aliensoul77
from a cold distant star is reading the writing on the wall.December 22, 2011 - 2:36pm
That lady's boobs could knock me out.
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryDecember 22, 2011 - 3:00pm
Best to send the most elite Death Eaters after that one. That woman looks pretty hungry herself.
Raelyn
from California is reading The Liars' ClubDecember 22, 2011 - 3:11pm
For my tenth birthday my grandma got me a Harry Potter broomstick and wand. Happiest fucking birthday ever.
Chester Pane
from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot DiazDecember 22, 2011 - 3:35pm
Nietzsche.
Did I mention that I aspire to be a spelling Nazi? I don't give a fuck what someone does or doesn't like to read. But I do fucking judge them heavily on their spelling aptitude.
.
December 22, 2011 - 3:40pm
Well what the hell is the point of silent letters anyway?! You wouldn't cut steak with a KA-NIFE.
bryanhowie
from FW, ID is reading East of Eden. Steinbeck is FUCKING AMAZING.December 22, 2011 - 4:02pm
ReneeAPickup
from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck WendigDecember 22, 2011 - 4:09pm
@Brian--this thread has really blown up, but since you addressed me, I'll address you back--I have a hard time seeing how our perceptions are so different, being that I, personally, came into the thread and said I liked some of the authors being put down, and didn't feel any of the disrespect or insults coming. I don't need to take any deep breaths, I'm geniunely not upset by anything that has happened here. I've never gotten anything but respect from the people on this forum, and what I am seeing here is a relatively tame discussion on what some consider trash, or in my words: junk food for the brain. Some are standing up for it, some aren't--but most are arguing that the snobbery is sort of hypocritical, or in some cases, baseless. I don't think anyone was out to say "if you read this stuff, leave the site, because I don't respect you and think I am smarter than you".
If you read that, I guess that's on you. I didn't read it, and I read a fair number of the authors you listed as the ones you like.
.
December 22, 2011 - 4:13pm
Whoa, I can't believe some people shun Ellis. Actually I can believe that. Every sentence packed with vulgarity, well that takes talent.
Raelyn
from California is reading The Liars' ClubDecember 22, 2011 - 4:15pm
Brian- Hmm, I'm pretty sure mine didn't vibrate. It had a button at the top where, when pressed, it made WHOooOOOOoooSHING sounds. And it lit up.
bryanhowie
from FW, ID is reading East of Eden. Steinbeck is FUCKING AMAZING.December 22, 2011 - 6:18pm
My name has a 'y' in it, Raelin.
Raelyn
from California is reading The Liars' ClubDecember 22, 2011 - 6:28pm
My apologies, Bryan.
Arkadia
from Australia is reading Selected Poems by W.H. AudenDecember 22, 2011 - 7:09pm
Hah. One year in high school, I took a 'Studies of Societies' class. Every Tuesday each student had to give a talk to the class about a current even. I've always lived to be the center of attention and to entertain, so I would go out of my way to find the strangers, most interesting news articles I could.
One week I gave a speech on the recall of the vibrator Harry Potter brooms. It was pretty tongue in cheek, non-specific in a way to let people draw their own obvious conclusions.
My teacher freaked. Gave me my first non-perfect grade on the speech, told me I was disgusting, completely out of line, etc etc. His face turned all red.
This guy, I won't lie, he fit what you'd expect to be the 'pede-profile'. In his fifties, bald, always hunching, a large paunch, varicose veins, unmarried, a littttle touchy with the kids. I mean, I liked him. He treated me like an intellectal equal.
I'm disturbed to this day by the unexpected reaction that speech provoked in him. He was childless, so I don't think I touched a nerve there. He was never that into political correctness either.
Me thinks the man doth protest too much.
Dwayne
from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updatedDecember 22, 2011 - 8:01pm
@Arkadia - Or he just didn't want every kid in the class talk about sex every week and be the creepy teacher you enrolled in to talk like a perv.
