Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 17, 2012 - 6:30am

Blame it on Matt. He got me drunk last night. All his fault. I told him I had very important things to do and he just kept feeding me shot after shot knowing full well that I can't turn down drinks. I'm a victim just as much as you are. Blame Matt.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 6:49am

@Diaz:  I would recommend editing your last post to read something along the lines of, "I have been working like Kerouac on my revision for the last 3 days.  I haven't eaten and I've been chewing bennies like Smarties candy.  Does anybody know at what point heart palpitations become life-threatening?  Around midnight tonight I looked over my shoulder and there was a 7 foot tall jackrabbit standing in the corner of my kitchen holding a bottle of Jim Beam and smoking unfiltered Camels.

I will have my revision up by midnight tonight.  Blame the rabbit."

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 17, 2012 - 6:51am

What Utah said. I am now off to sleep. *runs away*

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 6:52am

Listen to Utah.

p.s. - Utah, I feel like you told me this wouldn't happen. 

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 17, 2012 - 6:54am

I was born six weeks late. I have been late with everything else ever since. Just who I am. Learn to like it.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 6:56am

@Avery:  Do you mean when I said,

 

He's still got just over an hour.  Don't worry.  I doubt he'll let you down.  But from the way he was talking, he's pulling a major overhaul on his story.  He may push to the wire.

Yeah, I was basing that assumption on what I know to be Diaz's better nature.  But, like Diaz, I didn't figure the rabbit into my calculations.  Henceforth I shall correct for this factor.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 6:57am

That is so not the right attitude, Joe.  Get off these boards and do whatever you need to do to get your story up!  NOW.

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 17, 2012 - 6:58am

Yes, I absolutely will.

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 7:02am

@Diaz:  So I have a plan that I'm working on in my head.  Nothing final at all.  I might not even do it.  But I probably will.  And it'll be kinda an open-engagement sorta thing, but:

As a for instance, one particular guy who challenged Alien to a battle a couple weeks ago and then never posted his entry will not be allowed to participate because this will involve some deadline dedication (do you like the alliteration?  and then the rhyme?  I'm a regular James Ellroy.).

And I think it would be cool to have you involved. 

So, you know, I'm not sayin nuthin.  I'm just sayin.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 7:05am

@Utah - I read that a lot and I still don't know what it says.  I have to assume it's code. 

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 7:09am

More like hint and less like code.  As I'm not really sure about my own dedication to this thing that I'm not defining, I'm more using it as an obscure leverage point to get Diaz to finish his revision.  This is to your benefit.  My recommendation:  just roll with it and stop trying to expose how ill-defined it really is. 

Gaw!

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 7:13am

My bad.  It's early and I'm sleepy. 

I'm eating sunflower seeds.  The janitor hates when I do that because he doesn't like to change my trash bag, just pick the paper out of it and put it in a bigger bag.  But if it is filled with little seed shells he can't do that.  I try to be polite and spit them in a napkin, then wrap the napkin up so they are contained.  He doesn't seem appeased by this. 

Wait...what?

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 17, 2012 - 7:26am

Wait, whoa! @Joe....lies....How the fuck am I getting blamed here. I had two beers! LOL, you had like what....three I think! I really should have made a play on that blonde though. Get to work Joe! 

 

Also, I am down for a challange. I challange thee....no clue who to challange, but I say end of day deadline, final...draft.....so 7pm....today....who's down? I can shit out flash fiction if I got that kind of deadline. 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 17, 2012 - 7:28am

Wait, I can't I dont have enough points.....still waiting on people to review my review. Screwed the pooch on that one. 

Laramore Black's picture
Laramore Black from Joplin, Missouri is reading Mario Kart 8 February 17, 2012 - 8:21am

I love when it showers, but no one puts flowers on a flower's grave.

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 8:28am

This is twice I have had an unreliable partner for this. Next time I get a challenge, I'm gonna expect references. 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 17, 2012 - 8:32am

I found it odd that the 666th post in this thread belonged to Averydoll....food for thought. haha

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 8:35am

Look, guy, don't start with me. 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 17, 2012 - 8:37am

You in a bad mood today? 

