Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryFebruary 8, 2012 - 2:20pm
Funny coincidence. I say that to my wife sometimes.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersFebruary 8, 2012 - 2:21pm
I bet you guys have fun.
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryFebruary 8, 2012 - 2:27pm
Hell yeah. She loves New York football!
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersFebruary 8, 2012 - 2:29pm
That's nice. I like that.
Ridiculous statement of the day: bring it on buddy boy because I can be in a pit of water snakes quicker than you can say...well, it will be super fast....and it will be super gross...and then I will need all kind of rabies shots or something because the dungeon is disgusting!!!
Laramore Black
from Joplin, Missouri is reading Mario Kart 8February 8, 2012 - 6:22pm
"Why do you bathe in porcupines?"
Uh, why wouldn't you?
Boone Spaulding
from Coldwater, Michigan, U.S.A. is reading Solarcide Presents: Nova ParadeFebruary 8, 2012 - 6:39pm
Oh, these were hilarious customer service stories. Cheered me up (further) - I wasn't even downhearted.
I worked with a building maintenance contractor for 18 years, the last 6 years as the overnight on-call supervisor. I had to answer to 120 of our employees or 90 of our clients every night. I got soooo thick-skinned...
Toward the last days, my responses to asswarts like y'all described was one of two:
1) Laugh right in their faces - say nothing, just chuckle. Their words, screams, and the looks on their faces get progressively more hilarious...
2) If I was grumpy, a Noo Yawk City "fuck you" - which is pronounced: (understated) "faaahwk" followed by emphasized "yOu" with a sharp drop in tone on the "oo". New York City fuck-you's are the epitomy of contempt...
Boone Spaulding
from Coldwater, Michigan, U.S.A. is reading Solarcide Presents: Nova ParadeFebruary 8, 2012 - 6:41pm
[double delete]
Typewriter Demigod
from London is reading "White Noise" by DeLilo, "Moby-Dick" by Hermann Mellivile and "Uylsses" by JoyceFebruary 8, 2012 - 6:45pm
Right, so there's this guy in my year, and he is a life failiure. Smokes weed, plays too much FIFA, jerks off, doesn't study. He's gonna fuck up. I ask him what he's gonna do iin the future. he says,
"I wanna be a premier league footballer....or be a scientist or crap like that."
It's difficult to get why this is funny, but I found that totally hilarious. Also, get this, someone asked me last week,
"So, Sam, I heard you wrote a book about a boy raping a rabbit. Can I read it?" This was in reference to the pedophile story.
avery of the dead
from Kentucky is reading Cipher SistersFebruary 8, 2012 - 6:52pm
My last real confrontation with a customer occured early last year. Probably in April or May (I left customer service in June, thank God). This guy was screaming at me because we didn't have the book he needed. THis was at the college bookstore. See, about a week before class ends, we return any unsold books. Point is, we didn't have it.
So he just went nuts over it. I explained that he could pre-pay for it and I would be happy to order the book. Which he did, but he was mad and he wanted to to yell, and I was right there, so, you know. I got really stoic and put my serious bitch face on. I just didn't react at all. Then he asked for some batteries. And I say, "Right over here." I march from behind the counter and have my head held high, really trying to look smug. Then I slipped and fell. And I fell HARD. But I wanted to save face, so I popped right back up and showed him the batteries. He bitched about the price and didn't buy any. Once he was gone I inspected my knee. It swelled up and turned colors. I had to throw out the slacks I had been wearing because I skinned a hole right through the knee. Not my finest hour. But not my worst either.
postpomo
from Canada is reading words words wordsFebruary 8, 2012 - 7:26pm
@Avery - that is the best CSR story ever...
lkeener
from NE Ohio is reading Devil in the White City by Erik Larson among othersFebruary 8, 2012 - 9:38pm
I love this thread. You guys rock.
My MIL is a constant source of stupid statements. When the Olympics are on TV, she watches every single last event. During the last Olympics, she called to tell me Uncle Johnny was in the hospital and that his "decatheter" was making him crabby.
