I posted this
ishe
because there’s never enough time - you’ll swear it’s not too late - put it back on red - let it out - lead it blindly over your stonewall senses - go see if Finnegan’s woke yet -
and got Margaret Mitchell. HA!
Each passage I posted got a different author, so I'm not convinced.
According to this, Horsepower sounds like George Orwell.
Almost every blog post/story/article on Show Me Your Junk gets a different result. Stephen King, Cory Doctorow, Chuck Palahniuk, and even Anne Rice (that's "The Importance of Seeing Tubgirl")
Amy Hempel's The Harvest.... sounds like Chucky P.
I have been told (even by two posters here, as recently as last week) I've developed a minimalist style reminiscent of blending Hemingway and McCarthy (who I get compared to a lot)
It bothers me. I would rather be me, however comparison is natural I suppose. I just don't want to be a dime store version of whoever, so I normally just ignore such comments.
@AD You never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity. How about this: you actually spend five minutes out in the real world. I know things are big and scary outside of podunk Kentucky, but just try it. I know anything other than Dairy Queen, shitting out kids and meth is outside your comfort zone (after all I grew up in a place like that), but give it a try and then, maybe then, your horribly pedantic and negative snipes might actually carry weight.
Vladimir Nabokov. It's probably based off of amount of punctuation, length of words, amount/length of paragraphs, and quantifiable statistics like that, but I can't help wondering if I got Nabokov each time because the only samples to which I had access were about sex.
I tried a couple and got:
Isaac Asimov/Jack London/Margaret Atwood/William Gibson
I could probably do something more productive with my time, like edit these stories. Fucking Asimov, thank god they were first drafts. (ah, I picked a copy of Foundation of the shelf and know what it is, it's the amount of commas.)
@Matt - Just for the record I'm not being snarky here, but semi-serious. I've heard/read many make fun of Kentucky, and really I expected you would do something creative. I've paid to read worse writers then you and not felt cheated, so when you get mad enough to critize us I was hoping for something more interesting. Maybe some real insight into why everyone looks down on us so much. Like your not part of the south thing, that was shockingly good work. I think it was so wrong as to not really bother me, but I admired the creativity and thoughtfullness of the argument. Bring up meth and people's families? Not so impressive, although I understand that normal bad news on top of the S. Meyer (which I also got) thing would throw you off.
I got William Shakspere, S. Meyer, J. D. Salinger, Mark Twain, Cory Doctorow, Dan Brown (from a poem!), and Stephen King. I'm not sure how much I trust that site.
@Dwayne: I love it when a one line comment deserves a whole paragraph of passive aggressive nonsense that talks down to the entire state. But then, I'm pedantic.
"It's probably based off of amount of punctuation, length of words, amount/length of paragraphs, and quantifiable statistics like that"
I think it's magic.
"it's the amount of commas."
Don't discount the magic.
"It had everything to do with her."
Matt - you remind me of my almost ex-husband, he doesn't think I'm funny either. So I want to tell you what I told him: I get it. It's fine. Also, you don't have to worry about me fucking anyone else in our bed, because you're taking it with you.
But seriously, I do realize I can be too much. I just don't care.
You guys do what you want, I still want to know why everyone acts like we are so backwards. I mean I get if you are from Manhattan and you think Kentucky is backwards. Most times the ideas about why are stupid, but whatever there is some half baked logic. I'm talking guys from I'veneverheardofitville, Arkansas with 600 people and no stop light.
Ooohh I"m scrolling up trying to find out where we started talking about this South. I love those kind of arguments. Truth is I love the fact that my Appalachian ancesers aren't as polisihed as some of my Nashville and New York friends, but they sure are colorful and fun to be around! My rule is if you love the South you can criticize it all day long and have fun donig it. If you don't love the South come see me!
My story What We Keep came back as Margaret Atwood.
Soldiers (flash me) is Gertrude Stein
Pop goes the weasel is Chuck P
Victims is William Gibson
Cold turkey and left overs is Chuck P
Softly is William Gibson
Satisfaction crumbles is Anne Rice
Scratch (75 word flash) is Stephen King
and my latest project (unfinished) is Chuck P
The longest thing I've yet completed (about 10,200 words): J. K. Rowling
The most pretentious thing I've ever written (about 1,700 words): Chuck Palahniuk
Unfinished sequel to the longest thing I've yet completed: William Gibson
The first couple chapters of an unfinished novel: James Joyce
This one in particular makes no sense to me. I plugged more of the novel and got the same thing.
"The Rooster Came First": Rudyard Kipling
Another short story (about 1,000 words): Chuck Palahniuk
700 words of a short story: David Foster Wallace
Scratch that. This one, in particular, makes no sense to me. Sentence length, perhaps?
Something I'm working on right now: Cory Doctorow
Craziness!