Renfield's picture
Renfield from Hell is reading 20th Century Ghosts February 17, 2012 - 8:42am

I haven't written much all week and I've got a lot of extra workshop points. I'm up for a challenge, anyone. Only I'd rather have a picture prompt, or one of Night Nite's music prompts (that happened, right? Or did I dream that? I haven't checked this thread in awhile.)

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 17, 2012 - 8:45am

Renfield, you up for my 8 hours of madness challange? (once I get my reviews, reviewed.) prompt, written, final 8 hours later. This is like a deathmatch for writers. 

Renfield's picture
Renfield from Hell is reading 20th Century Ghosts February 17, 2012 - 8:55am

Alright, let's try that.

Richard's picture
Richard from St. Louis is reading various anthologies February 17, 2012 - 8:57am

LK, you are so right, not DHL, but Lovecraft. man, must have been tired. my apologies. 

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 17, 2012 - 8:57am

Cool, Ill let you know once I get enough points and drop the challange then. My terms, any prompt, 8 hours to complete, up to 2500 words, one writer left standing 

Jose F. Diaz's picture
Jose F. Diaz from Boston is reading Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel February 17, 2012 - 8:58am

Chill out Avery. I am behind by a day. I am in contact with you. I didn't just suddenly fall off the face of the Earth. We will have the battle. I am almost done with this story.

Now stop being a drama queen.

Laramore Black's picture
Laramore Black from Joplin, Missouri is reading Mario Kart 8 February 17, 2012 - 9:14am

Yeah, who quivers in their boots at DH Lawrence. It's just the name similarity. I get Lawrence of Arabia, Lawrence Welk, and Laurance Rockefeller a lot too. 

I'm going all "Necroscope" on this and digging up Salinger and Lovecraft to argue the plot.
I showed the last lines to some people today and it brought tears to their eyes.
Writing so good it brings tears = accomplished!

Tell Kurt to give me an achievement for it. =]

Richard's picture
Richard from St. Louis is reading various anthologies February 17, 2012 - 9:23am

@laurance kitts - did you write this already? man, i'm still walking around a forest looking at a necklace. grasping at straws. trying to find a road into this one. 

Laramore Black's picture
Laramore Black from Joplin, Missouri is reading Mario Kart 8 February 17, 2012 - 9:32am

Nah, I just got some really good inspiration at around one in the morning. Couldn't sleep before writing some of them down, only got a beginning and an end to build the story around. I'm kind of worried though that it won't be as long as I like it to be. I know the rules are a 2500 word minimum, but is 500 to a 1000 less okay if it works out?

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin February 17, 2012 - 9:44am

I thought 2.5k was the maximum.

Richard's picture
Richard from St. Louis is reading various anthologies February 17, 2012 - 9:44am

ha, i was thinking the same thing. your call on length, LK. the story is what it is, right? if it ends up being 500, so be it. if it's 2499, that's cool too.

i entered a contest at Cafe Doom for One Buck Horror magazine. the only story i had that fit the competition was about 900 words. i was competing against some 60 stories. i limped into the top ten, and the editor at OBH picked my story as the best. against much longer works. so, your call.

and yes, i throw this out there as intimidation. Cthulhu can bite me. :-)

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 9:54am

2500 max is the going rate.

Laramore Black's picture
Laramore Black from Joplin, Missouri is reading Mario Kart 8 February 17, 2012 - 10:00am

I meant maximum, oops. And that sounds good to me. Showing off your accolades, eh?
Don't awaken the deep seeded jealousy of the day you won Punchnel's and I got a rejection letter!

THE ELDER GOD AND I WILL TAKE YOU DOWN! 

Says a lot that it takes dark powers from other worlds to take you down though.

Richard's picture
Richard from St. Louis is reading various anthologies February 17, 2012 - 10:24am

lol. great picture. 

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin February 17, 2012 - 10:41am

Laurance, if you are working with Cthulhu doesn't that make you... The Coon?

Your secret Identity has been revealed! And I thought it was Cartman the whole time.

