averydoll's picture
Defender of the People
averydoll from Kentucky is reading Lisey's Story by Stephen King May 30, 2012 - 9:47am

It's Utah's Birthday!  Our very own Defender was apparently born to this earth just like a regular human.  Who would have thought. 

Happy birthday, Utah!

averydoll's picture
Defender of the People
averydoll from Kentucky is reading Lisey's Story by Stephen King May 30, 2012 - 9:48am

Also,

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner May 30, 2012 - 11:49am

ReneeAPickup's picture
ReneeAPickup from Joshua Tree, CA is reading The Sound of Lonliness May 30, 2012 - 11:54am

bryanhowie's picture
bryanhowie from FW, ID is reading Comic books and motorcycle riding guides May 30, 2012 - 1:13pm

Thank you, Google image search.

jacks_username's picture
jacks_username from Louisville, Kentucky is reading Flashover by Gordon Highland May 30, 2012 - 1:21pm

What will you be drinking today sir? 

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User Unavailable May 30, 2012 - 1:32pm

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Lexington, Ky. is reading Strangers in the Land by Stant Litore. May 30, 2012 - 1:46pm

Death to your foes!

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry May 30, 2012 - 1:55pm

Oh.  Shit.  I just now saw this.  Thanks, guys!  I'm actually kinda touched.

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User Unavailable May 30, 2012 - 1:59pm

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry May 30, 2012 - 2:07pm

Aww.  You shouldn't have.

Really.  Get the fucking bird off my desk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please?

User Unavailable's picture
User Unavailable May 30, 2012 - 2:09pm

FINE.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry May 30, 2012 - 2:14pm

OHHHH!

wickedvoodoo's picture
wickedvoodoo from Mansfield, England is reading stuff. May 30, 2012 - 2:27pm

Hope you have a great day mr Utah. Gotta be a tough life, having fifty siblings and all. Gonna be a hectic party that's for sure.

Have yourself a damn good time sir, you've earned it!

Dave's picture
Dave from Texas is reading constantly May 30, 2012 - 3:21pm

Liana's picture
Liana from Romania and Texas is reading Death by Sunshine by Allison Burnett May 30, 2012 - 3:26pm

PARTEEEEEYYYYY!!! What should we get drunk on, Utah? Oh I forgot we're not all of drinking age. Children, shield your eyes.

Happy birthday!

jacks_username's picture
jacks_username from Louisville, Kentucky is reading Flashover by Gordon Highland May 30, 2012 - 3:31pm

Don't worry, I'm the only child. And Dave.

averydoll's picture
Defender of the People
averydoll from Kentucky is reading Lisey's Story by Stephen King May 30, 2012 - 4:00pm

"And Dave."

Dave only looks 15 in his facebook pictures.  At least...I hope.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry May 30, 2012 - 4:30pm

There you go again, accidentally telling us stuff.

averydoll's picture
Defender of the People
averydoll from Kentucky is reading Lisey's Story by Stephen King May 30, 2012 - 4:32pm

For your birthday I have apparently decided to feel awkward all day long.  SURPRISE!

 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry May 30, 2012 - 4:34pm

The nice thing is that being newly single turns everybody into a teenager again for a little while.  Enjoy smoking pot and going to corn field parties!

averydoll's picture
Defender of the People
averydoll from Kentucky is reading Lisey's Story by Stephen King May 30, 2012 - 4:36pm

I have to disagree with that.

User Unavailable's picture
User Unavailable May 30, 2012 - 4:39pm

No shit, ever since my divorce I have stayed home and told everyone I know to fuck off.

I did smoke a little pot and drink just a tad though.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry May 30, 2012 - 4:41pm

Geez.  Let me rummage around in my quote box for a suitable quote.  Hey.  Here's one:

"You don't even know how to [be single] properly."

averydoll's picture
Defender of the People
averydoll from Kentucky is reading Lisey's Story by Stephen King May 30, 2012 - 4:47pm

I'm not technically single. 