When we were picking out the grave for her sister in law, it was suggested that we might not want a spot near the driveway because it would be covered by snow when they plowed. My mother in law looked over toward my father in law's spot along an adjacent drive and said, "Well, Bob doesn't seem to mind."
The best one, though, was her comment that Jews weren't around when the Bible was written.
::crickets::
lkeener
from NE Ohio is reading Devil in the White City by Erik Larson among othersFebruary 8, 2012 - 9:45pm
These stories remind me of my husband's - he runs the paint department at a hardware store. When customer's scream or are just a general PIA, he smiles sweetly as he hands them their bag and says "Fuck you VERY much!" Most of them never notice but it makes him feel better.
Funny coincidence. I say that to my wife sometimes.
I bet you guys have fun.
Hell yeah. She loves New York football!
That's nice. I like that.
Ridiculous statement of the day: bring it on buddy boy because I can be in a pit of water snakes quicker than you can say...well, it will be super fast....and it will be super gross...and then I will need all kind of rabies shots or something because the dungeon is disgusting!!!
"Why do you bathe in porcupines?"
Uh, why wouldn't you?
Oh, these were hilarious customer service stories. Cheered me up (further) - I wasn't even downhearted.
I worked with a building maintenance contractor for 18 years, the last 6 years as the overnight on-call supervisor. I had to answer to 120 of our employees or 90 of our clients every night. I got soooo thick-skinned...
Toward the last days, my responses to asswarts like y'all described was one of two:
1) Laugh right in their faces - say nothing, just chuckle. Their words, screams, and the looks on their faces get progressively more hilarious...
2) If I was grumpy, a Noo Yawk City "fuck you" - which is pronounced: (understated) "faaahwk" followed by emphasized "yOu" with a sharp drop in tone on the "oo". New York City fuck-you's are the epitomy of contempt...
[double delete]
Right, so there's this guy in my year, and he is a life failiure. Smokes weed, plays too much FIFA, jerks off, doesn't study. He's gonna fuck up. I ask him what he's gonna do iin the future. he says,
"I wanna be a premier league footballer....or be a scientist or crap like that."
It's difficult to get why this is funny, but I found that totally hilarious. Also, get this, someone asked me last week,
"So, Sam, I heard you wrote a book about a boy raping a rabbit. Can I read it?" This was in reference to the pedophile story.
My last real confrontation with a customer occured early last year. Probably in April or May (I left customer service in June, thank God). This guy was screaming at me because we didn't have the book he needed. THis was at the college bookstore. See, about a week before class ends, we return any unsold books. Point is, we didn't have it.
So he just went nuts over it. I explained that he could pre-pay for it and I would be happy to order the book. Which he did, but he was mad and he wanted to to yell, and I was right there, so, you know. I got really stoic and put my serious bitch face on. I just didn't react at all. Then he asked for some batteries. And I say, "Right over here." I march from behind the counter and have my head held high, really trying to look smug. Then I slipped and fell. And I fell HARD. But I wanted to save face, so I popped right back up and showed him the batteries. He bitched about the price and didn't buy any. Once he was gone I inspected my knee. It swelled up and turned colors. I had to throw out the slacks I had been wearing because I skinned a hole right through the knee. Not my finest hour. But not my worst either.
@Avery - that is the best CSR story ever...
I love this thread. You guys rock.
My MIL is a constant source of stupid statements. When the Olympics are on TV, she watches every single last event. During the last Olympics, she called to tell me Uncle Johnny was in the hospital and that his "decatheter" was making him crabby.
When we were picking out the grave for her sister in law, it was suggested that we might not want a spot near the driveway because it would be covered by snow when they plowed. My mother in law looked over toward my father in law's spot along an adjacent drive and said, "Well, Bob doesn't seem to mind."
The best one, though, was her comment that Jews weren't around when the Bible was written.
::crickets::
These stories remind me of my husband's - he runs the paint department at a hardware store. When customer's scream or are just a general PIA, he smiles sweetly as he hands them their bag and says "Fuck you VERY much!" Most of them never notice but it makes him feel better.