The first full year of LitReactor is drawing to a close, and I thought, what better way to commemorate that than with being very very creepy and giving you some “best of” moments from the picture threads as well as the I’m Alive threads!
But also…you still must answer my questions (and there are MORE THAN EVER THIS TIME!!!). In case you’re new – this is the best thread in the history of the world. It’s where you get to know people, chat a bit, answer invasive questions, and let us know you’re here, you’re reading, and you are not dead.
1. Are you Alive?
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month?
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? (points if you get my SNL reference)
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk.
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten?
6. How do you take your coffee?
7. What do you like about yourself?
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
9. Will you please buy me a present?
10. What movie do you want to watch?
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind?
12. What’s your shoe size?
13. Recommend a good song for me.
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament?
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed?
16. Can I borrow a quarter?
17. Have you told someone you love them today?
18. Do you want to hang out sometime?
19. I like your hat.
20. What’s the last book you recommended?
I’m ALIVE! Greatest Hits!!!
March – this was the first one! 38 people responded. My favorite question: If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food? My favorite answer to that came from Hetch: Because they LETTUCE!! Actually my answer was the best: Because rocks hurt your tummy. Drea loves the smell of rain on hot pavement. Everyone talked about Henry Rollins a lot except me. I said, “Well, if I'm going to randomly celebrate a Saint - I'd go with George. He got rid of all the dragons. I still have snakes, I don't have dragons.” I’m so witty. Frito’s hurt Manda Lynn’s mouth. Nikki Guerlain told us that, “i, myself am part saasquatch part jew part german part french.” Which was not a question I asked!
For fucks sake, really? With the picture? Don't you have payroll stuff to do?
1. Are you Alive? Yes. By several definitions.
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month? Jesus.
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? (points if you get my SNL reference) I plead the fifth.
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk. In college, if we got black out drunk, we called it time traveling. At one point, I went to a honky tonk bar, had the obligatory designated driver pitcher of beer and then finished off the night at a friend of mine Megan's house. I started the night in shorts. When I woke the next morning, I was at a bus stop across the mountain and wearing someone else's pants. I know this for several reasons, but most notably because they were pants and not shorts.
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten? I've normally been pleased with what I've gotten, so I haven't given scarcity a second thought.
6. How do you take your coffee? DAMMIT! How many questions are there!
7. What do you like about yourself? Lots. I'm smart, fun. Too much to name
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? No, but I wrote a story kind of like that. It was featured in Thunderdome Mag
9. Will you please buy me a present? No. Well, if you buy me a LR mug, maybe.
10. What movie do you want to watch? The new Batman, I have yet to see it, but it's On Demand next week.
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind? If I'm going on a date, yes. Tommy or Polo No. 9
12. What’s your shoe size? 11
13. Recommend a good song for me. Progress, MuteMath
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament? I don't have one. I don't really like holidays alot.
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed? No, see above.
16. Can I borrow a quarter? You'd have to drive here to get it, which sort of negates needing it.
17. Have you told someone you love them today? My Mom.
18. Do you want to hang out sometime? Sure.
19. I like your hat. I don't wear hats.
20. What’s the last book you recommended? Getting Down the Bones.
April – I asked about your favorite Easter candy. Covewriter has my favorite response, “Those eggs that are colorful and have a hard shell on the outside and soft white stuff in the middle.” I don’t know what those are.
May – I asked for bucket lists! Here are some favorites…
SparrowStark - Go to Turkey with Husband.
Nighty Nite - Visit every continent (Fuck yes Antarctica)
Profunda Saint… - See Norway.
Chris Davis - To watch a Red Sox game in every MLB stadium
Meredith 103 - Finish my novel
AlexHand - Meet a girl that likes me and likes drinking bourbon.
J.Dulouz - Swan dive from an 18th story balcony (that's the last thing)
Jacks Username - Threesome.
June – “No one told me there'd be a test.” – GaryP.
So many PETS!!!
July - I just realized I almost always ask you guys about food.
Who was alive?
Jeffrey Grant Barr - Despite my best efforts
Matt Attack – Perhaps
Utah – yes.
Michael J Riser - Yes, but trying to think like a corpse
J.Y. - Fyeah!
Jacks_username - Physically? Yes.
Dr. Guillotine - I'm being kept alive by a hamster running in a wheel.
Sound - Only because I'm on vacation. Five day weekend...WOOO!
SparrowStark - running on coffee and broken dreams
Sean of the dead - Depending on the definition, no, I don't believe that I am.
R.Moon - I have a pulse
Nighty Nite - When the stars are right.
Hector Acosta - Yes. Take that doctor's and your 'deadpool'
Bekanator - Getting redundant, hey?
Joe Day - Negative, I am a meat popsicle.
Roaring Jen - Getting healthier.
Voodoo_em - It would seem so.
Profunda Saint…-Seemingly so
Misskokamon - Yep. Unless this is Hell, which means I'm dead, and Hell isn't all that bad.
Flaminia - Yea, alive and kicking. Sort of an absconder lately, but I still love you! (Just working too much).
XYZY - This feels like a trick question... so I'll go with, B) Giraffe
Manda Lynn - most certainly
Taralara - very.
Averydoll – I made the thread didn’t I?
Stacy Kear - Yes, yes. Stop asking, it makes me examine my life and I'd rather not.
Chip - I don't feel alive.
Bret Gammons - At the time of answering this question, yes.
Tony Koval - Not sure. Having an existential crisis mixed with an overdose of too much pedantic, overbearing, faux intellectualism. Are any of us 'alive'?
Covewriter - Yes. Im coming back to life.
Grigori - This round of medical testing says maybe.
Strange Photon - Come over here and take my pulse - no, not there... lower.
Also a debate on “but would you really want to get "finger-blasted" for 27 hours straight?”
August – I asked if the questions were creepy. The resounding answer was that you guys are super weird and like telling me your secrets. When asked if he preferred cake or pie, only Renfield came up with the correct answer, which was ‘crab cake’.
September – None of you think your ring finger is longer than your middle finger, but you all feel good about telling me what kind of soap you use. I also put out an open call for someone – ANYONE – to mow my lawn. I had a few offer. NONE OF YOU DID. Jerks.
October – I was told that this month’s was lame. And there were not many ghost stories. Sorry for a lame month, guys! I’ll make it up to you next year! Best Halloween costume – KIRK!! - Serpentor.
