Image: "Book & Love" by Pradyumna Prabhu
When I came up with a Jeff-Foxworthy-style “Signs You’re in Love with a Writer” post for LitReactor, I knew one thing for sure: infinite internet brains would be better than mine alone. So I took to the social media streets (Facebook and Twitter) asking writers and lovers of writers to offer their own one-liners using the hashtag #InLoveWithAWriter.
The examples I gave of signs you’re in love with a writer:
- You think wrist braces are sexy
- Dates always turn into brainstorming sessions
I was delighted by how many people decided to play. They were funny, snarky, heartfelt, or simply true. I went through and picked out my favorites for your amusement. (Some of them I altered slightly to fit the setup wording.) Behold!
50 Signs You’re In Love With A Writer:
You think the musky, unshowered for days smell is sexy (eau de deadline) —Jess Capelle
The only time the kitchen gets cleaned is when they have writer's block —Sarah L. Blair
Their perfect murder in the game of Clue would be the editor in the library with a large red Sharpie —Tonya Murphy Mitchell
The smell of keyboard dust/printer ink turns you on —Alex Langley
Books seem to reproduce in your house like bunnies —Christopher Shultz
Instead of love notes, you send texts back and forth about the best fantasy swear words to use —Cynthia Barnes
You spend more time discussing fictional characters than real people —Daniel Moss
You have resigned yourself to the fact that twitter *might* actually count as work...sometimes —Darci Cole
You can never be sure WHO that person is today —Del Cain
Attending an author signing has the same religious-like significance as a church service —Tonya Murphy Mitchell
You're in a three-way relationship —Derek Chivers
Your suggestion of a great opening line becomes a moment that bonds your relationship forever —Jennifer Nielsen
Foreplay involves reading favorite sexy bits from books you both love ;) —Jenny Bhatt
You enjoy acting out scenes so your writer can accurately describe body movement —Jess Capelle
You can't visit a new city without hitting up a bookstore —Christopher Shultz
She gets up at 4:30. Cuz seriously. Who does that? —Karrie Zylstra Myton
Your house is filled with pens, pencils, sticky notes, notebooks and lots of sugar and caffeine —Katherine K
All your fights are recorded for late night session playback #inspiration —katiuska brigian
When they write a love poem for you but then you later realize they wrote it for THEM —Alessia M
You're no longer concerned when the police/fire/federal agencies call —Jennifer August
You celebrate more writing milestones than you do anniversaries —Cynthia Barnes
You like being ignored for hours (or days, or even months. Years? Did someone says years?) on end —Kristen Stevens
You don't find it weird they start brainstorming ways to murder & get away with it —Krystle Kwiatkowski
You're not alarmed that your SO's search history includes poisons, weapons, and rare diseases —Laurel Gale
You understand that deadlines mean it's your month to cook —Liana Brooks
You suddenly find yourself inspired to write —Lindsay Ryan
Seeing "Plot the murder" on the To Do list raises no cause for alarm (you think) —Lisa Bubert
You secretly provide ALL the best plot points but your name never makes the cover —Kelsey Macke
You don't blink when asked seemingly random questions out of the blue... worse yet you answer them not expecting to get any context. He just leaves the room —Maaike Linton
Your house is covered in post-it notes with scribble on them —Marc Nash
When calling someone a pantser isn't foreplay —Mark Benson
You love every book he or she has written —Monique Aimee Dyer
You're completely blasé about it when you discover their search history —Regina Richards
You're a simple country kid and yet you find yourself using five dollar words like blasé —Regina Richards
They go into a spasmodic fit when they spot typographical errors on public signs and billboards —Tonya Murphy Mitchell
If you've ever had to buy them chocolate to recover from a bad case of Cover Art Blues —Liana Brooks
The arguments you've been having make their way into their WiP —Rob Kristoffersen
You listen to many versions of a query letter/synopsis/outline & appreciate the small changes to perfection —Sarah Bale
All the pens are missing and you find them stashed in the nightstand —Sarah L. Blair
You let him hang a giant whiteboard in your living room for all his brainstorming notes —Maaike Linton
You don't mind being stared at like a vulture while you're reading a manuscript —Saundra Mitchell
Scrabble is an Olympic sport —Tonya Murphy Mitchell
Your pen budget goes up exponentially —Christopher Shultz
The endless cycle of self-loathing, self-doubt, and self-aggrandizement is simply irresistible —Kelsey Macke
Thank you so much to all who played along! Want more? Just hop on Twitter and check out the hashtag #InLoveWithAWriter or visit my Facebook thread for even more than I could fit in one list. And feel free to add your own; it’s never too late to poke fun of and/or celebrate the weirdest people on Earth. ;)
About the author
Annie Neugebauer likes to make things as challenging as possible for herself by writing horror, poetry, literary, and speculative fiction—often blended together in ways ye olde publishing gods have strictly forbidden. She’s a two-time Bram Stoker Award-nominated author with work appearing and forthcoming in more than a hundred publications, including magazines such as Cemetery Dance, Apex, and Black Static, as well as anthologies such as Year’s Best Hardcore Horror Volumes 3 & 4 and #1 Amazon bestsellers Killing It Softly and Fire. She’s an active member of the Horror Writers Association, and in addition to LitReactor, a columnist for Writer Unboxed. She’s represented by Alec Shane of Writers House. She needs to make new friends because her current ones are tired of hearing about House of Leaves. You can visit her at AnnieNeugebauer.com for news, poems, organizational tools for writers, and more.
