Matt Attack
from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William FaulknerMay 9, 2012 - 1:13pm
Story time!
So I go to this wine tasting. Wasn't a fan. Of any of it. Anyway, I start talking to this cute brunette, Jenny. It starts with the normal stuff, "Where do you work" "How long have you been here?" ect ect
In her spare time, she mentions she likes knitting, crochet, things like that. I thought it was a little old fashion, especially for a girl with a nose ring, but I was curious. She also seems to be getting cuter and flirtier, so I ask her about it.
She goes on and on and on about it. How she can make this and that, or these patterns. It was mildly interesting (like I said, she seemed cute and spunky) and then she said: "My husband really likes the scarf I made him."
And that is when I realized, why the fuck do I care about crochet and knitting?
Matt Attack
from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William FaulknerMay 9, 2012 - 1:22pm
@AD she was, but I didn't realize it until AFTER she said it. It was one of those 'lean over, glance, look back' type things. In retrospect I should have checked first, I will never get those 7 minutes back.
averydoll
from Kentucky is reading Lisey's Story by Stephen KingMay 9, 2012 - 3:04pm
Have you never seen this??? It's pretty old. But I quote it a lot. And now I just realized no one probably knows what I'm talking about when I talk about passionate flowers...
Matt Attack
from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William FaulknerMay 10, 2012 - 8:06am
I don't think she is that cute.
Story time!
So, I get to the Orioles game and it starts raining as we're getting supper. We stood around for two hours and then we were told, "Game has been postponed." Sad face. I really wanted to take out my anger on the smattering of Rangers fans, but they seemed like decent folks, so I didn't. If they were Red Sox fans? Oh yeah.
Just once I want to start a sports related hoopla. Just to say I did it.
However, they exchanged are tickets for better seats during the double header today. PLUS! It's free t-shirt day!
Matt Attack
from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William FaulknerMay 10, 2012 - 2:42pm
I just heard a great story idea. Not my kind of thing, but I have a feeling one of you might be able to make a gem out of it.
A co-worker lives in South East DC (kind of rough) and he said his brothers does "Capers". My first thought was Keystone Cops. Not so much apparently.
So, what happens is, his brother will go out, find other criminals (thieves, drug dealers ect ect) and rob them. He reasons no one will call the cops for something that is already stolen or illicit to begin with. Apparently on occasion, his brother will give to charity with the proceeds.
Matt Attack
from Richmond, Va. is reading As I Lay Dying, William FaulknerMay 10, 2012 - 3:03pm
@AD, cool story, don't care.
Anyway, Typie
Yeah, it was a little strange. He doesn't seem to give a shit either.
Apparently a group of them were at a BBQ. His friend drove a T-Bird there. Everyone is drinking, left his keys in a jar. His brother took the keys, stole the car, robbed a few folks. The friend is freaking out, but it's the hood so he doesn't want to call the police (stop snitching, ect). His brother pulls back up, hands him the keys and thanks him.
I suppose that could be viewed as innuendo. 2 points.
But one should never write one's own "ZING!" I do apologize.
No, you can. Boom, bam and ba-zing would have also been acceptable.
B,B & BZ!
KAPOWZER!
ENGLISH, FFS. WE SPEAK ENGLISH HERE.
Fascist.
What the fuck is FFS? I looked it up. Not English.
Edit: zing
J.Y. please zing this post.
Taken was not the best word to use in that reply.
Story time!
So I go to this wine tasting. Wasn't a fan. Of any of it. Anyway, I start talking to this cute brunette, Jenny. It starts with the normal stuff, "Where do you work" "How long have you been here?" ect ect
In her spare time, she mentions she likes knitting, crochet, things like that. I thought it was a little old fashion, especially for a girl with a nose ring, but I was curious. She also seems to be getting cuter and flirtier, so I ask her about it.
She goes on and on and on about it. How she can make this and that, or these patterns. It was mildly interesting (like I said, she seemed cute and spunky) and then she said: "My husband really likes the scarf I made him."
And that is when I realized, why the fuck do I care about crochet and knitting?
Was she wearing a ring?
Zing / Zinged
Zing / Zang
Zing / Zung
@AD she was, but I didn't realize it until AFTER she said it. It was one of those 'lean over, glance, look back' type things. In retrospect I should have checked first, I will never get those 7 minutes back.
