Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 8, 2012 - 1:26am

We call them Fuck trophys in the Navy. Of course that is always out of ear shot of mothers and some fathers.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. February 8, 2012 - 5:45am

Oh man, I am not touching that one, I'm sure avery will beat you later.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 8, 2012 - 6:19am

I can understand not liking kids.  They are not for everyone and I would actually rather you not breed.

However, out of respect to those of us who have babies, I think statements like that are better left to yourself.

When I read, "Are there any girls on this site that don't have those things?", not only are your referring to my child (whom I would kill for - be warned) as a 'thing', you are also implying that you wish to speak with people who do not have children.  As if having children is undesirable to you in general.  And maybe it is.  But let's be real here.  This is an online writing forum, not an internet dating site.  It doesn't much matter what the status of any of the 'girls' here is.

And I'm actually not going to even start on the 'fuck trophy' thing because that is just really dumb.  I'm sure there are other bros around who think it is funny, and that's fine.  I just don't want you to specifically refer to my child in that way.  Which you didn't there, so that's that.  I suppose what I'm saying is, if you can't use the word baby, son, child, then don't refer to my kid in any way.  I take some of the blame there, because I brought him up.  As we parents tend to do.  We will all be more considerate in the future.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 8, 2012 - 6:35am

*crickets*

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 8, 2012 - 7:23am

Yes, I have that sort of skill in life.  I summon crickets. 

postpomo's picture
postpomo from Canada is reading words words words February 8, 2012 - 8:21am

it is a ridiculous statements thread after all...

wait... this isn't a dating site?

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 8, 2012 - 9:11am

Somebody should tell Alien.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 8, 2012 - 11:54am

To all the women with babies, children, sons, or daughters I apologize for my use words that offended. I overstepped my bounds and assumed that we could joke and not get offended by light hearted banter and questions. I guess that is one of the major problems with the internet, you just never know how people will respond to different subjects.

I know parents, good parents, will fight teeth and nail to protect their children. I wasn't attempting to make this a dating site. Never even asked about that of a single person on here, because I just don't care. I was just asking a question with no malice or ulterior motives intended. I always forget that each of us has a past and certain things just rub us the wrong way no matter the intent.

You are correct, I do not want children. I was already married to a mother of one and cared for the child as if he were my own. God knows the father wasn't going to. But who really cares about that.

As for my phrasing for babies, children, sons, daughters, adolescents, juveniles, toddlers, the wee little ones, my pride and joy, etc. I thought I could use my literary license here.

Once again I apologize, it will not happen again. I will keep my comments to myself and only discuss what I joined on this site for, writing.

Very respectfully,

Jose F. Diaz

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 8, 2012 - 11:54am

I just felt a little bit of the joy drain from my heart.  Winter blows.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 8, 2012 - 12:09pm

Oh good Lord.  Don't get all wounded or anything.  You were not useing your "literary license here" - we all know what you were doing - but I like how you tried to really elevate it there. 

Don't be dramatic about it.  No one other than me thought it was uncool, so I wouldn't really concern yourself with it.  I just laid out a ground rule for me specifically. 

Be cool, bro. 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 8, 2012 - 12:10pm

Avery, now you need to go over to his house and make sure he didn't take all the pills.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 8, 2012 - 12:12pm

If he did - can that be my secret? 

Brandon's picture
Brandon from KCMO is reading Made to Break February 8, 2012 - 12:13pm

Avery.  You.  Me.  Applebee's.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 8, 2012 - 12:15pm

If you want it to be.  But I think that would look bad if it ever went to court.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 8, 2012 - 12:17pm

@brandon - Fiesta lime chicken here I come!

@Utah - I was never here.

 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 8, 2012 - 12:26pm

I have no morals.  People shouldn't take me so seriously. 

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 8, 2012 - 12:27pm

I'm not wounded Avery, I just prefer to not rock the boat. The question wasn't literary, my choice of words was. The question was just inquistive. As for not being dramatic, that is what I do. Everything should be enahnced if we have the opportunity, make mountains of mole hills.

Good thing I don't write childrens novels. That would be awkward.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 8, 2012 - 12:31pm

lit·er·ar·y   

adjective
1. pertaining to or of the nature of books and writings, especially those classed as literature: literary history.
2. pertaining to authorship: literary style.
3. versed in or acquainted with literature; well-read.
4. engaged in or having the profession of literature or writing: a literary man.
5. characterized by an excessive or affected display of learning; stilted; pedantic.
 