Best Halloween costume –
KIRK!! - Serpentor.young sean of the dead! - Boba Fett
Bubba Feets?!
Loving those pet pics!
1. Are you Alive?
My pulse confirms it.
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month?
My husband on the 8th and my Grandmother on the 26th, who will be 100!
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? (points if you get my SNL reference)
It's happening tomorrow actually! Going to be meeting Neil Gaiman in Hartford, CT! He's doing an unscripted panel for the CT Forum & my hubby & I are going.
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk.
My cousin's wedding was open bar and I thought I'd be safe drinking red wine all night. Well, sixth glass was the charm...I laughed hysterically and uncontrollably for about 30 minutes on the ride home and, according to my husband, stopped on a dime and passed out. I'm easily amused when not intoxicated and you know what they say about alcohol intensifying personalities...
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten?
Nothing comes to mind. I'm a happy gal.
6. How do you take your coffee?
Light & sweet, just like me, and I drink it often.
7. What do you like about yourself?
My curly hair.
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Do you ask that of all your prey?
9. Will you please buy me a present?
Yes! What's your favorite color? Should I know that? Sorry. I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.
10. What movie do you want to watch?
Just bought Paranorman, so I'd like to watch that again.
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind?
I swear scented oil since most perfumes make me sneeze. It's Auric Blends & the scents are Egyptian Goddess & Lavender Dreams.
12. What’s your shoe size?
Er...my Chuck's are 5, but I think I'm about an 8 in other shoes.
13. Recommend a good song for me.
Marshmallow World by Los Straitjackets
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament?
Tough choice...either my Powerpuff Girls dreaming of Christmas sweets or one of my Wonder Woman ornaments.
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed?
I've thought about it, but nothing at the moment.
16. Can I borrow a quarter?
I'd have to bust into the piggy bank. I give all my change to my pixies.
17. Have you told someone you love them today?
Yes. Several someones.
18. Do you want to hang out sometime?
Anytime you want. I'll bake you a cake.
19. I like your hat.
Thanks. I got it for my birthday a few years ago.
20. What’s the last book you recommended?
A Newbery Halloween : A Dozen Scary Stories by Newbery Award-Winning Authors. I gave a few copies out for All Hallows Read this year.
I'm glad my white trash, I-just-woke-up picture showed up. I can't even remember why I took it.
1. Are you Alive? Alive enough to see through this pitiful attempt at convincing me you are all 'real people.'
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month? Lots, actually.
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? (points if you get my SNL reference) Um, a brand new calculator.
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk. One time I got so drunk I played a really good guitar solo.
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten? A fake lottery ticket.
6. How do you take your coffee? Just about every conceivable way besides frozen.
7. What do you like about yourself? My navel.
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? That's a song, isn't it?
9. Will you please buy me a present? It's under your gascap.
10. What movie do you want to watch? Pacific Rim.
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind? No.
12. What’s your shoe size? Depending on the brand: 12--13
13. Recommend a good song for me. Briar Path by ERAAS
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament? Silver orbs.
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed? No. Just the answers to these questions.
16. Can I borrow a quarter? Five nickels okay?
17. Have you told someone you love them today? No.
18. Do you want to hang out sometime? No.
19. I like your hat. We should totally hang out sometime.
20. What’s the last book you recommended? Can't remember.
It's happening tomorrow actually! Going to be meeting Neil Gaiman in Hartford, CT! He's doing an unscripted panel for the CT Forum & my hubby & I are going.
Wheeeeee Wonderwoman! We met him over the summer here in Charleston and he's SOOOOO nice!!
Wheeeeee Wonderwoman! We met him over the summer here in Charleston and he's SOOOOO nice!!
That's awesome! Tell me more!
Between submitting for WAR & going to the panel tomorrow, I'm so happy it's finally the weekend!
November – You listed what you were thankful for. Some were cool. Here they are:
Matt Attack - Lots. Dad's tumor is now just sitting still, better than growing. I have a great family, lots of friends, a good job, way too much to name. WAY too much
Stratton - I'm thankful to my 7th grade teacher who tought me how to type so quickly. It makes writing easier.
Stacy Kear - My girls and the guy I am using for sex to get over my ex. Very, very thankful.
PandaMask - Nothing, because Amazon charges tax now.
SparrowStark - Mostly thankful for the support I've gotten to make this writing thing happen, and the various successes I've had this year.
Mess_Jess - My health. It was shocking a year ago, and it's been pretty awesome this year. My partner, even though we've been living in and out of tiny hotels and studios and been doing each other's heads in for the past couple of weeks. My family, even though they're on the other side of the world.
Sean of the dead - I'm thankful for coincidences and weekends. And Justine Bateman. And Tooth Paste.
Boone Spaulding - My health, love (the ability to give as well as to receive), and hope.
Emma - I'm thankful that despite the fact that I am utterly broke and have been depression's personal punching bag for the last several months, I'm pretty fucking lucky to be able to hang out with my dogs and write (or not write) all day. I'm physically healthy, I have food, and I have a small but goddamn amazing group of friends and family who keep me propped up when I start to fall over.
Averydoll - I'm thankful...that the good this year actually managed to outweigh the bad. Which, if you know much about the year I've had, is pretty spectacular.
ConMan - Answered prayers.
Josh - That aside from the lack of gas, the hurricane had little effect on my neighborhood.
Closure - Sometimes I like to just be thankful for each breath I take. Each sunrise. Also, heating up cookie dough and drizzling it over icecream.
Go easy on me...it's my first time.
1. Are you Alive? Yes, but I haz a little cold and feel yucky.
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month? Not for me, but my brother and mom.
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? (points if you get my SNL reference) Is peace on earth too trite? If so, a new hoodie would be nice.
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk. I don't remember WHY I was so drunk, but I was. I had just moved in with my then-boyfriend/now husband, and when we went to bed, the room wouldnt' stop spinning. I didn't like how I felt when I closed my eyes, so to keep myself awake and amused, I relayed to Charles my own special version of The Lord of the Rings trilogy. Went something like this..."Frodo was a hobbit who lived in Middle Earth. One day Gandalf came to find him to tell him he needed to hide the ring...and then they ran from the Ringwraits and it was Scary and Intense...and then this happened and it was Scary and Intense." To this day, Scary and Intense is a catch-phrase in my house.
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten? Nothing comes to mind. Is that weird?