Arkadia
from Australia is reading Selected Poems by W.H. AudenDecember 23, 2011 - 3:48am
It was a compulsory class.
He was generally super cool and laidback, which is why it was totally unexpected when he started spluttering and turning red in the face and looked like he wanted to run out of the room.
It's not like I was like, "Ohhhh little kids rubbing their privates on vibrating brooms and getting off yeahhh". I just talked about the recall due to mass parent complaints and let people work things out for themselves. And besides, I was like thirteen, fourteen, still a kid myself -- the subject of sexuality was not something I divided been 'child sexuality' and 'adult sexuality'. Something adults need to remember when interacting with kids, I think. Lots of misunderstandings seem to happen that way.
Nick Wilczynski
from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. MartinDecember 23, 2011 - 4:52am
lmfao, I've been kind of avoiding this thread, but when I finally read it it cracked me up.
I felt the same way about Dan Brown 7 (maybe 8...) years ago. That optimism has given way to resentment. I mean, I try not to worry about it, he does what he does, plenty of people make money/achieve goals with less talent than he has. But when I do... think about it.... instead of optimism I tend to think instead that I will never in a million years even be capable of writing something brainless enough to sell to whoever buys those books.
-
Count me in on the "can't stand Ellis" camp as well, but that's unrelated. I'll admit that Ellis can write and does so well, I just don't care for his style.
postpomo
from Canada is reading words words wordsDecember 23, 2011 - 7:48am
A publisher once explained to me that you need at least two of these three things to get published: a good story, persistence, luck.
If you're lucky and persistent, you don't necessarily have to be able to write all that well...
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryDecember 23, 2011 - 8:03am
@Postpomo: Realistically, I think the reason Brown's had so much success is that he's had all three. Persistence and luck were probably big motivating factors, but the fact is that the stories are pretty good. His writing isn't all that hot, but the stories themselves are decent. If they were written by Umberto Eco 75% of us would be on this thread jerking off about their literary excellence, but that's because he's a better writer. The books probably wouldn't have sold as many copies though, because there's a good percentage of the reading population that probably doesn't have the patience to read Eco.
So maybe that's the fourth key: be readable.
Arkadia
from Australia is reading Selected Poems by W.H. AudenDecember 23, 2011 - 9:26am
I've only read Glamorama by BEE, and the story left much to be desired, but when it comes to pure prose, man do I think that guy can write.
mutterhals
from Pittsburgh
December 23, 2011 - 10:11am
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryDecember 23, 2011 - 11:04am
Stacie, that made me happy. Especially the Palahniuk one. Thanks.
postpomo
from Canada is reading words words wordsDecember 23, 2011 - 12:04pm
@utah - agreed indeed - I think the publisher used a very general word like "good" to describe the work itself, so readible can be lumped in with good story - some kind of appeal in the work itself was more or less what he was talking about. And I think Dan Brown did hit all three, at least initially. And if you get that name recognition, the other factors are de-emphasized.
Dwayne
from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updatedDecember 23, 2011 - 12:10pm
Also people don't want the best story they've ever heard, they want the same story they've always heard. It fits neatly in the formula of hero meets problem, hero defeats problem, hero is happy till sequel.
postpomo
from Canada is reading words words wordsDecember 23, 2011 - 12:16pm
No. I want the best story I've ever heard.
Class Facilitator
ReneeAPickup
from Southern California is reading Wanderers by Chuck WendigDecember 23, 2011 - 12:46pm
Those fake excerpts were gold.
Dwayne
from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updatedDecember 23, 2011 - 12:58pm
@postpomo - “People”, as in the reasons large group buy Dan Brown. Not “people”, as in the reasons every person ever buys whatever they do buy. It's a writer's forum, for the love of whoever let me take a bit of poetic license.
mutterhals
from Pittsburgh
December 23, 2011 - 1:32pm
The Chuck P. one was my fave as well.
postpomo
from Canada is reading words words wordsDecember 23, 2011 - 2:01pm
@Dwayne - I give you all the license you like and more - I'm taking the piss, and keep forgetting to include emoticons - your point is clear, as mine, alas was not.
and as I've mentioned (maybe in this thread - I lose track with the onset of early elderly senility), we continue to tell ourselves the same story over and over, because there's always people who haven't heard it, and it's a good story.
