Hi Everyone,
As I've been battling in improve my dire dialogue in my stories lately so I've started to use more slang words to try and make the world a little bit more real. I've posted UK slang in my stories like for instance the word "chav" which basicly means a bloke who can often to be found lurking close to fast food outlets or late night stores trying to cause trouble. In the review the reviewer thought it was a spelling mistake for the word "chap." which causes a bit of confusion.
Adding slang is tricky, not knowing what slag words mean can take the reader out of the story as they try and figure out what your talking about. There are two ways in which I figuered out how to depoly them. The first is the lazy way of having a list of words and their meaning at the start of the story. Or drop words in like the TV show the wire and let the viewer figure out the terminilogy being used.
I'd intrested in how you folks appraoch it, do you leave slang out alltogether or let the reader work it out.
Ta
Dave.
Some of the fun I've had in reading British crime lit or watching movies like "Sexy Beast" is trying to figure out the slang. Granted that it's easier with books since you can pause to look up the gem in question rather than to break a movie's flow doing the same, but I've also found that if the writer's good, I can usually tell what's meant just through contrxt alone. I just look up the word later to verify. I mean, if Anthony Burgess could get away with it--and that was mostly made-up slang--then it's totally doable. For my money, i say keep the slang and let the reader probe and explore.
Slang is a tough one because you don't want to alienate your readers, but you also want you're dialogue to be as real as possible. One thing I do is try to explain within the context around the dialogue. So, with chav you could say something like.
"Get outta here you fucking chav," I said, trying to get this troublemaker from selling dope in front of my store.
Its a shit example, but I think you get the point. I didn't know what a chav was until your post, but within the context written above I would understand and still remain grounded in the story.
Hope this helps in some way.
I'd do one of two things:
1. Keep the slang. Let people figure it out. You can include a glossary at the end if you're using a lot of words, but follow the example of The Wire and drop it in. In True Romance almost every character says "Something must be rotten in Denmark" to describe a something not being as good as it seems, and you know this from the first time it's used, as it is subtly explained in the rest of the line.
I can't tell you... that was one of the best times I ever had. It was. But, you know, I knew something must be rotten in Denmark. There was no way you could like me that much. Man, I can't tell you how relieved I was when you took off your dress, you... you didn't have a dick."
- Clarence Worley, True Romance
2. Replace the slang. Rather than use 'chav' use 'buccaneer' and talk about them like they are pirates pillaging the streets of Dagenham, riding low up the high street in their Ford Fiestas scouting for lone teenagers to terrify and rob. You could go into a whole thing about them being like Robin Hood, without the moral code, or whatever. Use metaphor to get across the meaning, instead of just saying the word. Show, don't tell. Then have a character refer to them as chavs (after the description) as in point 1, if you still want to use the word.
Just been thinking about this whilst driving home from work, elaborating on my previous answer. I think I'd write something like this to introduce the chavs, then later any use of the word would be understood.
The chains creaked in the cold air, rigging climbing up a steel mast, ascending to the black sky where the moon watched over the city. The scout sat atop the climbing frame, a crows nest above the swings, scanning the horizon for an opportunity to plunder. The rotating hood stopped, dark eyes focused on a lone boy, marooned on the kerb, awaiting the next bus. A hand pointed and the group rose from the darkness, embarking with threatening swagger across the playground. Heads hidden under hats and hoods halted at the road, watched the traffic thin. The boy ignored the crew, hoped they would go away. They started moving over the asphalt, stalking their prey, sliding between vehicles, moving as one towards the quivering child. It was at this moment Chris walked out of the shop, bottle of wine in hand.
"Oi, phone." said the pack leader, a grimy paw stuffed down his waist to intimate the presence of a gun. The boy's eyes widened, terrified. The others were circling, surrounding him, wolves in the night.
Chris eyed them, calculating his chances. The bottle was heavy, thick glass, unlikely to break. He took the neck and tried it's weight, before stepping forward, a troubadour marching into the gates of hell.
"Fuck off." he said, staring at the chief. Another step forward.
"You gonna make me, clean shirt?" The youth threw his head back, the alpha male reaffirming his masculinity. A fixed jaw emerged from the shadow of the hood.
"You're about fifteen, right? You ever been hit by a bottle? Fuck off. I won't tell you again."
The leader looked around, people had stopped. They were watching. He pinched his lips, emitting a squelching click.
"You're not worth it yo, cunt, let's breeze." He popped his head like a pigeon, stepped back, turned and left. The cronies followed, tails between their legs, retreating to the safety of the playground.
"Fucking chavs." Chris said, talking almost to himself. He looked to the boy.
"You okay?"
"Yeah, thanks mate." The boy looked embarrased. No gratitude. The youth of today.
It's funny Seb brought up True Romance (and not just because I'd fuck Elvis)...Tarantino wrote that, and I love Tarantino's dialogue because he makes it so real, that he can also get away with his characters saying shit that most people would never say out loud. I was going to mention him before I read Seb's comment--so onward.
Awhile back when Jackie Brown (based on the novel Rum Punch, by another master of dialoge, Elmore Leonard) was coming out, Tarantino went on The View (don't ask me WHY, I don't know). He got a heaping portion of shit from Star Jones about the repeated and gratuitous use of the word "nigger" in his films. He handled it pretty well, considering. He basically said--he tries to write the truth, so if the character he created is the kind of guy that would throw that word around--the word gets thrown around. This was years ago, so I don't remember specifics, I just remember him making the strong point that he wouldn't omit a word his characters would say just to make other people happy.