6. How do you take your coffee? A little sugar, a LOT of half-and-half.
7. What do you like about yourself? I like to laugh a lot, and I think I'm usally a good mom. And I'm snuggly.
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? All the time.
9. Will you please buy me a present? Sure, if it's under $10 and can be ordered from Amazon and you send me your address.
10. What movie do you want to watch? ALL the movies - I feel way behind. Right now, though - it's time for my annual holiday viewing of Love Actually.
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind? I work in a shared office with a lot of smelly dudes. To combat this lovely fact, I wear Clinique Happy to work.
12. What’s your shoe size? 8.5-ish - my feet grew after I had my kid. So strange...
13. Recommend a good song for me. OK, my daugheter and I LOVE singing Ho Hey by The Lumineers to each other. The chorus goes, "I belong to you, you belong to me, you're my sweetHEART!"
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament? There's this little doll I've had since I was a baby. She has white hair and a red bow and a denim dress.
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed? Nah, not as of yet.
16. Can I borrow a quarter? Sure.
17. Have you told someone you love them today? Yep. Husband and child before they left for school/work.
18. Do you want to hang out sometime? That'd be great!
19. I like your hat. I like yours too.
20. What’s the last book you recommended? Locke & Key by Joe Hill and Gabriel Rodriguez. LOVE it.
1. Are you Alive? - That's what the doctor told me.
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month? - Nope
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? (points if you get my SNL reference) - If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.
If I had two wishes that I could wish for this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace.. and the second would be for $30 million a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account.
You know, if I had three wishes that I could make this holiday season, first, of course, would be for all the children to get together and sing.. the second would be for the $30 million every month to me.. and the third would be for all encompassing power over every living being thing in the entire universe.
And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, first would be the crap about the kids.. second would be for the $30 million.. the third would be for all the power.. and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year for an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought about slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina somebody, I can't think of her name, of course my lovely wife could come, too. She's behind me 100% on this, I guarantee you.
Wait a minute, maybe that sex thing should be the first wish! So, if I made that the first wish, because, you know, it could all go boom tomorrow, and then what have you got? No, no.. the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. No, no, who am I kidding! I mean, theyu're not gonna be able to get all those kids together! I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible! It's mroe trouble than it's worth! So, we reorganize: here we go. First, the sex - we go with that; second, the money. No! We go with the power second, then the money, and then the kids. Oh, wait, oh geez! I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay.. revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in Hell! That would be the fourth wish! And of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of peace and harmony. Thank you, everybody.
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk. - Ativan and alcohol do not mix well. Had a ten minute conversation with a cop and he told the girl I was with (who was pissed and sitting on the curb of a grocery store parking lot) that I was fine and that she should just go with me. She refused. I have no recollection of this.
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten? - A Lit Reactor t-shirt
6. How do you take your coffee? - Orally
7. What do you like about yourself? - My sarcastic humor
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? - No, but I think one time when I was drunk (again, another incident I don't recall) I sold my sould to him. Have no idea what I sold it for, though.
9. Will you please buy me a present? - Have you been good this year?
10. What movie do you want to watch? - Pulp Fiction re-realease in the theatre's on Dec. 6th
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind? - Obsession for men
12. What’s your shoe size? - 8.5
13. Recommend a good song for me. - In Circles by Sunny Day Real Estate
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament? - Can't remember.
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed? - No
16. Can I borrow a quarter? - Half the people on here are from Kentucky. I'm sure they'll give you one.
17. Have you told someone you love them today? - Actually, yes.
18. Do you want to hang out sometime? - I think we established a long time ago that we'd probably kill each other if we met in person.
19. I like your hat. - Thanks. It's a Steelers hat, but I'm not afraid to admit that without Ben and Troy, we suck.
20. What’s the last book you recommended? - Shit, I don't know. Probably something by Elmore Leonard.
1. Are you Alive? I made it!!
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month? Older sister turns 21 on the 17th, Dad turns 45 on Christmas, and my (actual) anniversary (as in, not that monthly bullshit kids my age measure their relationships by) is New Year's Eve.
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? I did not get your reference, but my boyfriend would. I'd wish that somehow, I could magically understand what "barriers" are and would stop telling everyone anything that pops into my mind.
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk. I was dressed like Leela from Futurama, rolling on my sister's floor, screaming "I have cat like reflexes!" while her boyfriend threw ping pong balls at me. We were supposed to be playing vodka pong. My sister was on the phone with my mom and she heard me, then thanked me later that weekend for being so responsible with alcohol.
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten? Good Christmas sex.
6. How do you take your coffee? As sugary and milky as I can without spilling the cup or making it sticky.
7. What do you like about yourself? That I don't have to study hard to get fantastic grades.
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? I don't get your reference.
9. Will you please buy me a present? If you send me cash.
10. What movie do you want to watch? Pulp Fiction re-realease in the theatre's on Dec. 6th (I stole this from Rian because I don't watch movies and my boyfriend is trying to get me to go to this)
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind? Stale cigarettes and gasoline.
12. What’s your shoe size? 10.
13. Recommend a good song for me.
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament? The Thomas Kincaid ones my mom bought me when she was pregnant with me. She liked to plan ahead.
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed? No.
16. Can I borrow a quarter? No.
17. Have you told someone you love them today? Three people.
18. Do you want to hang out sometime? If you send me cash.
19. I like your hat. Thanks, I crocheted it. And stole it back from my boyfriend.
20. What’s the last book you recommended? I try to get my boyfriend to read A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius every day.
I love the "best of" stuff! Cool!
1. Are you Alive? Yup.
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month? It's the anniversary of me joining (then6yrs later, leaving) the USMC. I believe it's also HusBANG's anniversary of his citizenship. He's not a celebrator so I get confused.
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? (points if you get my SNL reference) Uhhh...would a million dollars be cliche?
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk. I'm saving my best ones for the Books And Booze ebook, but... an oldie but a goodie people who know me call "My Bum Story". When I lived in Baltimore, I got invited to a punk show at a bar I had never been to before. I just assumed there would be cabs around where the bar was because that's how the city was. WELL. The bar was actually in the legal district and used to be a hang out for lawyers after court. The entire area was deserted but for a Subway sandwich shop and this bar. So, I got pretty tipped and felt weird about getting a ride from the guy who had invited me because I didn't know him very well. I made the drunken decision to just start walking toward the Inner Harbor because that's where all the nightlife was.
