hi all, hope its a good day for all
how much detail is to much or not enough. (just got done with my first draft of my first book letting it set of a month be for going back to it) working on and other idea until then..
my theory (right or wrong) is to be lean and mean. on subjects and things that you are only around one or two time does not need to be giving much detail.
Like a room in a house ot the house if you are in it only once or twice but if you are in the house 1/2 the book then more detail needs to be there..
example
A car pulls out of Eat’s stop by Hicks rolls down the window.
“Need a left?” the elderly man ask. Hicks opens the door and gets in and shuts the door.
Or
A car pulls out of Eat’s stop rolls down the window.
“Need a left?” the elderly man ask. Hicks gets in.
now to me the second one is better because to get in you have to open the door. then shut the door the reader should assume that Right????
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the far room at the end of the house is large with a fire place on the out side wall with surrounded by tow large windows, on both sides .the red oak floors are faded were the sun comes throw the windows the white bear shin on the floor in front of the fire place, hard to believe that they don't move it with a fire in the fire place.
or
the room is large with a fire place with two big window on both sides. with a bear shin rug laying on the red oak floor..
I like the first one better even know that the room is not going to be in again. d I think the first one is still lean and mean the second is just boring.
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“Put up the schematic of the ship. A three d schematic of the ship comes up turns from right to left.
Or
“Put up the schematic of the ship. A three d schematic comes up.
I like the second one it get the point across and you go on.
thanks all
Robert
In your first example you aren't talking about detail so much as you are talking about trusting your reader. If your reader is able to "gather" something, then you don't need to beat them with it. So, yeah, the second sentence is better. If the man had gotten in the car and left the door open that would be worth mentioning.
In your second example, you're bringing the reader into a setting. When I read the first one, I see the room. When I read the second one, I am simply made aware that a house is there. It's okay to take time with your setting if it brings the reader in. That wasn't a page's worth...
In your third example, I think both sentences are bad. Going back to the first point--trust your reader. "Put up the schematic"...I'm not expecting a puppy to appear, you know? So... " 'Put up the schematic,' CharacterX says. Character Y hits a button and a 3D image appears in front of CharacterX."
And that's not the world's greatest sentence, either, but it takes out the repeated use of "schematic" and it gives a little faith to your reader.
When I write, I try to go with three things: Setting, Characters, Action.
The setting grounds the reader and lets them know the surroundings. If something, like the bear rug, is going to be walked across by the characters or mentioned in the dialogue, then I want to see it in the setting first. Otherwise, it's like a video game with low graphic settings where items 'pop in' all of a sudden (like you're walking through a forest and all of a sudden a bare tree gets leafs or a mountain suddenly pops up in the distance).
Pop-ins irritate the hell out of me.
thanks that helps
and yes i would agree that both of the last sentances are bad. and i like the part of not repeating schematic
and I get what you say about pop-ins.
thanks again Oh I'm repeating my self again. LOL
Robert
Also a certain amount of what works for what you are writing. Sometimes you'll need to into more depth then others, sometimes more (or less) depth works even though you don't need it per say.
Just my two cents, but I'd say you have more wiggle room if it is a place that the reader has had described to them several times in the narrative.