User Unavailable's picture
User Unavailable May 30, 2012 - 4:47pm

Sometimes I dress my hand up as a woman, but then I caught it going down on the neighbor.

drea's picture
drea from Rural Alberta, Canada is reading between the lines May 30, 2012 - 5:28pm

Hey, Happy Birthday, Utah! (not to jack yo swagga, but mine was yesterday; we Geminis are notoriously enamoured with one another.) 

 

 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry May 30, 2012 - 5:34pm

It's generally because we're better looking and more talented than everyone else.

Dwayne's picture
Dwayne from Lexington, Ky. is reading Strangers in the Land by Stant Litore. May 30, 2012 - 7:10pm

If that is true Utah, your birthday can't be anytime near today.

Chester Pane's picture
Chester Pane from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz May 30, 2012 - 8:09pm

Sometimes I dress my hand up as a woman, but then I caught it going down on the neighbor.

 

 

Oh, and Geminis are weird. The whole duality twin thing. The split personality thing. The great thing is that everyone will like one half of you or the other. Usually the other.

GaryP's picture
GaryP from Denver is reading a bit of this and that May 30, 2012 - 8:11pm

I'm trying to write you a birthday poem, but I can't figure out what rhymes with "huge penis."

User Unavailable's picture
User Unavailable May 30, 2012 - 8:12pm

Cleanest anus of Venus?

Chester Pane's picture
Chester Pane from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz May 30, 2012 - 8:27pm

eugenius

User Unavailable's picture
User Unavailable May 30, 2012 - 8:47pm

CUNNILINGUS!

Bekanator's picture
Bekanator from Kamloops, British Columbia is reading Transubstantiate by Richard Thomas May 30, 2012 - 10:02pm

Happy birthday, Utah!  I didn't bring anything.  I just came for the free beer.

Covewriter's picture
Covewriter from Nashville, Tennessee is reading & Sons May 30, 2012 - 10:07pm

HBD2U Utah

Boone Spaulding's picture
Boone Spaulding from Coldwater, Michigan, U.S.A. is reading Solarcide Presents: Nova Parade May 30, 2012 - 10:34pm

RoaringJen's picture
RoaringJen from PDX is reading The Meryl Streep Movie Club by Mia March May 31, 2012 - 5:17am

Happy Birthday, Utah!

AstroCat's picture
AstroCat from Los Angeles is reading More Than Human May 31, 2012 - 6:03am

Happy Birthday Utah! I didn't know it was your birthday yesterday or I would have said it sooner :(.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry May 31, 2012 - 8:12am

Thanks, everybody!

User Unavailable's picture
User Unavailable May 31, 2012 - 9:24am

We should just make this a week long celebration. 

averydoll's picture
Defender of the People
averydoll from Kentucky is reading Lisey's Story by Stephen King May 31, 2012 - 9:29am

Well, I'm not going to share anymore awkward information about my life today.  That part of the celebration is over.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry May 31, 2012 - 9:45am

You already did.  So, are you going to "mow Matt's lawn" as well?

averydoll's picture
Defender of the People
averydoll from Kentucky is reading Lisey's Story by Stephen King May 31, 2012 - 9:52am

Please stop.

I just let out one of those scary hysterical high pitched laughs like crazy people do before they completely lose their shit. 

Full disclosure.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry May 31, 2012 - 9:54am

@Matt:  Some weird IOI action for you over here. ^^^

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner May 31, 2012 - 9:54am

In fairness, I shared that info. Not her. I do like the crazy person laugh. 

averydoll's picture
Defender of the People
averydoll from Kentucky is reading Lisey's Story by Stephen King May 31, 2012 - 10:03am

Don't feed into Matt's unhealthy fixation on me.  I can't deal with all these stalkers. 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner May 31, 2012 - 10:05am

Really? MY unhealthy fixation? Hi, what planet do you live on? 

 

 

averydoll's picture
Defender of the People
averydoll from Kentucky is reading Lisey's Story by Stephen King May 31, 2012 - 10:06am

Quit falling in love with me people - shit's getting old...

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner May 31, 2012 - 10:08am

Bwhahahah Aww, that's adorable. 

averydoll's picture
Defender of the People
averydoll from Kentucky is reading Lisey's Story by Stephen King May 31, 2012 - 10:09am

See what I mean?