This group of men on the other side of the street starts cat calling me and then crosses the street and is gaining on me. About this time I can see the Larry Flint Hustler club about 3 blocks away so I start walking faster. They start walking faster. They're asking me if I want their dick in me--no shit. Actual rape threats are being made. At this point in my city life, I had still not learned how to ignore bums, and as I am walking as fast as I can without panicking, I see a bum on a stoop stand up like he's going to ask me for money. My thought process goes something like "if I stop to tell him no, these guys are going to catch me, what do I do?" So I pulled a tenner out of my pocket and told him "Those men are following me, here's ten bucks if you walk me to that cab."
So he takes the ten and starts shouting at the top of his lungs "THIS IS THE FUCKING COOLEST CHICK! NOBODY BETTER FUCK WITH THIS CHICK! SHE IS FUCKING COOL, MAN!" We cross the street to the cab, and he gets the door for me and bows like a limo driver. We parted ways and the next day all my friends in the suburbs told me how "crazy" I was to trust the bum!
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten? A chia pet. No joke.
6. How do you take your coffee? With a splash of milk and in large quantities.
7. What do you like about yourself? basically everything. I'm pretty awesome. I'd do me.
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? Once, but it doesn't count because I was drunk.
9. Will you please buy me a present? I actually have one for you. Bet you weren't expecting that.
10. What movie do you want to watch? Ambraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. I rented it on iTunes and couldn't get it to play.
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind? I wear "Falling In Love" by Philosophy or "In Your Dreams" by Victoria's Secret PINK.
12. What’s your shoe size? 7
13. Recommend a good song for me. The Bed Song by Amanda Palmer
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament? I have an Its A Wonderful Life ornament that is a pair of wings with a bell on them.
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed? nope.
16. Can I borrow a quarter? It would cost me more than a quarter to send you a quarter, so no.
17. Have you told someone you love them today? Two people, actually.
18. Do you want to hang out sometime? Yes, let's do it. How about this summer?
19. I like your hat. I like my hat, too. I need to dig it out of the winter stuff in the garage, but it's pretty awesome.
20. What’s the last book you recommended? Uhm. I guess I sort of recommended Life Of Pi to someone, although I've never read it, because they were raving about the movie and didn't know it was a book.
1. Are you Alive? Mostly.
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month? Nope.
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? I wish I had an easier time learning other languages.
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk. I was alone and happily drunken reading in a cafe and a Dudebro would not leave me alone. Since he wanted to talk I very explictly explained emetophilia to him and asked how his gag reflax was. I continued the conversation by asking him if he a.) liked anal and b.) if he was a sloppy bottom because we'd have to stop at Rite Aid to pick up an enema because I didn't want him to have an accident on my shiny harness.
After about ten minutes of me explaining all the poop and vomit flavored things I wanted to do with him he finally left me alone so I could finish my book and drinks. I'm a lovely drunk and very into patiently explaining things to heterosexual Dudebros who can't take please leave me alone as a message to leave me alone.
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten? Life sized animatronic dinosaur.
6. How do you take your coffee? 20 oz Americano. One pump of vanilla. No cream.
7. What do you like about yourself? I am pretty amusing.
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? I always ask that of my prey.
9. Will you please buy me a present? Maybe.
10. What movie do you want to watch? I have the worst hankering to watch all of the Blade movies.
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind? I wear a lot of frou frou handmade oils and whatnot. Right now I'm wearing one called Cenobite by Mannaia Fragrances
12. What’s your shoe size? 7-7.5
13. Recommend a good song for me. Tea and Thorazine by Andrew Bird
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament? No.
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed? No.
16. Can I borrow a quarter? Sure.
17. Have you told someone you love them today? Yes about six people so far.
18. Do you want to hang out sometime? Sure I'll bring coffee.
19. I like your hat. Actually it's a head wrap but thank you.
20. What’s the last book you recommended?
The Waiting Room by Remittance Girl
1. Are you Alive? Yes! and "I feel nice, like sugar and spice"
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month? It's Jebus's b-day eh? Oh and my amazing second Mother (I'm such a mess I need more than one mother)
3.If you had just one wish? That I make it through the holidays without some major breakdown drama.
4.Drunk story. My Dad gave me a bottle of Jagermeister for my 21st birthday....and I forget the rest.
5.Gift that I have always wanted and have never gotten? World Peace? Nah, a diamond anything.
6. Coffee, Ok huge coffee cup vanilla flavored (pumpkin and cinnamon depending on the season) and French Vanilla creamer with five, yes I said five, blue packets. It's really a desert that I drink all the live long day and night.
7.What do you like about yourself? Really? I have pretty awesome legs.
8.Danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? Many, many times.
9.Will you please buy me a present? I send you my love, and NO you can not send it back! It's non exchangeable and nonrefundable.
10.What movie do you want to watch? Despite Anne Hathaway, Anne Hathawaying it up, I want to see Les Miserables.
11.Perfume? So many. I love Coach Poppy, Lovely, Sexy Little things Noir, Bombshell and new favorite Tresor Midnight Rose.
12. shoe size? 71/2
13.Recommend a good song? I am currently obsessed with Alicia Keys "Girl on Fire" The blue light version.
14.Christmas ornament. I have a little wooden pig with wings.
15.Christmas themed writing? No
16.Can I borrow a quarter? Only if you lend me a dollar.
17.Have you told someone that you love them today? Yes
18.Do you want to hang out with me sometime? St. Louis Baby!
19.I like your hat. Who wouldn't, it's a robot. Seriously, see last year's Christmas card. That is only if you are lucky enough to be my FB internet friend. haha
20.Last book I recommended? 100 Year's of Vicissitude.
This is a lovely little highlight reel. I feel like we're at a fancy ceremony.
1. Are you Alive?
And kicking.
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month?
When I was a little kid, I had a huge crush on this dude whose birthday was on the 4th. He was dreamy, but he grew up to be a chronic breeder, from what I hear.
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? (points if you get my SNL reference)
Money, power or women. ...Actually I'd probably be happy enough if I have time to drink the gin burning a hole in my freezer.
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk.
There was this one time I got obliterated alone and went to a fancy shopping mall in the middle of the day. I woke up on a bench, and was promptly dragged outside by security, which is when I realized my sweater was full of Hawkwind albums, which brought me much joy.
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten?
Free time.
6. How do you take your coffee?
I really prefer tea, but I crave black coffee a few days before I get a terrible throat infection.