If your dialogue rings true, let it ring true. In all honesty, when someone who is American tries to write British slang and vice verse--its painful to read. You're a Brit, yes? Write the British slang. Let the reality of the setting come through, there is enough of a bleed between the US/Canada/Britain to get away with it, and even find readers who love it because it embraces the British slang.
Oh and to answer your specific question, I use slang in dialogue. I try to envision a conversation between my characters as happening outside my words on paper, and then try to put it on paper as best I can. They use slang, I use slang.
(based on the novel Rum Punch, by another master of dialoge, Elmore Leonard)
- I always, always, recommend Elmore as an example of excellent dialogue. Favorite author. His dialogue is second to none.
The only thing worse than noticing a typo after your comment has been up for awhile, is noticing it after someone has quoted you...
Hehe.
Haha! It's 'dialogue' ;)
Always use slang where appropriate. Irvine Welsh's prose is almost incomprehensible when you start reading it, but once you pick it up, you can't imagine the story without it. If you have to sanitizae to the point where everyone can understand it, then you're not being true to the story.
I also thought it was funny in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang when Downey, Jr.'s character misused it as "rotten in Denver" and then Monaghan corrects him. And of course it goes all the way back to Macbeth. I swear when Shane Black was writing that movie, he must've just been pulling in all these witty dialogue snips left over from a pile of unsold scripts or whatever; it's just chock full of golden ones.
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang...wildly underrated. I was going to paraphrase this, but decided to look it up to get it right--one of my favorite exchanges in te whole film:
Harry: Perry?
Perry: Yeah?
Harry: I peed on it.
Perry: What? You peed on what?
Harry: I peed on the corpse. Can they do, like, ID from that?
Perry: I'm sorry, you peed on...?
Harry: On the corpse. My question is...
Perry: No, my question, I get to go first: Why in pluperfect hell would you pee on a corpse?
Harry: I didn't intend to! It's not like I did it for kicks!
I could quote these all night. I also like:
- - - - - -
Perry: Out. Go. Sleep badly. Any questions, hesitate to call.
Harry: Bad.
Perry: Excuse me?
Harry: It's "sleep bad." You see—
Perry: Badly's a fucking adverb. Who taught you grammar?
(Earlier, Harmony had corrected Harry when he said that he "felt badly," and she explained that badly was an adverb, implying that the mechanism which allows him to feel was broken, as opposed to the adjective bad, as in remorseful.)
- - - - - - -
Perry: Look up idiot in the dictionary, know what you'll find?
Harry: A picture of me?
Perry: No … the definition of idiot, which you fucking are!
- - - - - - -
Harmony: I mean, you could sleep here, but it would only be "sleeping." If that's gonna frustrate you—
Harry (shrugs): Let's find out.
Cheers for the tips and advice everyone,
As soon ask posted this I thought about a clockwork orange, seems like burgess had it nailed!
Will defo be playing about this with future work, it's all in the context and setting up a scene that lets the reader see the connections.
Dino - if your a fn of British film check out kill list or dead mans shoes- dark films but great!
Kiss kiss bang bang is a great film!
Perry: Did your dad love you?
Harry: Only when I dressed up like a beer bottle, how about you?
Perry: Well, he used to beat me in Morse code, so it's possible, but he never said the words.
big-old-dave - Been totally considering renting Kill List, but for some reason haven't brought myself to do it. Now I will--thanks!
It's bonkers! Watched in a cinema and everyone walked out going WTF? The ending is going to make you like it or hate it. I liked it, we don't seem to make really good horror these days. Forgot tyrannosaur as well if you get the chance, it's real British kitchen sink grimness but the acting is amazing.
If everyone walked out, how did you see the ending?
Everyone walked out after the film ended going WTF :))
i don't think i've ever walked out of a cinema before the end, i even stuck out batman and robin!
I love Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. I wish I could find the book it's based on. But the dialogue probably isn't the same.
@Sparrow - I've seen a Brit mess up British slang so badly in a rough draft here (just sounded fake) I thought he was an American trying to write about slang he'd never heard. It did turn out he was writing about a city/group he wasn't familiar with, but still.
In general I think it is important to establish that it is a certain place/group/time to use there slang, since some words have more then one meaning. If you just drop in a bit of slang it can sound out of place/be confusing, more so if you aren't sure who it is supposed to be saying it.
@Dwayne--well, of course. I should have been more general--writing in slang you aren't familiar with at all, regardless of what country you're from is rarely a good idea.
@Sparrow - I know ma'am, I was just pointing out the poor phrasing so people would maybe remember to think in terms of "do I know this sland" not "we are from the same broad group".
Yeah, I understand. You just witnessed a rare occurance of me admitting fault. Be proud.
Please select from the following as you deem appropriate, then place in the order you prefer -
- Thank you? (sounding confused)
- Thank you. (sounding confident)
- Thank you! (sounding overly excited)
- I'm sorry.
- Congrats!
- Of course I'm proud.
- Vague nod. (may be selected more the once)
*Note, you may not select more then one "Thank you" option.
I think 6 & 7 are your best bet.
Dwayne says, "Of course I'm proud," while he nods vaguely.
"And of course it goes all the way back to Macbeth."
Hamlet
Harry: "There, too …"
Dammit. I always get those mixed up. You'd think the "Mac" would help me keep my Scottish and Danish straight, but no.
