful picture after the war. Or after I get knocked out of that war - one of those.
@Nikki: Very cool. I hope your rip my shit apart in the workshop. I agree with your approach 100%. Yeah, I love the telephone game aspect of these forums. WTF is all the time. I can't imagine what someone who stumbles onto some of these extended conversations thinks.
@Diaz: No, really, I think they do at birth or something. Or in the womb.
@Avery: If by War-ish you mean War-jumblies. (Thanks Nikki, Now the Jumblies have attached themselves to my tongue).
@Rebecca: Aren't the Herbal Essence commercials the orgasm ones?
Death Match Mode ENGAGED.
Transmission: I will swallow all of your souls and smear your residue all over hell's shit house walls.
//Must
//Suck
//Souls
End Transmission.
Chester - I think you have it backwards. All babies are initially female. Then later they get screwed up sometimes. Which is why I am pretty certain that IN THE BEGINNING there was only Woman. And one day a male was born, and he was a genetic mutant, and they probably should have killed him, but the maternal instinct kicked in and now we have War. The End.
So in the beginning women were hermaphrodites? Or asexual? And, in either case isn't gender status of any sort defined in contrast?
I only post this because your picture is distracting me. I always had ideas about those things with the old pic, now I can't stop looking.
"those things" LOL!
I have no idea. Let's say asexual, that sounds right.
Yes, tadpoles to babies and in the development some grow up to fuck shit up and start the wars and others grow up to be fucked up and instigate the wars.
That's as much leeway as I will give you Avery.
I just realized who I'm up against. I don't know the people here that well yet so I checked him out. Any chance there are handicaps in this bloody sport -- for beginners? Joking! I'm just happy to get a topic and start on a fresh story. It will be fun and the assignment will give me focus. Also, I've never written transgressive, or read novels by Chuck P -- but I could probably pull out some dark and strange things if needed. We shall see.
I remember now. You guys are right. It isn't testicles that both men and women have.
It's tentacles.
My bad.
Let's make out.
hey covewriter! if it makes you feel better, i just checked you out today, sister. had to see who i was up against. any given sunday. just write whatever kind of story you want to, doesn't have to be transgressive or full of Chucky P. good luck.
Now that there are prizes, I'm probably never going to get in.
I guess I'll just take all these stories to the New Yorker... Malcolm Gladwell is going down!!!!
What's that from?
If you don't know, you lose the test!!!!!!!!
Just Kidding. It's American Werewolf in London. Best movie EVER!
so hey are there many sci fi buffs here or are y'all a bunch of Palah-niks? Or neither?
I'm everything.
I mean I like every genre.
I like Sci-Fi. I don't know if I am a buff liker though, but I really like it.
I like sci-fi and horror.
if you guys want to come in litreactor chat we are in there now
http://cgiirc.synirc.net/irc.cgi
#litreactor
@Chester - Indeed, they were. Not sure if they still are, though, however that does make me realize that Herbal Essences was totally rocking the "organic" trend way before overpriced hippie food.
Yeah, orgasmic trend. I love those commercials. In France they have them but the women are nude and caressing their breasts with the suds, on normal T.V.
So, you doing some remodeling? We should start a 'Houses' thread or 'Remodeling' thread or something with Renee and whoever else is into houses and whatnot.