7. What do you like about yourself?
My tits have great personalities.
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Only the horizontal bop.
9. Will you please buy me a present?
I like to think of my internet presence as present enough.
10. What movie do you want to watch?
ANYTHING WITH HILLARY DUFF!!!! Oops. That was meant to be private.
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind?
No. Chemical scents make me want to puke. I smear coconut oil all over myself though, so I guess I smell like a pina colada.
12. What’s your shoe size?
Sometimes 7, sometimes 8. My life is wild and crazy.
13. Recommend a good song for me.
Clowny Clown Clown - Crispin Hellion Glover
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament?
I have a chimney sweep that I am kind of in love with.
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed?
No. I'm not.
16. Can I borrow a quarter?
do you accept Interac E-Transfer?
17. Have you told someone you love them today?
Yep, l have a good little monkey.
18. Do you want to hang out sometime?
Ok, but I'm only into over-the-pants action on a first date. Unless you bring candy.
19. I like your hat.
Thanks, most people think my pope outfit is a little bit too much for a weekday.
20. What’s the last book you recommended?
I don't tell people what to do, I'm not really the pope.
1. Are you Alive? Apathetically. Ahedonistically.
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month? GF Dec. 12. Grandma Dec. 21. Mother Dec. 23. Bro-in-law Dec. 25. Parents' wedding anniversary Dec. 29.
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? Enough with this sh*t. I'm sick of it. Overdone - done to death - it's a Grinch-making, Ebenezer-Scrooge-creating clusterf*ck.
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk. I got to the dual-birthday party @ 10 p.m. after my work shift ended. I was thirsty from work, and I should have quenched that thirst with more than just alcohol but no. All alcohol. Pet a kitten in a pretty woman's lap, rubbing her thighs gratuitously as well. Tried to walk outside through a window. Last thing I drank before passing out was 1/3 of a fifth of vodka. Woke up @ 4 a.m. to piss, and with less fuss than the pissing smoothly vomited the one slice of birthday cake that I included with all that alcohol. Around 11 a.m., I got pulled over and ticketed for the first time in my life: improper lane usage - driving the wrong way on a two-lane divided highway. Cop didn't notice the hangover or that I'd been drinking. I was 16...great, great story.
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten? The Millennium Falcon.
6. How do you take your coffee? Like my women - strong. Hot. Sometimes requiring cream & sugar.
7. What do you like about yourself? This question always confounds me.
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? Yes. He's a hoofer at heart.
9. Will you please buy me a present? No. You can do that best. I'll make you a present.
10. What movie do you want to watch? Skyfall. GF made me watch Sinister. It was alright. Worst thing was spending so much time watching Ethan Hawke be all emo. It's getting as predictable as Joaquin Phoenix being all weepy.
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind? I don't always wear cologne, but when I do it is Jovan Musk for Men.
12. What’s your shoe size? 10 or 10 1/2. Wide.
13. Recommend a good song for me. "The End (Apocalypse Now version)" by The Doors. All the improvised-at-the-mike crap excised. Perfect.
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament? Vintage 1970s miniature disco balls, silver and gold.
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed? Not yet, but thinking of taking Dickens' lead and making it a horror story.
16. Can I borrow a quarter? I'm sure you can - but may you borrow a quarter - that's the question.
17. Have you told someone you love them today? Yes.
18. Do you want to hang out sometime? Yes.
19. I like your hat. Thanks. I think hats make the best toupees.
20. What’s the last book you recommended? Horns by Joe Hill. I recommended and recommended it, but finally I was in the middle of my third reading of it via my Kindle's text-to-speech (as I was washing the dishes) when the recommendee, my GF, got interested in the story. So I borrowed it from the library for her. She completely read it within 14 hours, and then felt the same frustration that I felt, as she recommended it to her daughter and a neighbor girl and was ignored the way she initially ignored me...(heehee - karma).
1. Are you Alive? - Quite so.
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month? - Quite the contrary.
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? (points if you get my SNL reference) - That some horrible heavy metal band would make a Christmas album and they'd play it on a non-stop loop at the store I work at and all the customers would go the fuck away.
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk. - One time I was drunk at this party at my friends' parents' house. There was a huge lineup for the bathroom and I was pretty much ready to piss my pants, so my friend told me that there was a spare bathroom downstairs. While I was in the spare bathroom downstairs, I ended up having to throw up, and I did so in the sink. Turns out that the sink was being repaired at the time, and the vomit just spilt out the drain and all over inside of the cabinet. I remember noticing it, but being too drunk to care. My friend was the one who had to clean it up, but nobody ever knew threw up in there. For years my friend blamed it on my other friend Misty.
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten? - Some kitschy deer figurines. I keep dropping hints at my husband to buy me some online but he never wants to buy them because he thinks unpractical gifts are useless.
6. How do you take your coffee? - Double Double but with Splenda instead of sugar (because diabetes), but Splenda doesn't actually measure like sugar, so it's more of a "Double Single". Only Canadians will understand any of that.
7. What do you like about yourself? - Most things. Some of those things I like more than others.
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? - What the fuck is "pale moonlight" anyway? Like partial moonlight because the moon isn't full?
9. Will you please buy me a present? - I make everybody shortbread cookies for Christmas. I probably have some lying around if you want them.
10. What movie do you want to watch? - Something with Michael Shannon in it.
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind? - I use Soap and Glory's "Mist You Madly". All their stuff is punny. That's why I like it.
12. What’s your shoe size? - 7.5, but sometimes an 8 if the label is cruel.
13. Recommend a good song for me. -
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament? - I've always wanted one of those kitschy ornament wreaths, but they're far too expensive and I'm far too lazy to make one.
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed? - I've always wanted to write a satirical short story version of "Baby, It's Cold Outside" where the guy is just some fucking perv who drugs the chick to date rape her. Every year I try to write it but I can never get it right.
16. Can I borrow a quarter? - I don't have any quarters.
17. Have you told someone you love them today? - Probably. My memory span is so short.
18. Do you want to hang out sometime? - I'm not paying for air fare.
19. I like your hat. - I'm not wearing a hat.
20. What’s the last book you recommended? - Nova Parade, but my friends are lame and never click my Facebook links.
6. How do you take your coffee? - Double Double but with Splenda instead of sugar (because diabetes), but Splenda doesn't actually measure like sugar, so it's more of a "Double Single". Only Canadians will understand any of that.