Yes, I see your point.  That last definition for sure. 

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 8, 2012 - 12:44pm

Artistic licence (also known as dramatic license, historical license, poetic license, narrative license, licentia poetica, or simply license) is a colloquial term, sometimes euphemism, used to denote the distortion of fact, alteration of the conventions of grammar or language, or rewording of pre-existing text made by an artist to improve a piece of art.

Wrong wording, Live and learn.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. February 8, 2012 - 12:59pm

The crickets are back.

Let us just stick to me making offensive comments about how gay marines are.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. February 8, 2012 - 1:00pm

Oops I mean navy guys. Ever since the village people.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 8, 2012 - 1:01pm

Always the obvious with you Alien.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. February 8, 2012 - 1:02pm

One of the funniest things a guy ever told me was, if it happens underwater its not gay.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. February 8, 2012 - 1:03pm

Oh Joey, can I call you my virtual fuckpuppet?

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 8, 2012 - 1:03pm

That just makes me think of "Guts".  And nothing gay about that.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. February 8, 2012 - 1:06pm

Ouch. Corn.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 8, 2012 - 1:06pm

Alien, I don't think I could stop you if I tried.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 8, 2012 - 1:07pm

When I worked at the movie theatres this lady ordered a large soda. I guess I was pouring it wrong becase she said:

"Haven't you ever poured beer before?"

"I said no."

I was seventeen.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. February 8, 2012 - 1:12pm

Hahaha.

Just to fuck with a movie theater guy once when I was unmedicated, I tasted my soda then I slammed my fist on the counter and shouted, "This doesn't taste like God!!!" He was so scared lol

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 8, 2012 - 1:16pm

When I worked at Taco Bell a guy in the drive thru told me the burrito I made him was the "weakest burrito" he had ever seen.  It was shameful.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 8, 2012 - 1:18pm

Hahahaha poor guy.

Yeah working in movie theatres is the worst. I worked at the busiest one in the city. There was another theatre (from the same company) which was smaller. It was a few blocks away. They would find condoms all over the floor. Sometimes you would have bags full of trash that you needed to take to the compactor. They were such shitty bags that they would tear easily.

Let's just say there were times the bags would tear and I'd be covered in stale soda, coffee, popcorn, and who knows what else.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. February 8, 2012 - 1:19pm

You should have just made him a huge one dripping with dehydrated beans and said, enjoy the diarrhea.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. February 8, 2012 - 1:21pm

@panda--just admit it, you got spunk on your shoes.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 8, 2012 - 1:24pm

When I worked at Arby's I couldn't get this woman's coupon to ring up properly and she said, "How stupid are you?"  I literally cried.

Over time - I've built up a pretty thick skin for stuff like that.  Now, when people say "How stupid are you?" I don't cry.  Yes, part of my soul dies.  But you know, who needs that anyway?

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 8, 2012 - 1:24pm

I try to think I didn't. :(

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 8, 2012 - 1:26pm

You should have "accidently" torn the coupon.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. February 8, 2012 - 1:35pm

I would have told her, "I may be stupid but your husband is cheating on you."

Profunda Saint-Sylvain's picture
Profunda Saint-... from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy Series February 8, 2012 - 1:36pm

I had a woman come through my till when I was a grocery store cashier, and I was going pretty quick, and apparently I charged her for Yukon Gold potatoes and not Russett potatoes. She quickly got aggravated and started straight up YELLING in my face about how I was the stupidest person she'd ever had to deal with and then said, and I quote: "Can't you even fucking READ?" As if these potatoes had some sort of secret huge block text printed on the sides of them that stated clearly which type of mis-shapen brown lumps they were. At that point I was so pissed off at her, I threw all her potatos on the ground and "accidentally" reset her entire bill, and then rang everything through as slow as I could.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 8, 2012 - 1:40pm

@Meat Seeker

You're my hero.

In my mind I would have beat her with the potatoes...it doesn't leave a mark.

postpomo's picture
postpomo from Canada is reading words words words February 8, 2012 - 1:42pm

Damn - I used to get so pissed in situations with abusive dillwads. Now I either laugh or ask them "what's wrong with you?"