Chester Pane
from Portland, Oregon is reading The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot DiazDecember 23, 2011 - 2:48pm
@Stacie: Nice.
Dwayne
from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updatedDecember 23, 2011 - 7:13pm
@postpomo - I'm unsure the meaning of the term "taking the piss" in this context.
postpomo
from Canada is reading words words wordsDecember 23, 2011 - 8:24pm
wow, I'm having communication breakdown all over the boards this week - I meant that I was pissing about - not taking the piss.
it's nothing - forget about it. meaningless internet drivel.
Moderator
Utah
from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtryDecember 23, 2011 - 8:33pm
I took a piss one time. But not from anybody else.
Dwayne
from Cincinnati, Ohio (suburbs) is reading books that rotate to often to keep this updatedDecember 23, 2011 - 10:15pm
@postpomo - Don't feel too bad, I would have had too googled "pissing about"
That lady's boobs could knock me out.
Best to send the most elite Death Eaters after that one. That woman looks pretty hungry herself.
For my tenth birthday my grandma got me a Harry Potter broomstick and wand. Happiest fucking birthday ever.
Nietzsche.
Did I mention that I aspire to be a spelling Nazi? I don't give a fuck what someone does or doesn't like to read. But I do fucking judge them heavily on their spelling aptitude.
Well what the hell is the point of silent letters anyway?! You wouldn't cut steak with a KA-NIFE.
Was it number 8 on this list, Raelyn?
@Brian--this thread has really blown up, but since you addressed me, I'll address you back--I have a hard time seeing how our perceptions are so different, being that I, personally, came into the thread and said I liked some of the authors being put down, and didn't feel any of the disrespect or insults coming. I don't need to take any deep breaths, I'm geniunely not upset by anything that has happened here. I've never gotten anything but respect from the people on this forum, and what I am seeing here is a relatively tame discussion on what some consider trash, or in my words: junk food for the brain. Some are standing up for it, some aren't--but most are arguing that the snobbery is sort of hypocritical, or in some cases, baseless. I don't think anyone was out to say "if you read this stuff, leave the site, because I don't respect you and think I am smarter than you".
If you read that, I guess that's on you. I didn't read it, and I read a fair number of the authors you listed as the ones you like.
Whoa, I can't believe some people shun Ellis. Actually I can believe that. Every sentence packed with vulgarity, well that takes talent.
Brian- Hmm, I'm pretty sure mine didn't vibrate. It had a button at the top where, when pressed, it made WHOooOOOOoooSHING sounds. And it lit up.
My name has a 'y' in it, Raelin.
My apologies, Bryan.
Hah. One year in high school, I took a 'Studies of Societies' class. Every Tuesday each student had to give a talk to the class about a current even. I've always lived to be the center of attention and to entertain, so I would go out of my way to find the strangers, most interesting news articles I could.
One week I gave a speech on the recall of the vibrator Harry Potter brooms. It was pretty tongue in cheek, non-specific in a way to let people draw their own obvious conclusions.
My teacher freaked. Gave me my first non-perfect grade on the speech, told me I was disgusting, completely out of line, etc etc. His face turned all red.
This guy, I won't lie, he fit what you'd expect to be the 'pede-profile'. In his fifties, bald, always hunching, a large paunch, varicose veins, unmarried, a littttle touchy with the kids. I mean, I liked him. He treated me like an intellectal equal.
I'm disturbed to this day by the unexpected reaction that speech provoked in him. He was childless, so I don't think I touched a nerve there. He was never that into political correctness either.