I once saw a National Geographic about the more civilized Candian peoples, so I get it.
Candian
1. Are you Alive?
Only out of spite.
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month?
The anniversary of the Catholic Church changing the celebration of Jesus' birth to be closer to the birth of the Sun God...
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? (points if you get my SNL reference)
Sorry, no references got here. But I would like to have enough time away from my husband (god love him) to finish the current draft of my novel.
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk.
One time, I got really drunk and I started hitting on this one girl so bad that her grunt boyfriend threatened to punch me in the face. *shrug* It happens.
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten?
When I was a little girl, all I wanted for Christmas was anti-gravity boots.
6. How do you take your coffee?
Just how I take my women--ground up and in the freezer. Er...black and bitter as fuck? How about hot, dark, and with a spoon in them? (props to those who get my Eddy Izzard quote)
7. What do you like about yourself?
I'm the only one I know who's humor has gone irreperably down the rabbit hole.
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
It depends on who you ask. I'd say he was just one of the older, misunderstood Gods.
9. Will you please buy me a present?
Maybe, if I ever get one of my pieces accepted
10. What movie do you want to watch?
"Surf Ninjas" FTW
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind?
Rarely. When I do, though, it's Amy Brown's Firedance.
12. What’s your shoe size?
It used to be 8, but since I started my "chemo" treatments, it's gone up to 9! (and I grew 2 1/2 inches taller!--too bad my bust size didn't increase.)
13. Recommend a good song for me.
It depends on what you wanna do. Dance? "Immigradiana" by Gogol Bordello. Dance and/or write? "Caterpillar" or "Beauty Beats" by Beats Antique. Make a grand entrance? "Carmina Burana" by Carl Orff
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament?
My tree topper from my Navy days: An empty fifth of vodka
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed?
Not currently, and I don't plan to--but one never knows...
16. Can I borrow a quarter?
Sure!
17. Have you told someone you love them today?
Yes! Multiple times--my husband and my kitty (and no, that's not a euphemism)
18. Do you want to hang out sometime?
For a little while; I can only tolerate others in small doses, and I tend to bite.
19. I like your hat.
The bowler hat or my fedora?
20. What’s the last book you recommended?
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter--though the movie was shit.
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed? - I've always wanted to write a satirical short story version of "Baby, It's Cold Outside" where the guy is just some fucking perv who drugs the chick to date rape her. Every year I try to write it but I can never get it right.
Um...is that because that's *already* what it's about?
1. Are you Alive? You said 'Yes', survey said: 17. 'Something clever' was the number one answer.
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month? I'm sure there are. Oh, and my brother... crap, better call him.
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? (points if you get my SNL Steve Martin reference) "Ho ho ho, Baby Jesus. And what would you like for Christmas?" "Peace on earth and goodwill towards men." "Well, how about a clockwork train?" "Oh, yes, that's much better."
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk. I don't know... most of my "one time when I was drunk" stories involve either me falling down the stairs that I told them were crooked (but I finally got them to go out there and fix the bastards, and I never drunkenly fell down them again,) or chasing one of the naked girls back into the bedroom. And no one really wants to hear any of that...
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten? Nope, I got it. Did you read my last answer? They fixed the damn stairs, I was right, they were crooked. Vindication, bitches. Best gift ever!
6. How do you take your coffee? Any way I can get it, but usually ice cold and pitch black like <insert forum member's name here>'s heart.
7. What do you like about yourself? I'm adaptable.
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? No. Fucker stood me up.
9. Will you please buy me a present? I'll buy it. But I'm not sending it, you gotta come get it.
10. What movie do you want to watch? Movies? God, they still make those? I thought it was all three minute youtube videos now. Crap, I've got some catching up to do. But just for the cast, I want to see Seven Psychopaths.
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind? Eau du Moi, but you know, not the cheap kind.
12. What’s your shoe size? I wear a medium in clown. 9 or 9 1/2 other.
13. Recommend a good song for me. I don't know about "for" you, but here's a good one:
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament? A violin music box ornament, it played bach, air on g I think
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed? That really depends on the prompts you give, doesn't it?
16. Can I borrow a quarter? It'll have to be a check. Send me a S.A.S.E. and I send you 25¢
17. Have you told someone you love them today? No... it apparently came off as creepy the last time I did it. They almost threw me off the train.
18. Do you want to hang out sometime? Actually, I think that would be a blast.
19. I like your hat. Thank you, it's new. I just stole it from the Phantom of the Opera, (Now if I were drunk, that'd have been a good "once when I was drunk" story..." All my best stories are when I was sober... Although, I guess there's one time I was drunk at a conference and some very good writers got me to drink bacon vodka. It was awful. I'm not going to name names... but my drinking liver is glad one of them lost in the first round of War2, and so's my writing liver. *shifty eyes*)
20. What’s the last book you recommended? I've recommended The Drenai Saga by David Gemmell to anyone who has finished the George R. R. Martin books and is waiting for the next one to come out sometime in 20X6, and I'll do it again.
1. Are you Alive? hell yes!
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month? you and me kid...well, and my dad.
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? (points if you get my SNL reference) if i was a gay bee, would you love me?
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk. I don't drink silly
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten? my grandpa used to threaten me with coal, until i started asking for coal for christmas. i never did get it.
6. How do you take your coffee? black and strong
7. What do you like about yourself? premature gray vs premature bald
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? This town message board needs an enema!!
9. Will you please buy me a present? check your bookshelf lady,
10. What movie do you want to watch? Like all Americans, I just want to watch Scary Movie over and over again
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind? i go all-natural baby...no deodorant either
12. What’s your shoe size? ya know what they say about guys with big feet...
13. Recommend a good song for me. these dudes are some of my best friends, and also (separately) one of my favorite bands
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament? it was one from national lampoons christmas vacation, but this year I got a new ornament :)
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed? no
16. Can I borrow a quarter? check under your couch
17. Have you told someone you love them today? I believe so, yes
18. Do you want to hang out sometime? maybe
19. I like your hat. oh, this camoflauged Notre Dame Fighting Irish hat? thanks
20. What’s the last book you recommended? Gordon Highland's Flashover (send bonus points this way, thank you)
@Xyzy, seriously, get in a car/on a bus/in a cab/on the back of a fast mule and go to the nearest theatre ASAP. Seven Psychopaths was SO. FUCKING. AWESOME. The cast was incredible, yes, but it was also the exact right mix of hilariousness and violence. I've never been more satisfied in a public place.