It doesn't help the situation, but it makes me feel better.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. February 8, 2012 - 1:43pm

Customer service makes you realize what greedy, self entitled fucks people can be. Especially American consumers.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 8, 2012 - 1:43pm

Well played, well played indeed.

Don't get pissy with the guy doing your STD workup. It just may be a more painful experience then it actually has to be. Just saying.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. February 8, 2012 - 1:44pm

Who are you talking to, JD?

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 8, 2012 - 1:47pm

I just jumped in the conversation. Its what I do. I figured it fitting for the thread.

aliensoul77's picture
aliensoul77 from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall. February 8, 2012 - 1:49pm

Oh, has the STD thing happened to you?

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 8, 2012 - 1:50pm

Hey guys!  I just totally won a petty Facebook argument with my mother in law without saying a word!  Today, I am a winner.

PandaMask's picture
PandaMask from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human February 8, 2012 - 1:54pm

I agree Aliensoul. After that theatre job I worked at Universal Citywalk. The American tourists were the worst. I remember this one lady wanted to buy some ottoman from our display. She demanded we call up corporate or whoever, anyone who could sell her the damn pink thing (it was a Barbie display).

All the other tourists were great and nice. Especially the Japanese. They would take pictures of random stuff and would come in dressed like they were from some cyberpunk film.

I'm not being sterotypical or "racist". This is just stuff I witnessed.

Anyways I'm ranting...

JameseyLefebure's picture
JameseyLefebure from Liverpool, Uk is reading The Gunslinger- Stephen King February 8, 2012 - 1:56pm

When customers annoy me they get pennies.

Every single bit of change in pennies and if I dont ve enough - 5ps and 10ps and a blank stare as I say "I haven't had a chance to go to the bank yet. *cough* sorry."

I am having to seriously reconsider my job in retail.

Also @Alien -

If it's in water - its SO not gay. :P

Profunda Saint-Sylvain's picture
Profunda Saint-... from Calgary, AB is reading Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy Series February 8, 2012 - 2:11pm

@panda - I would have too, but it was my third day, I usually save my assault/battery reactions until the boss knows me well enough to look the other way...

Another example, I used to work in a Zellers Diner (I don't know if you have Zellers outside Canada, I would wager no...) I had a woman with a bunch of bratty little children with her, the kind who are not above taking off their own diapers and leaving them under the tables, but that's a tangent I don't feel like going down right now. Anyway, Chickie orders a basket of chicken fingers. Easy. Come back in a few minutes with said basket of chicken fingers, hand it to her.
"What is this?"
"Um, it's the basket of chicken fingers you orderd."
"Yes, but why is it in a BASKET?"
"Because... it's a basket of chicken fingers"
"But that is disgusting. Why would anyone eat out of a BASKET? Do you even know how FILTHY this probably is?" (Meanwhile her 4 kids are picking their noses and licking the booth).
"Ma'am, it's a metal basket. It goes through the dishwasher like anything else. It's also lined with NEW never before eaten off of parchment paper."
"Well I hope you don't expect me to EAT out of this disgusting basket."
"Do you want me to bring you a plate?"
"No, I want you to go back into the kitchen and get me some NEW chicken fingers that aren't FILTHY from this DISGUSTING BASKET."
"I'm not going to do that, ma'am. You clearly ordered a BASKET of chicken fingers. Did you expect it was going to come on a gold platter? You're in a greasy diner. Think about it."
I walked back to the kitchen, sans basket of chicken fingers to vent to one of the cooks, and then I realized Chickie was like two steps behind me, muttering and flailing her hands around. I turned around and asked her why she was following me, she kept going on about the 'disgusting' state of the basket, and I just lost my shit. I was standing where all the dirty dishes go, and I said:
"Do you want to know what a DIRTY basket looks like?" and I took a plastic bin full of disgusting old dishes and threw it at her.
The look on her face was priceless. I am pretty sure she went home and bathed in hand sanitizer, while her spawn probably ate gum off each others' shoes.
I didn't get fired, either. The world was a different place in those days.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 8, 2012 - 2:17pm

I want some chicken fingers now.

Also, I don't want to bore you with the whole story, but it ended with me saying, "I got yer Giant right here, buddy!"  Proud moments.