Laramore Black's picture
Laramore Black from Joplin, Missouri is reading Mario Kart 8 February 17, 2012 - 1:57pm

A Memoir told from the grave.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 17, 2012 - 1:59pm

Wow- good prompt, I am down. I say winner get post praising the other. I dont think Ren has fully accepted yet...

Renfield's picture
Renfield from Hell is reading 20th Century Ghosts February 17, 2012 - 2:01pm

See you at midnight.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 17, 2012 - 2:02pm

See ya in 8 hours kiddies. 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 2:03pm

Just don't be like Diaz and spend the next several hours trolling the threads and then blame somebody else when you post late!

I'm not sayin nuthin, you know.  I'm just sayin.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 2:06pm

Diaz is dead to me.

How hard is it to write a story???

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 2:07pm

Geez.  A bit melodramatic.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 2:10pm

I'm gonna let that slide because you're name is a state.

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin February 17, 2012 - 2:17pm

Not only a state, but a patently crappy state.

At least the Dakotas have nifty missile silos.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 2:29pm

Hey.  Hey!  HEY! 

Well, yeah.  Utah kinda is the shits.  But not really.  It's beautiful there.  I grew up in the urban part.  Drive five minutes, I'm hiking in the mountains.

Politically, though.  Sure.  You got me there.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 2:29pm

Well.  I always liked the shape of the state in general. 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 2:30pm

It's cause I work out.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 2:31pm

That was quick.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 2:33pm

That's cause I don't do much cardio.  Sorry.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 2:35pm

ah hah.  ha ha.

wow.

Where is my competition??? 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 2:44pm

He's finishing his story.  Be chill.  Stop thinking about my rock-hard abs.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 17, 2012 - 2:45pm

Posted. Shut it. I haven't slept, I had to drive to White Marsh because my sister left her wallet in the house and decided to take a little day trip for breakfast. Kinda hard to pay if you have no money. Then I ate and now I finished my story and posted it. Now I am off to bed.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 2:46pm

Thanks for stealing the thunder off my rock hard abs comment.  God, you're insensitive.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 2:48pm

"Stop thinking about my rock-hard abs."

Impossible.

 

"Posted."

FINALLY!

 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 17, 2012 - 2:49pm

First draft done so now I can troll a bit. 
@Avery, don't you ever criticize my completely useless threads again. Also, I like the kitty. 
@Utah, get a better name! 
@Joe, bout time! Also, welcome back. Also, Avery stole your V8. 

 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 2:50pm

Okay, dudes, I'm gonna post a poll for me and Diaz.  I haven't done this before.  So everybody WATCH OUT!

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 2:52pm

@Matt:  You wrote a 2500 word story in like 30 minutes?  That is fucking awesome.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 2:53pm

Oh, and @Matt:  get fucked!  My name is retardo-fantastic (which means it's so good it makes people stupid).

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 17, 2012 - 2:53pm

Have at it. And you can't vote for yourself Avery!

Sorry for stealing the thunder about your rock hard abs Utah. But you're mormon and will forgive me. Yes, I just stereo typed you based on your name.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 17, 2012 - 2:56pm

@Utah, "retardo-fantastic" you=win. And yeah, done.....shitting out the story is the easy part. Polishing the turd is the tough part. Also, nice abs. No homo. 

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 2:56pm

Actually, you have to vote for yourself, otherwise you can't see the other votes.  So I vote for me, you vote for you and it is a wash. 

 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 2:56pm

I know you did.  And I don't forgive you.  Not for the stereotype.  But for the entire thought process behind it.  I think I'm going to take up drinking and smoking again just so I can say, "Oh yeah?  They don't do this, ya fuck, ya!" and also because I miss putting on my own shoes for work in the morning and discovering where I vomited the night before.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 17, 2012 - 2:57pm

Retardo-Fantastic......That is probably the funniest thing I have heard since.....well, it''s been a while.

 

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 17, 2012 - 2:58pm

Awesome, I'll have one vote and it will be from myself. How sad.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 2:58pm

Utah - don't do it.  He isn't worth it.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 2:59pm

Quit trying to wrangle in the pity votes.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 17, 2012 - 3:00pm

It's not a popularity contest. If it was you would win that one too because you have a vagina. Though I may get Aliens vote.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 17, 2012 - 3:03pm

I don't need any one's pity. I have plenty all by myself. No, I'm a depressed Fuck, but I don't tolerate any one else giving me pity. I think it's worthless to pity someone. Better to slap them in the face and tell them "Hey, why don't you get down off that cross, use the wood to build a bridge, and get the fuck over it."

Stolen line, but oh so good.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 3:03pm

"because you have a vagina."

Hey, not cool. 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 17, 2012 - 3:06pm

Sorry dude, I realize we're cool like that, but after reviewing her shit (that was ON TIME) I told her she had my vote. 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 3:06pm

Well, I wouldn't actually be starting because of him.  That's just the excuse I'd give my wife.  So actually:

Thanks, Diaz!

Now everybody needs to inhale some ether, because it seems things are getting a bit tense all up in this joint.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 3:07pm

Acutally, fuck the last thing I said.  I'll add to it in the spirit of Writer-Battle:

Hey Nick, I don't like your hair.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 17, 2012 - 3:07pm

and not because of the Vag, she did a good job and was....erhm...ON TIME

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 3:08pm

okay.  Spinach party for EVERYONE!

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 3:08pm

And as far as it goes Diaz, I'm keeping and open mind til I read them.  Whole new story from you.  I'm pretty excited.  So save your crying til the votes are in.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 17, 2012 - 3:09pm

You guys just haven't learned. That's what I bring to the table. Tension.

Avery was it Not Cool because I'm wrong or you didn't want people to know?

Matt, I understand.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 17, 2012 - 3:10pm

Dont let this ruin our bromance. It doesn't have to be this way. 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 3:11pm

You two make a cute couple.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 17, 2012 - 3:11pm

Well, if you base it soley for being on time I will never win anything....Ever.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 3:11pm

Not cool because it's sexist and a little demeaning.  But it's cool.  Because there is no limit on that spinach pictured above.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 17, 2012 - 3:12pm

Utah if you want you can join the bromance. There's plenty of love for all of you.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 3:12pm

@Utah - I think I sense ANOTHER LR wedding!

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 17, 2012 - 3:14pm

AVERY!!!! Stop taking everything I say as a direct assault against you. It is just supposed to be light hearted and witty. I am NOT attacking you. Jokes Avery, jokes.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 3:15pm

@Diaz:  Man, I appreciate, seriously.  But long-distance relationships are so hard difficult.

@Avery:  Looks like we just need someone to officiate.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 17, 2012 - 3:15pm

@Avery, wait, people get married on her? 

@Joe, meh

@Utah, Joe and I have always had a mancrush on your abs....just sayin....no homo