1. Are you Alive? YES. Sorry.
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month? yes
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? (points if you get my SNL reference) I don't care about the points, I would just like a way to embed pictures directly from iphoto.
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk. You'll have to get me drunk first.
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten? YOU CAN'T BUY MY LOVE.
6. How do you take your coffee? Black.
7. What do you like about yourself? The fact that I like myself.
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? Yes, but I didn't inhale.
9. Will you please buy me a present? Send me your address for real.
10. What movie do you want to watch? Skyfall.
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind? Oui. Numero Cinq.
12. What’s your shoe size? 39
13. Recommend a good song for me. This is a great responsibility; give me a genre, please.
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament? I buy my son a new ornament every year; this year I chose a key because he was locked out of the house for 45 minutes in a blizzard and didn't go to any neighbours.
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed? Besides the stack of handwritten cards I send every year? No.
16. Can I borrow a quarter? I only have dime bags.
17. Have you told someone you love them today? yes.
18. Do you want to hang out sometime? Yes!
19. I like your hat. Thanks! It's my hangover beret.
20. What’s the last book you recommended? If I lose my WAR round with JR (whenver that is) I will send him architectures of possibility, by lance olsen and trevor dodge. If I win, he is sending me a LitReactor t-shirt. Losers are winners too, people.
1. Are you Alive? YES.
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month? NO.
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? I want my lady wrapped with just a red ribbon bow.
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk. I don't drink, so I can never be drunk.
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten? See #3 for answer.
6. How do you take your coffee? I don't drink coffee.
7. What do you like about yourself? Everything, I have all the right parts.
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? No, clumsy dancer.
9. Will you please buy me a present? No, that would require a mailing address. PM me if you really want a real physical present like a gift card or something.
10. What movie do you want to watch? A movie directed by me.
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind? Nope.
12. What’s your shoe size? Eight and a half...to nine...I have wide feet.
13. Recommend a good song for me. "Feliz Navidad!"
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament? Poofy origami stars.
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed? Nope.
16. Can I borrow a quarter? Yes. PM me your mailing address. It's illegal to send cash, but I'll look the other way.
17. Have you told someone you love them today? Not today, but the other day.
18. Do you want to hang out sometime? No. You're too weird for me.
19. I like your hat. Thank you. It covers up the bedhead.
20. What’s the last book you recommended? The Secret Life of Lobsters. That can be your Christmas gift!
I just realized the annicersaries I posted are in January. I don't know what's going on or what day it is, apparently.
1. Are you Alive? You betcha!!
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month? ME!! ME!!! MINE!!!
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? (points if you get my SNL reference) I wish for a magic something or other to come get all my chores done.
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk. One time I fell out of a booth in a restaurant because I'd had too many delicious rum drinks. I was singing "A pirate's life for me" and no one thought it was funny except for me.
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten? I always plan these perfect holidays and they never end up working out the way I plan them. Such is life. But I'd like things to go the way I plan once.
6. How do you take your coffee? With a splash of coffee creamer.
7. What do you like about yourself? I like that I'm over the need to be cool and I can just like whatever I want without feeling dumb.
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? I'm not much of a dancer.
9. Will you please buy me a present? That seems selfish
10. What movie do you want to watch? WHITE CHRISTMAS!! I just need to make time to do it.
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind? It makes me sneeze, so I don't. I like it on other people for a second, then the sneezing. I just smell like soap and shampoo. Or shame and regret.
12. What’s your shoe size? ...I'm a little sensitive about it.
13. Recommend a good song for me. You know what you want to hear...
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament? I have a few. I'm the type that wants to mark everything with a new ornament.
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed? No. I did that once in high school and they made me talk to a counselor.
16. Can I borrow a quarter? Sure, there are a few on the bathroom sink.
17. Have you told someone you love them today? Actually no, not yet.
18. Do you want to hang out sometime? Yeah, I'm really fun.
19. I like your hat. I still can't find my hat.
20. What’s the last book you recommended? I'm not sure. I'm a walking book recommendation.
1. Are you Alive? I guess.
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month? My cat, Hazel Hassenfrau will be 9 on the 28th.
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? (points if you get my SNL reference) Don't get the reference, but I'd wish for Israel to get its head out of its ass and realize it treats Palestinians just like the Nazis treated European Jews in the late 20s through late 30s. A more realistic wish would be that I pass my statistics class with better than a B, and the girl who sits beside me will stop wearing low-cut tops and using the class as a pretense to flirt with me.
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk. I've never been drunk, not for lack of trying but because my body burns through alcohol and pills like an inferno, so it is cost-prohibitive for me to even try to get drunk. I've been wasted on painkillers before, however, and a good story about that involves me passing out at the gym and this really hot paramedic stayed with me at the ER through my stomach pumping and the Narcan.
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten? I've always wanted a monkey.
6. How do you take your coffee? Hate drinking coffee, but used to drink it daily when I was a teacher. I took it black, no sugar.
7. What do you like about yourself? I ain't not no dummy!
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? No, but I'm convinced that a revolution without dancing is a revolution not worth having.
9. Will you please buy me a present? I'm broke as fuck, but I'll draw you a picture.
10. What movie do you want to watch? Man of Steel
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind? I never wear cologne, but have found a mix of a deodorant stick and a specific scent of AXE that seems to drive some girls nuts and they swear I have the best cologne ever. I like to think it's just my animal magnetism, but it's more likely that they're off their meds.
12. What’s your shoe size? Despite only being 5'5'', my shoe size is 13.5, and this makes shoe salespeople laugh in my face till they look at my feet. I think I look like a duck.
13. Recommend a good song for me. Toxicity, by System of a Down. Proof that Armenians kick ass and write musical poetry, and aren't just braindead, slutty, attention-whoring sacks of Kardashit.
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament? This little green and red sled made from popsicle sticks that the nurses in the hospital made for me when I was a little boy.
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed? In a way... I'm finishing up an essay in my Religion and Cultures class about how all major religions are a crock of delusional bullshit, and that marketing firms take advantage of religious people's delusions through holiday ad campaigns.
16. Can I borrow a quarter? Sure. I always keep a couple in my pocket. Never know when someone needs one, and I like being the stranger who saves the day with a quarter.
