Gordon Highland's picture
Gordon Highland from Kansas City is reading Secondhand Souls by Christopher Moore February 5, 2014 - 5:48pm

Now that's a great lie, much better than just sending someone snipe hunting.

Dino Parenti's picture
Dino Parenti from Los Angeles is reading Everything He Gets His Hands On February 5, 2014 - 10:46pm

Yeah, the silo is the winner so far. Nice one, Sarah. (And yes, collection. When I can finish thes damn WIPs!)

Thuggish's picture
Thuggish from Vegas is reading Day of the Jackal February 5, 2014 - 10:52pm

That is a high level moron, I think it's safe to say...  The ego is an amazing thing, isn't it?

voodoo_em's picture
voodoo_em from England is reading All the books by Ira Levin February 6, 2014 - 2:53am

SRead, I love your lie!!!

V.R.Stone's picture
V.R.Stone from London is reading Savages by Don Winslow February 6, 2014 - 8:12am

Thuggish - it wasn't actually Valentines, I was just continuing with the stories of bad movie choices. It's got to the stage where I just watch them alone. I know what I like, I have no idea what someone else will like...

SRead's picture
SRead from Colorado is reading Stories February 6, 2014 - 10:27am

Haha, everyone loves a little poetic justice. He was a terrible boss. Holding that little secret in my heart got me through the work days where he'd throw things at my head. :)

(Hurry up, Dino!)

Jack Campbell Jr.'s picture
Jack Campbell Jr. from Lawrence, KS is reading American Rust by Phillipp Meyer February 7, 2014 - 8:25am

Are you Alive?  Some days anyway.

Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)?  My dad's birthday is this month.

What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific.  Hard question. I eat a lot of them. Blue cheese with bacon---fried egg, ham, and cheddar. There is a burger in town that has chipotle cream cheese, jalapenos, and an onion ring. They call it the Popper Burger. I love it. Then there is the Hawaii 5-0 at another place (Ham and Pineapple). Then there is the Shock and Awe, which is hot sauce, habeneros, American cheese and bacon. Or another place in town does an artichoke dip burger. It's not on the menu, but you can still ask for it. Ooo...I love chili cheeseburgers or anything with guacamole. We've got another place that has the Jayhog. Bacon is ground up in the burger before it is cooked.

What writing projects are you working on right now? I've got my thesis this semester. "Kisses for Us All": Victorian Fears of Amoral Sexuality in Dracula. I'm also committed to two short stories a month for The Confabulator Cafe. I am working on one for Monday that involves a werewolf on a broken down cruise ship in the Mediterranean.

What’s your favorite smell? Used books.

Have you ever experienced unrequited love?  Do you…feel like talking about it? A lot of it, and I am sort of embarrassed by it, but we are writers. I didn't have a girlfriend until I was in college. I would pine away for months over girls, carry love letters in my pocket, admire them from a distance and never say a word about it. I didn't really get decent at talking to girls as anything other than the guy that they come crying to when the asshole breaks their heart until I was twenty and been stepped on enough. I always built it up too big in my head and put too much pressure on myself not to make things awkward by getting rejected. Ironically, I haven't been single very long since I got over that, so if anything, I went too far the other way.

What do you do when you cannot sleep? I don't really have that problem. I am usually asleep within five or ten minutes.

What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? I tell a lot of them. It's hard to say. One of the misnomers about police officers is that we can't lie. The court has upheld that we can, as long as we don't promise anything. I've probably lied about everything you've ever seen on CSI at one point or another, or at least implied. I am a talented liar, but I try not to hurt people with it.

Do you have a Valentine this year?  My girlfriend and I live together, so I am hoping so.

