Clutch's picture
Clutch from Detroit Metro Area now living in Charlotte, NC is reading "The Spooky Art" by Norman Mailer April 23, 2012 - 4:03pm

I'm writing a story that is intended to be humorous. Some people believe puns are groaners, yet puns were at one time considered the 'highest form of comedy'. I kinda like them, if they're used well and sparingly...

What are your thoughts on the use of puns?

Second. here's the pun I want to use. Is it grammatically correct?

I have a boy who is sad because he lost a dear family member. James doesn't want to go to the party, because he would rather bereft alone in his room.

"bereft alone" in his room ...

Is that a crack up? Is it even grammatically sound? as in he'd rather morn in his room.

Thanks in advance for any response.

PS: Later in my story an evil man will die and his death will be truly "unbereavable". Funny?

PSS: I only intend to use a few well placed puns throughout the story.

ReneeAPickup's picture
ReneeAPickup from Joshua Tree, CA is reading The Sound of Lonliness April 23, 2012 - 5:03pm

Hmm. I don't know, I like puns but those are both groaners for me. It reads more like a poorly executed parody of a Chinese accent than a good pun.

Clutch's picture
Clutch from Detroit Metro Area now living in Charlotte, NC is reading "The Spooky Art" by Norman Mailer April 27, 2012 - 1:20pm

Thanks!

I questioned the usage, pondered it, typed it out and read it through. I like it. It reads well enough and in context it fits. My gut says to go ahead and use "bereft alone." So, it'll stay.

The other one I'll leave out.

bryanhowie's picture
bryanhowie from FW, ID is reading Comic books and motorcycle riding guides April 27, 2012 - 1:43pm

Your examples remind me of portmanteau.

Clutch's picture
Clutch from Detroit Metro Area now living in Charlotte, NC is reading "The Spooky Art" by Norman Mailer April 27, 2012 - 1:52pm

Yes. You're right.

I suppose they're not even puns.

ReneeAPickup's picture
ReneeAPickup from Joshua Tree, CA is reading The Sound of Lonliness April 28, 2012 - 12:50am

I can say I feel less "ugh" about it with only using "bereft alone" and not "unbereavable". It takes the "wakka wakka" feeling about a Chinese accent joke away.

Is this meant to be in dialogue or...? I mean, obviously, it is hard to gauge how well it will work without seeing it context.

DorianxGrey's picture
DorianxGrey from Transexual, Transylvania is reading A Storm of Swords by George R. R. Martin May 2, 2012 - 10:31pm

I once had a character that was a wacky, annoying, jokester type and I had him constantly tell puns. That way, if the reader liked puns, they would laugh at what he said; if they didn't , it helped characterize him as irritating and unfunny.

Clutch's picture
Clutch from Detroit Metro Area now living in Charlotte, NC is reading "The Spooky Art" by Norman Mailer May 3, 2012 - 3:56pm

That's a good idea.

Bill Tucker's picture
Bill Tucker from the Upper East Side of Manhattan is reading Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs May 3, 2012 - 4:49pm

Yeah, the puns can be used to flesh out the character but as a comedic device, it wouldn't work.  They also break the flow of the story, because when you read a pun, you automatically insert the "wakka wakka" pause, killing the stories momentum.  I'd avoid them unless they are in dialouge and the character is meant to be a bit of a cornball.

Not saying those puns are corny, by the way.  They are quite clever.  Just not as a comedic device.