17. Have you told someone you love them today? My woman, my cat, and the tv show, Dexter.
18. Do you want to hang out sometime? I'd have no problem with that, but based on our exchanges via the site, I am pretty sure you'd have no interest in my company.
19. I like your hat. If you know where it is, I'd give you many quarters. I haven't seen it in months.
20. What’s the last book you recommended? Outer Dark, by Cormac McCarthy.
19. I like your hat.
"Yeah, it’s cool, but I’m not in love with it.”
Seven Psychopaths was SO. FUCKING. AWESOME.
I might go see this. People always told me to see In Bruges.
That hat belongs to Macho Man Randy Savage. Ohhhhh, yeah. RIP.
1. Are you Alive?
Pretty silly to expect a response otherwise.
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month?
My parents' anniversary in on the 26th. Mercifully, November was my worst bday month, so at least I get a reprieve.
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? (points if you get my SNL reference)
To get your SNL reference.
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk.
I made a lewd joke at a table full of Christians--one of those a-jew-a-muslim-and-christian-walk-into-a-bar jobs. Only I had no idea they were serious Christians. The husband of the hostess (my friend, and NOT a religious man) laughed his ass off from the kitchen, and somehow that made it worse, and yet better. I wish I could remember the joke, but it was way back in college. And I was drunk.
Does having sex in a porto-potty during the Stone Temple Pilots set at a KROK Winnie-Roast while buzzed count?
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten?
A beautiful naked woman wearing nothing but a bright holiday ribbon? Seriously, never really wanted anything material for xmas after about 8.
6. How do you take your coffee?
Black and strong. If I'm in an off mood, I add a little bit of half-and-half. NEVER sugar, as I firmly believe that if both your names end in vowels, you should be drawn-and-quartered by yaks for such a sacrilege.
7. What do you like about yourself?
That I know what I like, and just as importantly, I know what I don't like.
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Yes. And I've hit a guy with glasses, but he deserved it.
9. Will you please buy me a present?
If you refer to #5, I don't do material gifts. But, being a pretty decent carpenter, I might make you something.
10. What movie do you want to watch?
Toss up between The Hobbit, and next year's Man of Steel.
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind?
Nope.
12. What’s your shoe size?
10 U.S.
13. Recommend a good song for me.
Nina Simone's cover of "I Put a Spell on You." Heard it today and was wonderfully broken by it. She stretches it almost to the breaking point, but oh baby...
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament?
My mom still hangs a tiny green stocking with a snowman on it that I made in the 4th grade, which was probably my favorite of all school years for me. Certain smells that evoke that time, when they graze me now and again, sometimes make me believe in a heaven.
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed?
I seriously considered setting my story from round 1 (Dollhouses and Jam) during xmas, but alas, I don't forsee any yuletide tales. You never know though...
16. Can I borrow a quarter?
Sweetheart, I'd lend you a whole buck with no interest.
17. Have you told someone you love them today?
If I did through texting, and really meant it, does that count?
18. Do you want to hang out sometime?
Fo sho.
19. I like your hat.
For some reason, that statement totally disarms me.
20. What’s the last book you recommended?
1984, to a dipshit friend-of-a-friend who had no idea that the stupid show, Big Brother, that he loved to watch so much, is a literary reference.
@Boone: Where can I find that unedited version of The End, because I've looked everywhere and found bupkis!
Avery- That first pic of you is adorable.
J.Y.- see In Bruges NOW, it's in my top ten
Leah- Hell yes, we have the same Love Actually tradition
Renee- You got to The Bed Song first. Makes me cry like a baby. Wish I could have gotten the book.
Stacy- Agreed on Les Mis. Everyone knows Fantine is blonde and Cosette is brunette. And Anne and Amanda can't possibly do those roles justice. Don't get me started on Russell Crowe. But I'll be there, singing along loudly.
Dino- Stop associating by association with dipshits.
The library in my town has a copy of the unedited version on one of its greatest hits CDs. The with with the red side and black and white photo of Morrison on the cover. I think I have it in my iTunes library too. If you can tell me how to share music files via email, I'd send you a copy.
1. Are you Alive?
That's what they tell me
2. Any birthdays or anniversaries this month?
My dad's birthday and then mine on new years eve
3. If you had just one wish this holiday season, what would it be? (points if you get my SNL reference)
It wouldn't get dark so early
4. Tell me a good story about one time when you were drunk.
There are so many. I used to bounce at a bar and on a night I wasn't working showed up there wasted near the end of the night. Apparently while hanging out after close I told the managers they hadn't paid me yet, and they were trying to figure out who fucked up when someone realized "Ben, didn't even work tonight. He showed up hammered like an hour ago." Then they had to explain this to me, because I was still insisting I had worked.
5. What gift have you always wanted that you’ve never gotten?
Still upset I never got one of those cars you can ride in when you're a kid. Power wheels maybe?
6. How do you take your coffee?
espresso usually
7. What do you like about yourself?
My ability to amuse myself
8. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Once in the back room of a strip club, I think.
9. Will you please buy me a present?
Maybe, what do you want?
10. What movie do you want to watch?
The Hobbit looks like fun
11. Do you wear perfume/cologne? What kind?
A few different kinds of cologne, remembering which requires going in the other room. Not happening
12. What’s your shoe size?
11
13. Recommend a good song for me.
"Better Dig Two" by The Band Perry
14. What’s your favorite Christmas ornament?
I'm jewish
15. Are you writing anything Christmas themed?
Does a Christmas song count?
16. Can I borrow a quarter?
Of what?
17. Have you told someone you love them today?
No, it's early
18. Do you want to hang out sometime?
Sure, we're all friends here
19. I like your hat.
My head's too big for hats
20. What’s the last book you recommended?
"Broken Piano for President" by Patrick Wensink
Um...is that because that's *already* what it's about?
Not techinically, but I want to take it out of the mid-century romanticized notions and show how such an interacton would play out in modern times.
Renee- You got to The Bed Song first. Makes me cry like a baby. Wish I could have gotten the book.
For real, I try not to listen to it in the car because it always gets me. Depending on my mood, whether I sing along, and some other variables, sometimes it gets me so good it's dangerous to be driving.
Bek--I don't know it is pretty sinister if you just look at the exchange without the music. it's basically a woman saying she needs to leave and a guy feeding her drinks until she's too drunk to leave...creepy.
"Do It With a Rockstar" is a good song. Can't speak to the rest.