@J.Y. That's beautiful, like a burn haiku.
RIP Maurice Sendak
I have a huge zit on my neck.
define huge
My friend is pregnant and due any day. This morning she sent me the following email at 6:30am.
"I am losing plug like a mother fucker....how big is this thing? the size of a satellite dish?"
Enjoy your day.
Plug?
I'd upload a picture, but I can't find my wide-angle lens.
I'd lance it, but I can't find my cavalry saber.
I'd pop it, but I can't find any oil for the C-clamps.
I'd cover it up, but I don't have the power adapter for the paint gun.
What's with the poetry?
"Plug?"
mucus plug.
which is why I used it in word association earlier.
I meant in inches or cm.
My despair cannot be expressed through conventional prose.
Why do I get the feeling you're wearing black eyeliner and listening to Dashboard Confessional and Ani DiFranco?
Eyeliner has run off.
Working on a Dashboard / Ani mash-up on my Powerbook.
Laptop is covered in birds.
Earrings starting to itch.
Mucus plug is two words, cheater.
Working on a Dashboard / Ani mash-up on my Powerbook.
Laptop is covered in birds.
Earrings starting to itch."
Hahaha, love it.
@AD Hahahaha, where did you find this!
You = win with that. I swear going forward, I will retire "shut your face" just for that.
Have you never seen this??? It's pretty old. But I quote it a lot. And now I just realized no one probably knows what I'm talking about when I talk about passionate flowers...
I have not, I wish I had. I think I may change my username to Iheartbullets....heavy sigh...if it wasn't so pointless.
Wait, I got a question:
Which is worse?
Hipsters or Emo kids?
hipsters. Emos tend to wail and bitch about how bad their lives are, hipsters stare you down. Also, emo fashion is cute.
case in point
she is adoreable.
I don't think she is that cute.
Story time!
So, I get to the Orioles game and it starts raining as we're getting supper. We stood around for two hours and then we were told, "Game has been postponed." Sad face. I really wanted to take out my anger on the smattering of Rangers fans, but they seemed like decent folks, so I didn't. If they were Red Sox fans? Oh yeah.
Just once I want to start a sports related hoopla. Just to say I did it.
However, they exchanged are tickets for better seats during the double header today. PLUS! It's free t-shirt day!
Everything is coming up Milhouse!
@Matty.. idk i like her. she's pretty and relatively nice. But she has a boyfriend. :P
I thought you were gay? So you're bi?
Pansexaul. I wanna fuck everyone. Well; gay, straight, trans.
How very Roman of you. I almost imagine you reclining on pillows, demanding wine and grapes.
"BOY! Boy! More wine! Are the wrestlers oiled for their romp? How delightful."
Naw, I'm more grecian.
"Hey, Polydectes, get Daphne over here for some fun."
"Yeah, sure. Ya know, one of my friends is rally cute, he's name is Androgenes."
"Bring him as well"
"Cool."
"Yay"
Guys you are debating theoretical orgies.
Spilled soy sauce on the keyboard
seems fine
I just heard a great story idea. Not my kind of thing, but I have a feeling one of you might be able to make a gem out of it.
A co-worker lives in South East DC (kind of rough) and he said his brothers does "Capers". My first thought was Keystone Cops. Not so much apparently.
So, what happens is, his brother will go out, find other criminals (thieves, drug dealers ect ect) and rob them. He reasons no one will call the cops for something that is already stolen or illicit to begin with. Apparently on occasion, his brother will give to charity with the proceeds.
@Matty
hooray for psychopathic robin-hooding
I have a theory that every "story" Matt tells is made up.
but it's just the theory.
@AD, cool story, don't care.
Anyway, Typie
Yeah, it was a little strange. He doesn't seem to give a shit either.
Apparently a group of them were at a BBQ. His friend drove a T-Bird there. Everyone is drinking, left his keys in a jar. His brother took the keys, stole the car, robbed a few folks. The friend is freaking out, but it's the hood so he doesn't want to call the police (stop snitching, ect). His brother pulls back up, hands him the keys and thanks him.
I'm considering going for my Doctorate in Social Theology, simply so my name can be Profunda Saint-Sylvain, STD.
Yes?
YES
tumblr is the new hell