Funny you went that way and made those comments, Moon. I thought of you when I read this. It just whispered 'noir' with every breath, I thought.
I actually voted the other way, which really is a departure for me.
POTENTIAL SPOILERS BELOW...
Though I'm a huge advocate for orientation and marriage equality and most issues of an LGBT nature, I almost never enjoy stories where the main character is a gay man. That I felt it was a clear-cut choice as the suprerior story should tell you how much I enjoyed it. That, and the fact that I could overlook any mention of unicorns!
Good job, both of you - whoever you are.
These stories are so different that I can't make up my mind.
The Obstructed Payoff's strongest point, in my opinion, was that the heroine fought her own battle. That's the real change I could identify in her character and I loved it. The way she went from using the tricks Block taught her to being the heroine Block didn't make her -- that was great.
It was cheesy and silly, but in a great way. In a "I'm mocking the writer's process, because I know how much bullshit it is" way. I literally get sad about the things I do to my characters sometimes! Seeing that come to life on the page in such an elaborate way was exciting.
But A Unicorn Named Jeremy really touched my heart. TOP invariably had stronger prose, but AUNJ came from a more emotional place. It didn't focus on semantics or theatrics or a hokey back road voice, but all of the pain and anguish shone through.
A lot of questions were left unanswered in AUNJ, though. In TOP, I could assume that Block would be kind to his character and do right by her; in AUNJ, I had to stop and wonder. Why did Jeremy kill himself? Was he gay? Or was it an accident? I took it as Jeremy was gay, and that made the chase scene even more delectable -- it's literally a case of dying-while-trying-to-outrun-yourself. I loved it.
I can't make a decision, though. The characters were more fleshed out in TOP, but the characters were more heartbreaking in AUNJ. The prose was technically stronger in TOP, but it seemed like every word in AUNJ pushed the reader further over the line of emotional authenticity. I did prefer the dialogue in AUNJ to the dialogue/inner monologue in TOP, but that's because it let the hokey back road sound come through without having to resort to a gimmicky phonetic spelling. (I'm very picky about phonetic spellings for accents, and in my case, it's better to leave it out entirely; I've definitely seen it done well, but I've also seen it done horribly.)
I've tried to work myself through the pros and cons of both stories with my comment, and I'm going to have to go with A Unicorn Named Jeremy. It may not have been as polished, but I think it had more potential.
There is nothing apparent about the code in my story. It isn't anything top secret, or really connected to any of you, it is just a unifying thread woven into the prose of GH as an attempt to try what I often assumed writers might find a fun challenge.
As to what anyone else 'gets' I don't have a clue.
EDIT - It's also come to my attention that I screwed up the 'code' in at least one or two spots, so blech... I suck. It should be clear enough, though, that anyone can figure out what certain words were supposed to be even if the sequence of letters got fucked up by my own incompetence. Ugh, I really hate making mistakes, but thanks to Courtney, I caught them and will be able to fix them in the next revision.
Anyways... I think it is always a good idea to read any story carefully. Skimming does no one any justice, neither the writer nor the skimming reader.
This would have been revealed earlier, but I was in Chicago for a wedding with no access to the interwebs. Congrats Stratton, this was a damn close battle, and I think it easily could have fallen either way. Thanks to everyone who voted and expressed their opinions. I think it's fun when there is more interaction.