Laramore Black's picture
Laramore Black from Joplin, Missouri is reading Mario Kart 8 February 17, 2012 - 10:44am

I resemble closer to a puffer fish, making myself bigger to seem like an unbeatable force.

But Cartman? REALLY?

avery of the dead's picture
avery of the dead from Kentucky is reading Cipher Sisters February 17, 2012 - 10:46am

COON AND FRIENDS!!

Nick Wilczynski's picture
Nick Wilczynski from Greensboro, NC is reading A Dance with Dragons by George R.R. Martin February 17, 2012 - 11:03am

It wasn't anything personal LK, you're the one who started consorting with the Elder God.

Laramore Black's picture
Laramore Black from Joplin, Missouri is reading Mario Kart 8 February 17, 2012 - 11:06am

Haha, Cthulhu calls me!

Utah's picture
Moderator
Utah from Fort Worth, TX is reading Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry February 17, 2012 - 11:23am

What does he call you?

Haha!

Buh-dum-ching!

Laramore Black's picture
Laramore Black from Joplin, Missouri is reading Mario Kart 8 February 17, 2012 - 11:34am

It's mostly gurgles, but it sounds like "master". Gurgles to literature is quite a process.

Also, cleaning the fish tank is pretty time consuming.
Probably Craigslist him after this victory.

NikKorpon's picture
NikKorpon from Baltimore is reading Book and books and books and February 17, 2012 - 12:00pm

Be careful, Laurence. Richard'll unleash the fury. It's a cute fury, but it'll fuck you up.

Laramore Black's picture
Laramore Black from Joplin, Missouri is reading Mario Kart 8 February 17, 2012 - 12:09pm

I'll take the cuddles as they come my way.
How's your schedule right now, Nik?

I know just the guy who would love to spar with you.
(We can sign other people up, right?)

NikKorpon's picture
NikKorpon from Baltimore is reading Book and books and books and February 17, 2012 - 12:31pm

I'm busy at the moment, but I'll throw my hat in after AWP.

Laramore Black's picture
Laramore Black from Joplin, Missouri is reading Mario Kart 8 February 17, 2012 - 1:50pm

Sounds good!

But in all seriousness, LitReactor should have a super battle royale.
Set it up to where it leaves one man standing. (Maybe get Chuck as the final fight!)

Start it out with Nik, Richard, Phil, Brandon, Caleb, and maybe even get other greats on board like Donald, Clevenger, and Stephen Graham Jones versus a selection of LitReactor writers. And even if you guys wipe the floor with every last one of us, it would be interesting to watch you guys duke it out, but mean the world to give some of us the shot.

Maybe see if the LitCoach will give the prompts?
I bet Kirk could implement a way to make the workshop submissions anonymous for the stories to be judged on their own merit without anyone's face behind them too. 

I don't know, just some thoughts of grandeur for all you guys to think about.
Be a hell of a showdown and LitReactor would surge even higher into greatness.

 

Richard's picture
Richard from St. Louis is reading various anthologies February 17, 2012 - 1:41pm

I think I'm more aligned with this guy, Nik:

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Laramore Black's picture
Laramore Black from Joplin, Missouri is reading Mario Kart 8 February 17, 2012 - 1:45pm

We will build our own cheesy Godzilla vs.              film by the end of this.

Renfield's picture
Renfield from Hell is reading 20th Century Ghosts February 17, 2012 - 1:46pm

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

 

This is what I yell at every occasion a naked woman spreads her legs for me. The joke is recieved well on a much rarer occasion.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 17, 2012 - 1:49pm

@Renfield, I am going to have to try that hahaha-----also, you ready for 8 hours of madness? It's either that or I post a novel extract

Renfield's picture
Renfield from Hell is reading 20th Century Ghosts February 17, 2012 - 1:52pm

Sure let's go. Hopefully I'll be left alone for eight hours.

Matt Attack's picture
Matt Attack from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner February 17, 2012 - 1:54pm

Alright, 8 hours starting at the prompt, 2500 words max and only one survivor. I  challange thee Renfield