When was the worst Valentine’s Day?  (or just a bad date story) For years, I never had a date on Valentine's Day. I hosted a radio show in college and had an annual Valentine's Day Sucks Spectacular, in which I would play all the metal songs that had to do with bad relationships. The worst date, or at least the most awkward was my senior prom. It was my first date. I was awkward, she was disinterested. Another of those unrequited love things. Looking back there were at least four girls I should have taken that I would have had a better time with. She told me about halfway through that she wanted to be clear that we would never be anything but friends. It made for an awkward remainder of the night. The night seemed to drag on forever after that, and for the most part I just sort of avoided her after that, which didn't seem to bother her at all.

All this unrequited love might be the reason I write.

drea's picture
drea from Rural Alberta, Canada is reading between the lines February 7, 2014 - 11:35am

What’s your favorite smell? Used books.

oh yes. 

Dino Parenti's picture
Dino Parenti from Los Angeles is reading Everything He Gets His Hands On February 7, 2014 - 11:54am

I am Jack's precise unrequited love description.

Chacron's picture
Chacron from England, South Coast is reading Fool's Assassin by Robin Hobb February 7, 2014 - 3:06pm

Are you Alive?

I had a heart once, but it was a seriously overrated concept.

Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)?

One of my friends is on the 26th feb. I had two old school friends who were both in February, and although I've not seen or spoken to either of them in years I still think of them and remembe the days. They'll both be 31 this year.

What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific.

Beef burger with bacon, cheese and avocado. With bbq sauce.

What writing projects are you working on right now?

Still working on Shadow's Talent (novel). Got a third draft complete at 167,000 words. Now going for a forth and hopefully final draft.

What’s your favorite smell?

Freshly cut grass.

Have you ever experienced unrequited love?  Do you…feel like talking about it?

I don't know if 'love' is the right word, but all the guys I ever fancy are always straight. Never manage to get any of them to the 'okay, I'll experiment' stage.

What do you do when you cannot sleep?

I'm happy to say I got past my insomnia problem a while ago.

What is your favorite lie that you have ever told?

I'm a brilliant liar, the trouble is I believe my own lies so I can't tell the difference anymore.

Do you have a Valentine this year?

Only in fiction.

When was the worst Valentine’s Day?  (or just a bad date story)

I dated someone I really liked at work once and talked about myself too much. I knew I'd fucked it all up when I used 'You mind if I go for a cigarette?' as an excuse to take time out and figure out how to rescue the whole thing, then didn't rescue it.

Thuggish's picture
Thuggish from Vegas is reading Day of the Jackal February 11, 2014 - 7:43pm

VR-

Totally with you.  I love going to the movies alone, it's strangely liberating.  Like grocery shopping alone.  You can just go and do it, you don't walk super slow, wait for the other person, meander about, unable to turn your cart without almost running the other person over...  Look what marriage has done to me, this is ridiculous.

Jack Campbell Jr.'s picture
Jack Campbell Jr. from Lawrence, KS is reading American Rust by Phillipp Meyer February 12, 2014 - 9:13am

I also love going to the movies alone. It's not like you talk to the other person, anyway. I also like going out to eat alone. I can read, take my time, and have some quiet. I love the days when my girlfiend doesn't come home from lunch, and I have the house to myself for an hour.

V.R.Stone's picture
V.R.Stone from London is reading Savages by Don Winslow February 12, 2014 - 9:53am

Yeah, making time to see someone and then sitting in the dark for 2 hours is a weird thing to do! We're normal.

jyh's picture
jyh from VA is reading whatever he feels like February 12, 2014 - 9:54am

And going alone means you can leave whenever you want.

Dino Parenti's picture
Dino Parenti from Los Angeles is reading Everything He Gets His Hands On February 12, 2014 - 10:06am

^^^Agreed. First dates at movies make no sense either.

Jack Campbell Jr.'s picture
Jack Campbell Jr. from Lawrence, KS is reading American Rust by Phillipp Meyer February 12, 2014 - 1:38pm

You know what is a great first date? Bowling. You can't possibly take it seriously, you are both wearing clown shoes, and there are immediate things to talk about without having to have the awkward silence. All you single people will thank me for this. The best first dates are the ones where you can look stupid together.

