Remember being a kid and being offended if someone called you a "Dillhole"?
What other un-swears are terribly offensive or just plain hilarious?
Everything from this list:
@popeye: Thank you.
Oh man, the next person to piss me off is definitely getting told they are as ugly as a salad.
GET BLOWN BY A HUNGRY CARPATHIAN SHE-WOLF, YOU SCOUNDRELOUS SALAD-FACED UGLY!!!
My personal favorite was "My dick in your conscience." That is art. Art.
I was going to say Dillweed.
Seriously, picture what an asshat would be?
Is the version you think of a hat shaped like an ass you wear on the head, or a hat placed upon the buttocks?
Not an asshat, but I've always loved the Asshead Monster:
asshat is what it sounds like. Imagine Al Capone wearing someone's ass on his fedora.
I always took asshat to mean a hat for the ass, or in otherwords, useless.
I only ever heard those words on Beavis and Butthead.
I always assumed hat for the ass, as in, "you sir, are quite silly."
Hey Sean, another Joyce Carol Oates fan in the house!
"numbnuts" is currently in heavy rotation in my vocab, but so is "artless cunt", which is IMHO the most insulting thing I can say about someone.
The non-swear that makes me grit my teeth when it is said in my direction is... "you people". I hate it so much.
"You people can't do anything right, can you?"
"You people think you're so smart, don't you?"
"You people can't just steal our money whenever you want."
I do not want to be lumped in with these people, I just answer the phone!
"I'll knock you into a cocked hat." Love that 50's slang.
presumably hitting someone so the hat sits ajar or off, funnier thought hitting someone a jolt and the hat stays still which i find a humorous image, and not knocking someone into an actual hat full of cocks, which is still quite funny.
@Meat Seeker: What, are you a gypsy?
I wish! I can't wear a shawl to save my life. I do steal children though. Children and canned goods.
Hm...I can't think of any really great ones, but my toddler has become a parrot, so I have been utilizing some pretty creative expletives. My current favorite is "Mother Fletcher". I can get almost all the way through "motherfucker" and still save it before I say something that will get her kicked out of childcare if she repeats it.
I like "son of a mother and a father."
True story, I went to a girlfriend's for dinner last night, and she was showing me how smart her 2 year old is, saying "what does a tiger say?", "what does a monkey say?", etc. Then this happened:
"What does Mommy say?"
"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!" (all while jumping up and down really fast...)
So freakin' funny. Inappropriate, but funny.
"Dingleberry" - nostalgically hilarious
"Knick-knack" - someone who looks good but is really good-for-nothing; useless; serves no practical purpose
Swearing in German, esp. with German idioms such as "Someone must have screwed off the top of your head and shit there." Vulgar. "Arschloch" for "asshole", "Kackbratze" for "shit-face", but my favorite by far is "Scheissekopf" for "shit-head". Takes the silliness out of swearing and makes it sound serious (if you're swearing at someone who doesn't speak Deutch)...
@Meat Seeker--that is freaking awesome. A couple weeks ago, I hit my knee in a sweet spot, and it hurt so bad I went fetal, I was wailing "ow fuck! fuuuuuuuuuck! Ow! Fuck!" a few minutes later I was on speaker phone with my husband and my two year old decides to re-enact the scene.
@Boone--I am starting to relearn German, you must share that idiom in German. Please.
My Dad says son of a biscuit.
My kid says "Oh, Barnacles!" when she's frustrated. Thank god for Spongebob.
My child's biggest all time insult is "You're not my buddy!"
It actually is pretty hurtful.
Aww, yeah that is rough ;)
Mine says "I'm NOT your mom anymore." when she's mad at me.
I think three is a confusing age.
Swamp Donkey, Britney Spears wanna-be, Paris Hilton's offspring, Abortion posterchild, An anchovies C..., The missing link....etc etc so on and so forth.
Another of my little one, after watching Transformers movie (the real one from the eighties) he grabbed my husband's throat and said "I'll rip out your optics."
That was HILARIOUS. We had to have a long talk later.
@Jessica--You're not my buddy!! Lol that is hurtful, I would cry.
When I was 3 or 4 I attempted to tie my shoes. After a long struggle, I became frustrated, threw my shoes across my room and said, "Fuck these things." But, at that time, neither of my parents used the F-word. To this day my mom still can't figure out where I learned it.
Awe, you're all my buddies.
Fuddruckers... Not really a non-swear word, but sure as hell sounds like one.
When I was 18ish, if anyone made me mad, I'd sniff them and say, "You smell like pee."
Hahaha. Love it.
@Bryan: Freakin' awesome!
@ Bryan: Well played sir, well played indeed.
"Another of my little one, after watching Transformers movie (the real one from the eighties) he grabbed my husband's throat and said "I'll rip out your optics."
You're a good mother.
Haha! Bless your heart. Yeah. Arise Rodimus Prime. You've got the touch.
YOU'VE GOT THE POOOOWWWWWERRRRRR!
Insert my son with a touch light shoved under his shirt saying it's a matrix.
Nothing beats this performance
@Renee, "Fletcher" is new slang. It's like wanker, but for girls. Cause, you know, onomatopoeia?
Holy shit, I'm going to start calling the girl who works in my office that. She'll never know!