Me thinks the man doth protest too much.
@Arkadia - Or he just didn't want every kid in the class talk about sex every week and be the creepy teacher you enrolled in to talk like a perv.
It was a compulsory class.
He was generally super cool and laidback, which is why it was totally unexpected when he started spluttering and turning red in the face and looked like he wanted to run out of the room.
It's not like I was like, "Ohhhh little kids rubbing their privates on vibrating brooms and getting off yeahhh". I just talked about the recall due to mass parent complaints and let people work things out for themselves. And besides, I was like thirteen, fourteen, still a kid myself -- the subject of sexuality was not something I divided been 'child sexuality' and 'adult sexuality'. Something adults need to remember when interacting with kids, I think. Lots of misunderstandings seem to happen that way.
lmfao, I've been kind of avoiding this thread, but when I finally read it it cracked me up.
I felt the same way about Dan Brown 7 (maybe 8...) years ago. That optimism has given way to resentment. I mean, I try not to worry about it, he does what he does, plenty of people make money/achieve goals with less talent than he has. But when I do... think about it.... instead of optimism I tend to think instead that I will never in a million years even be capable of writing something brainless enough to sell to whoever buys those books.
-
Count me in on the "can't stand Ellis" camp as well, but that's unrelated. I'll admit that Ellis can write and does so well, I just don't care for his style.
A publisher once explained to me that you need at least two of these three things to get published: a good story, persistence, luck.
If you're lucky and persistent, you don't necessarily have to be able to write all that well...
@Postpomo: Realistically, I think the reason Brown's had so much success is that he's had all three. Persistence and luck were probably big motivating factors, but the fact is that the stories are pretty good. His writing isn't all that hot, but the stories themselves are decent. If they were written by Umberto Eco 75% of us would be on this thread jerking off about their literary excellence, but that's because he's a better writer. The books probably wouldn't have sold as many copies though, because there's a good percentage of the reading population that probably doesn't have the patience to read Eco.
So maybe that's the fourth key: be readable.
I've only read Glamorama by BEE, and the story left much to be desired, but when it comes to pure prose, man do I think that guy can write.
I'm just going to leave this here: http://www.thenervousbreakdown.com/sadams/2011/10/out-this-fall/
Stacie, that made me happy. Especially the Palahniuk one. Thanks.
@utah - agreed indeed - I think the publisher used a very general word like "good" to describe the work itself, so readible can be lumped in with good story - some kind of appeal in the work itself was more or less what he was talking about. And I think Dan Brown did hit all three, at least initially. And if you get that name recognition, the other factors are de-emphasized.
Also people don't want the best story they've ever heard, they want the same story they've always heard. It fits neatly in the formula of hero meets problem, hero defeats problem, hero is happy till sequel.
No. I want the best story I've ever heard.
Those fake excerpts were gold.
@postpomo - “People”, as in the reasons large group buy Dan Brown. Not “people”, as in the reasons every person ever buys whatever they do buy. It's a writer's forum, for the love of whoever let me take a bit of poetic license.
The Chuck P. one was my fave as well.
@Dwayne - I give you all the license you like and more - I'm taking the piss, and keep forgetting to include emoticons - your point is clear, as mine, alas was not.
and as I've mentioned (maybe in this thread - I lose track with the onset of early elderly senility), we continue to tell ourselves the same story over and over, because there's always people who haven't heard it, and it's a good story.
@Stacie: Nice.
@postpomo - I'm unsure the meaning of the term "taking the piss" in this context.
wow, I'm having communication breakdown all over the boards this week - I meant that I was pissing about - not taking the piss.
it's nothing - forget about it. meaningless internet drivel.
I took a piss one time. But not from anybody else.
@postpomo - Don't feel too bad, I would have had too googled "pissing about"
http://www.amazon.com/Divided-Common-Language-Christopher-Davies/dp/0966...
Very funny read about stuff like this.
@Chester: Thanks, man!