Dino Parenti's picture
Dino Parenti from Los Angeles is reading Everything He Gets His Hands On February 12, 2014 - 2:36pm

Look stupid together on date #1, and then agree wholeheartedly to a date #2.

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated February 12, 2014 - 4:40pm

@Dino - I think it is just to see if they can pick out a movie without making it into a disaster.  Or in my case a car chase (see above). 

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck Wendig February 13, 2014 - 12:58am

Movies as a first date -- yeah because we aren't here to get to know each other, right? Best first date? Amusement park. You have an awesome shared experience and tons of time to talk in line. I may or may not* be married to the first person to take me on a first date at an amusement park.

*I am.

V.R.Stone's picture
V.R.Stone from London is reading Savages by Don Winslow February 13, 2014 - 2:23am

For me they weren't even first dates, we were well into the relationships. First girfriend - American Psycho then Dead Ringers. She was a little crazy, but not crazy, it seemed, about sexual violence. Bad breakup. Second girlfriend - Audition. Bad breakup. Third girlfriend - American Pie 2. We're married.

 

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated February 13, 2014 - 4:06am

@Renee - The odds of an amusement park date going well are related to the odds of someone vomiting.  For example, mine being a 100% it might not be the best idea.

Gordon Highland's picture
Gordon Highland from Kansas City is reading Secondhand Souls by Christopher Moore February 13, 2014 - 6:01am

An amusement park makes a great date because it gets the pulse rate up, and then you have an association of excitement with that person. Unless of course they hork.

Dino Parenti's picture
Dino Parenti from Los Angeles is reading Everything He Gets His Hands On February 13, 2014 - 12:12pm

Yeah, Gordon, but if she horks cute...? Keeper.

Chacron's picture
Chacron from England, South Coast is reading Fool's Assassin by Robin Hobb February 13, 2014 - 1:55pm

Second girlfriend - Audition. Bad breakup.

The very thought of taking a date to see that movie is priceless....credit to you for having done it! My friends wouldn't even watch the film with me!

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck Wendig February 13, 2014 - 6:01pm

Well, he did ask me ahead of time if I liked roller coasters. I suppose you want to settle that before taking someone to an amusement park.

Thuggish's picture
Thuggish from Vegas is reading Day of the Jackal February 13, 2014 - 7:17pm

Jack and Gordon are onto something- but make that date number TWO.

Number one is brief, guys, like coffee, maaaaybe lunch.  Best performers leave the audience wanting more, right?  Aaaand, you weed out the various kinds of gold diggers and other mercenary daters.

ReneeAPickup's picture
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck Wendig February 13, 2014 - 9:46pm

Yeah, I never dated like that. I've never gone out with someone I didn't already know in some manner before the date, I go for lunch and coffee with friends of both genders, so if a guy asked me out for coffee it would probably just be embarrassing if he like... tried to pay for my scone or something, because, since I only dated people I'd already known, at least a little bit, the dip-your-toes getting-to-know-you dates weren't necessary.

jaimerochelle's picture
jaimerochelle from NY, NY; Chapel Hill, NC; South Jersey is reading Ghostbelly, Americanah February 13, 2014 - 9:54pm

Are you Alive? I think so. Sometimes I doubt it. 

Any birthdays/anniversaries/important dates we should know about for February (or January since I missed it)? Nope.

What’s your favorite kind of burger – please be specific. I don't like burgers. 

What writing projects are you working on right now? My MFA thesis, which is due March 3. 

What’s your favorite smell? gasoline, or pizza. Separate, not together. 

Have you ever experienced unrequited love?  Do you…feel like talking about it? Um, all the time. And no. But thanks.

What do you do when you cannot sleep? Continue to stay awake, torturing myself. Or read a book/listen to my iPod.

What is your favorite lie that you have ever told? I swear, I never smoked pot with that teacher....I just had lunch at her house; we had mac and cheese and lemonade.

Do you have a Valentine this year? Nope. Although my dad sent me candy so I wouldn't feel TOO bad. 

When was the worst Valentine’s Day?  (or just a bad date story) I'll have to think about that one.

 

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated February 14, 2014 - 7:04am

Well, he did ask me ahead of time if I liked roller coasters. I suppose you want to settle that before taking someone to an amusement park.

Last time I really spent with the girl I almost married her dad and his boyfriend invited us to an amusement park as for their unofficial same sex wedding announcement.  She, and none of them, accepted "No, I'll throw up."  Later they all looked shocked when I shut down 3 rides.  Maybe the secret to relationships is caring enough to check (and believe) if your partner will vomit.

Gordon Highland's picture
Gordon Highland from Kansas City is reading Secondhand Souls by Christopher Moore February 14, 2014 - 9:42am

That's just begging to receive a mixed message regarding your acceptance of their relationship. "I'm gonna puke. No, no, I mean, congrats and all, it's just the coaster, I swear."

Also, there's a lesson in comma usage for everyone, as this is how I first read it. haha

Last time I really spent with the girl, I almost married her dad, and his boyfriend invited us to an amusement park

voodoo_em's picture
voodoo_em from England is reading All the books by Ira Levin February 14, 2014 - 2:12pm

That's totally how I read it too!

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated February 14, 2014 - 5:40pm

@Gordon - My mom is sick and I've not really slept since I got up Thursday besides some cat naps, so I don't feel bad about that one.

Well I spent 2 days with them before the vomit saying "Please, no rides," and it was after the rides that the vomit came so yeah, I don't think that is how anyone would read it. Besides, I'm in no way dedicated to getting along with people or relationships or tolerance or anything I can think of to put up with anything that makes me vomit.

And just because a certain gay couple in particular are so disgusting I vomit ("Run, you seem like a nice guy! Don't marry him! Save yourself while you can! Marry some other guy! Almost any other guy!  Or a woman! Or a transgendered person! Die alone, unmourned and unloved if you have too, just run!") doesn't mean that I'm opposed to or bothered by gay relationships in general.  I'm not saying that came up in some unrelated story, but I'm not saying it didn't either.

Gordon Highland's picture
Gordon Highland from Kansas City is reading Secondhand Souls by Christopher Moore February 14, 2014 - 8:17pm

Sorry to hear about your moms, man. Ugh.

I make a point of never correcting peoples' grammar on web forums, because of their conversational nature (and because most people are probably typing as fast as they can think); I was just making a couple of jokes because they made me laugh. Not meant to be at your expense.

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated February 15, 2014 - 5:12am

No big deal, I didn't take it that way.  It is just I needed to do some stuff during the day and I work nights so it happens sometimes.

Flaminia Ferina's picture
Flaminia Ferina from Umbria is reading stuff February 18, 2014 - 10:48am

A good alternative to rollercoasters is leaving your manuscript on your date's table. It works if you don't want to see him anymore and it's too bad, cause he's probably horked and horked def cute but you weren't there to see it cause you're "too shy to read it out loud to you." FML.

drea's picture
drea from Rural Alberta, Canada is reading between the lines February 20, 2014 - 12:58pm

Can I go back to movie as first date option? Because if I DID ever go on a date, I would be fine with a movie.

#1, no talking, so you have all that body language and how they respond to what they're seeing as a way to get to know them. Maybe it's more honest than conversation.  

#2, their suggestion at what film to see says a lot about them 

 

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updated February 20, 2014 - 1:28pm

@Drea - I'm with you, my logic being if someone makes what movie to see a big deal they are WAY too uptight for me.  Sort of like a little Should We Date test.

You say, "Let's see X."  Rate the following responses. 

 "Yeah, good idea." - Awesome

"Okay." - Acceptable

"If you're cool with it, could we see Y instead." - Acceptable

"I hate X and actor in it." - Unacceptable